The view from the Sheraton

The view from the Sheraton, where we most assuredly did not stay. We got a nice shiatsu massage there, though, thanks to one of Herself's co-workers.

Boy, can we pick a vacation time and place or what? Herself and I celebrated her birthday this past week by jetting across the water to the Big Island just in time for Kilauea to erupt, the tsunami to strike and Hawaii to achieve the dubious honor of becoming the first state to see its gas prices top $4 per gallon, according to The Los Angeles Times. (Yeah, we had a rental car, a robin’s-egg-blue Mustang that was not exactly a fuel-sipper, and we were buying go-juice in the four-and-a-quarter range.)

Aside from that, the trip barely registered on the Suck-O-Meter®. Deep blue water, beaches in your choice of black, white or green sand, and good eats — what’s to bitch about?

Besides the friggin’ chickens, that is. Sonsabitches never button their beaks. Sunrise to sunset and all points in between it’s “Err err err err ERRRR!” Repeat until the vacationing haoles go batshit.

More words and pictures later, if I can remember where I packed my head. We’ve been up for about 30 hours straight, flying from the Big Island to San Francisco to Denver to Bibleburg. Don’t even ask where that left the needle on the Suck-O-Meter®, especially the final 15-minute leg.

But for a change the Vomit Comet was dialed down to minimal fear factor, so even that wasn’t as bad as I’ve seen it. We don’t call it the Vomit Comet for nothin’, Bubba.

• Late update: Happy trails to Owsley Stanley, who died Sunday at age 76. I never sampled his five-star product, but word on the street was that it made the shit we were eating in the late Sixties/early Seventies look like a short dog of Thunderbird in a crumpled paper bag parked next to a dusty bottle of Chateau d’Yquem 1929.

7 Responses to “Aloha”

  1. Bruce M Says:

    A friend of mine lived for four years in Kona on the Big Island. Those chickens drove him-a Pacifist-to buy a pellet gun…. ‘Nuff said! As for me, I am stuck here in the rain of the Pacific NorthWet. Welcome back. We missed you.

  2. Doug G. Says:

    Did you and the Mrs. get any bike riding in? I’ll bet it’s a nice place to ride.

  3. Khal Spencer Says:

    “…best shit I ever took…” quote from someone who will remain nameless when I mentioned that Owsley Stanley is no more.

    Hah. We lived in Kalama Valley, a completely haole-fied location on Oahu. Go just around the bend into Waimanalo, though, and the chickens (and occasional peacock) were everywhere.

    Damn, O’G. You got the volcano and the ocean to both greet you with their blessings at the same time. Be damned if anyone I know could do that.

    Did you get over to Roy’s?

  4. Libby Says:

    Happy Birthday to Herself. Glad you had a great time in Hawaii. You celebrate a birthday this month, too. Where will you spend your birthday?

  5. bromasi Says:

    How dare you go off to get sun and fun while we sit getting cold and wet, get back here and get to work.

    ahhh shit have fun

  6. Larry T. Says:

    EVERYBODY should take a nice vacation each year (from a purveyor of vacations, natch!) though Hawaii isn’t high on my list. Been twice and the in-laws try to get us to join them each year but as everyone knows, we prefer going the other direction — to Italy. Glad to see OG had a less-than-sucky time and he’s back to “work” with new inspiration? I think we all hope the Japan nuke situation gets resolved with less-than-Chernobyl effects.

  7. chris Says:

    Hama nama kama po kaka o.

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