The Universe is trying to kill me. Yesterday I got caught in a snow-slash-sleet storm while out for a short ride and today I nearly got drilled twice in two blocks by distracted drivers doing California rolls on stop signs.
Further along an elderly woman nearly took off my left hand with her passenger-side mirror while trying to beat me to a stop sign as I was signaling a left turn. And finally an inattentive laborer carrying a long aluminum ladder almost batted me out of a bike lane and into a passing car.
Well, you don’t have to warn me more than three or four times. I sped straight for home and stayed there. But I don’t feel much safe indoors. You will recall what happened to Arthur Pewtey at the marriage guidance counselor’s office.
Mad Blog Media 
“Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun”
soon the midday sun’ll melt all this snow and the safety of the trails’ll return
So are you Arthur Pewtey or the guy who ends up with Carol Cleveland????
Keep it safe out there, O’G. We need your humor in these dark times. Well, maybe not that ‘dark’ but the humor we DO need.
It’s dangerous out there but don’t most folks meet their end while sleeping in bed? Here in Italy, the biggest danger is the “microcar”..the glorified lawn-tractors sold to old folks and an increasing number of kids since you don’t need a license — they’re tagged like a scooter or moped. Out-of-the box the top speed is a max of 50 kph, but that’s enough to do plenty of harm to the average cyclist when the Italian Mr. Magoo is at the helm! Worse, kids are having theirs hopped-up (which is easy to do and carries a tiny fine to the hop-up shop if caught)and killing themselves in these things. A few years back I was almost taken out when Magoo swerved left towards me while trying to get into the driveway of a graveyard….if yours truly hadn’t swerved to the left (rather than right) he would quite likely been a resident of the same graveyard…and Magoo never even saw me!
Seriously? A ladder? Were you riding so fast, you broke the space-time continuum and wound up in a Marx Brothers movie?
That will teach you to go out without a point-ed stick for defense.
I didn’t encounter the Banana Fiend, get to rub up against Carol or swap quips with Groucho, but the ladder guy was for real. Jeebus. Wotta day. I can’t wait until we get Magoomobiles here.
Ahhhh…Carol Cleveland. Yep, here is the skit.