Over at AlterNet, Greg Palast writes: “In Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, the Supreme Court ruled that corporations should be treated the same as ‘natural persons,’ i.e. humans. Well, in that case, expect the Supreme Court to next rule that Wal-Mart can run for President.”
This very scenario was envisioned decades ago by cartoonist Gilbert Shelton in his graphic novel “The Nurds of November,” in which the jobless deuce reporter Philbert Desanex — the mild-mannered alter ego of the Super Swine, Wonder Wart-Hog — runs for president against the corporation Gloptron.
Whether he was drawing Wonder Wart-Hog or The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, Shelton always seemed more politically intelligent than most of his contemporaries. In 1976, he teamed up with Ted Richards, Gary Hallgren and Willy Murphy to pen “Give Me Liberty! A Revised History of the American Revolution.” The “Nurds” book followed in 1980. It ends, as you might expect, badly, with a hungover constitutional convention establishing a fascist dictatorship led by a very much alive Adolf Hitler, who had his skull and teeth surgically removed to mislead his enemies.
Shortly thereafter Shelton left the Benighted States for France, taking his prescience with him. In 1995, he told The Idler: “The Christian fundamentalist right are … scary. I just didn’t want to be involved. The whole way that America wants stupid people in power, and the way they want to remove anyone with any ideas or any education, get rid of the bright people.”
Mad Blog Media 
“We the People” just ceased to exist in the U.S.Constitution. It is really scary to contemplate.
So what will the Supremes rewrite next? Miranda or Dread Scott?
Hey, Charley,
You have to guy-wire the RV down to keep from getting blown to Texas? I see where Poppy and Babs Bush just dumped Rick “Goodhair” Perry for Kay Bailey Hutchison — if they’re eating their own it’s probably someplace you don’t want to be spending your golden years.
And Bill, well, times being as tough as they are I figure the Supremes will consolidate their cases and issue a ruling on Dred Miranda, kill two birds with one stone. Slaves don’t need no steenkeeng Miranda warnings, ’cause they ain’t got no steenkeeng rights.
I must have been asleep in history class when we talked about Exxon/Mobil signing the Declaration Of Independence. I can already hear the bags of cash being dropped off by Massey Energy.
Beautiful day today,but Thursday day and night were a bugger – big wind, small tornadoes, and 24+ hours of constant rain. Texas won’t see my ass for a long time.
Gorgeous here today in bombtown. Spent much of the day with my feet attached to long sticks up in the mountains.
http://labikes.blogspot.com/2010/01/support-your-local-ski-club.html
Just happy to be over here in It’ly with a slow ‘net connection, no TV and only La Gazzetta dello Sport and Italian bike mags to read. Getting more and more detached from the chaos in the US of A. My wife’s explanation for everthing seems especially true for the USA….”people are stupid.” Who was the guy who said “democracy is a terrible form of government, it’s just better than the other forms?” or something like that. Weather report — gray skies today as we wait for the furnace repair man to show up — the landlord’s friend it turns out — which makes me think I’ll be going down to the local store and coming back with an electric space heater sooner rather than later….
I have a buddy who clerked for a guy who clerked for a guy named Scalia. And she told me I just don’t have the legal, judicial, and constitutional education to really understand how complex the law is. That was her standard defense whenever I told her how full of schitt she was. ‘Cause I’m a simple mathematician, engineer, and scientist. Instead of inventing an ideology and then twisting my observations to fit it, I try to look first and assess second.
And this is a classic example of how full of schitt the Supremes are these days. Scalia, the most vocal proponent of originalism, has now used a definition to that our Founding Fathers never conceived to determine that a particular bill was extra-constitutional. Sorry, but that’s only logical to someone who believes ideology comes first, and facts and reality will follow.
Concur in your minority opinion, Steve.
Hey … there’s a certain VeloNewser living up there in the great wide open of Wyoming who now has a law degree. Would love to hear his take on this decision.
Are Supreme Court justices (well five of them) totally blind to the ramifications of Corporate Collectivism? Maybe they’re not blind to it at all.
With my aluminum beanie firmly chinstrapped in place, I declare that there is a conspiracy to have school children in America grow up to be dependent adults. We don’t really want kids to be curious. We don’t want them to have the academic tools to find scientific answers to their questions. We want kids to mindlessly repeat corporate/religious/political ideology, or at least buy more shit without thinking about what they’re doing to their budgets. That’s what keeps America great.
There are a hundred, maybe a hundred and fifty CEOs out there who can do our thinking for us right now. We just need to remember that. Thank God they’ve finally accumulated enough money to buy the Supreme Court. It took long enough.
So, in about a hundred years, our country will consolidate to just three giant corporations. Two will always be fighting the third with allegiances changing after each quarterly report. Haven’t I already read this book? I think I know how it ends.
To celebrate my victory over myself, and to declare my love for Big Brother, Inc., I’m going to read “A Message to Garcia” and polish up my resume. I will get a job with a company that is too big to fail. I will teach my daughter to do the same.
And I will look to my mid-level manager for personal guidance.
I’m signing off forever from you Proles (’cause that’s what my corporate headhunter told me to do).
While we’re discussing prescient cartoonists, let’s not forget the wonderful Dan O’Neill (“Odds Bodkins”), who once set the sun and the moon to chatting thusly:
Sun: “What is this ‘absolute truth’ thing?”
Moon: “It’s a five-to-four decision in the Supreme Court.”
Meanwhile, I vote that we all move to Italy and take up residence with Larry. The Italians have proved conclusively that anarchy works. Just think, an ex-pat community of fat-bastard bicyclists in the land of vino and pasta. I bet we’d all be croaked of overtraining and/or liver disease in a year. But what a way to go. …
Patrick:
Absolutely! I’m in.
Larry T–thanks for lettin’ us barge in on such short notice.
Yep, the Italians are one class act after another, ain’t that right Mr. Berlusconi? What other country could go from a porn star to a media conglomerate whore as ‘smoothly’ as Italy? Add to that the the largest bit of news out of Milan recently was the Davey Becks got felt up by some TV ho while he was “doing an interview.” Keep that class coming Italy…..
Ten days of rain in Northern Cali. Sour weather makes for sour moods.
I’ll take the Italian version of class vs pretty much anywhere else — you can see our tiny apartment on our Travel Blog http://cycleitalia.blogspot.com/ barely enough room for yours truly and the wife so I’ll probably have to limit the visitors to those who can take up very little space on the floor. PS–Berlusconi wasn’t a porn star (though he probably would relish the role) but a cruise ship crooner…kinda like that Ronnie-Ray-Guns guy in the US…and to my thinking, just as terrible as a leader.
Whoa, James … not so sure you can blame that rant on just the rain.
“Media whore” — isn’t that redundant?
To be totally fair, he said “media conglomerate whore” and he followed the porn star as PM. I can’t believe he left out that bit about choosing the wrong side in World War Version 2.0. He also left out Fiat!
Well, I kinda like the eye-tals….but then I like Crapanolo too.
It’s kinda like if Rupert Murdoch became the prez of the US. Silvio owns most of the TV and newspaper plus the big football club in Milan. But right-wingnuts here are not the same as in the New World. Not everyone likes him of course, some wacko beaned him recently with a replica of Milan’s famous Duomo. But Italians throughout history have been governed (oppressed?) by just about everyone over the years but they somehow keep making and enjoying the best food, wine, cars (Ferrari, etc.) bicycles and lots of other stuff. Someone once explained that despite all the war and governments falling the Italians still produced all this great art, music, etc. while folks like the Swiss enjoyed centuries of peace and prosperity — and gave us what….the cuckoo clock? I’m REALLY starting to like it over here, Italians even have healthcare! Sadly our visa expires at the end of the summer and we’ll have to go back to the land of obesity, Sarah Palin and fast food — but for now I’m in heaven!
Larry: As much as I like watching the ‘beautiful game’ and the boys at AC Milan are good (Becks maybe on a good day…) I don’t know if I would say that they are “the big football club in Milan.” Okay…maybe I would….but Inter is not chopped liver btw. And you are most undoubtedly correct that the Italians have produced so many wonderful things (I’d beg to differ on the cars part though – Fiats, Alfa and Ferraris are not known to be ‘reliable’) it is amazing to think that as a country/culture they SHOULD (by all rights) complain about the crap they have had to deal with…but they rarely utter a peep. And look at them…. Here in ‘merica we complain about everything and look what it gets us?! In a sense, we’re the French, while the Italians are the Italians.
Thus, it is nice to know that there are better things that we could be doing, but also that there could be much worse that we might have to deal with. Grazie.
I must admit to caring about football (soccer to US folks)only when the Italian national team is playing — otherwise I pay little attention to sports using sticks and balls. I never said anything about reliability being a part of Italian automobiles though I have to say I’ve rented many a Fiat here and prefer them to any of the Asian cars whose door handles spark against the road in the slightest tight curve! Never had a modern Fiat, Alfa or Lancia conk out and leave me stranded (yet). One of the biggest differences I notice here vs the New World is Italians generally prefer to enjoy just a few bites of something REALLY good instead of a whole plate of mediocre food. It’s all about QUALITY rather than quantity. When I come up with some things I truly hate about being here I’ll write about ’em..but after spending the summer here for more than 20 years, I have yet to come up with any….but I’ll keep trying!