At play in the fields of the Lord

Spring rain

Finally, a little help with the lawn-watering program around here.

We got a very welcome spring rain last night. The sound of the lawn, shrubs and trees cheering (“Yaaaaayyyy!!!) kept us up all night long.

Or perhaps that was the shit monsoon, which continues unabated in DeeCee, where the Tinfoil Beanie Party continues to hone its management philosophy, taken from the manifesto “Everything I Know About Getting My Way I Learned in Kindergarten.” What a shower of bastards we have sent to the nation’s capital.

And how God must chuckle when He looks down to see His monkeys at play, screeching and flinging dung at one another. Kind of makes You wish You hadn’t taken that seventh day off, eh, Big Fella? You could’ve used it to perform a little quality-control check on your most famous product.

15 Responses to “At play in the fields of the Lord”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    Well said, Patrick. He really needed to have done a QA/QC check on that first week’s work. We’ve been paying for it ever since.

  2. barry Says:

    Yeah…he also should have tweaked the reproductive capabilities and found a way to institute some form of intelligence exam to pass in order to procreate.

  3. khal spencer Says:

    Unfortunately, modern civilization has made it too hard to win the Darwin Award. If anything, all this education some of us squander on ourselves results in us being too old, feeble, and exhausted to reproduce when we are finally set up and tenured (or whatever). Meanwhile, the knuckle-draggers are breeding like rabbits.

    Civilization is doomed.

  4. BenS Says:


    Surely there is no God. If there is it/she/he surely hates us and all living things.

  5. Patrick O'Grady Says:

    Gents, I seem to have tapped a reserve of hopelessness. Can we refine it somehow and burn it in our cars? I have places to go, people to see.

  6. BenS Says:


    The only solution to our hopelessness is to ride.

    While each weekend (for those of us with 9-5 type jobs) offers a small dose of salvation, it usually wears off Monday morning.

    True, true salvation requires a long term goal needing practice and repetition to achieve the level of worth that can redeem poor sad sacks like us.

    A goal with bikes and panniers and a trailer carrying beer and wine wandering the desert.

    But then, you know what Larry’s wife says….

    It’ll be a good article for Adventure Cycling

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      On the nosey, Ben. I think these bike reviews I’m doing for Adventure Cyclist are partly a means for finding The Way Out for a little while.

      When I was a kid I cycled everywhere. As a college student/dropout, likewise, but with a backpack. As a young employed adult, I managed to get by with whatever fit in the back of a Japanese pickup truck. As a geezer … don’t ask. The mothership from “Close Encounters” couldn’t hold all our crap.

      So, yeah. The right bike, the right accoutrements, the right legs, the right time. But even lacking a 9-5, Monday-Friday gig, I’d have to find digital oases along the way to transmit my nonsense for fun and profit.

      Plus there are the cats to consider, to say nothing of Herself, who has been known to lash out with the sharp edge of her tongue when someone (ahem) is not carrying his fair share of the load.

      Larry’s wife would have something to say about that, I feel certain.

    • khal spencer Says:

      Amen, Ben. Praise the Lord of the Hoops and all his cycling angels.

  7. Larry T. Says:

    What? You imply that yours truly is not carrying his share of the burden?! In good years CycleItalia (where I do all the donkey-work) makes more than the wife does at the college — in not-so-good years it provides an excuse to spend the summer in Italy. Though for me that’s win-win, I try to compensate by doing the laundry, grocery shopping and (sort of) cleaning up our modest shack now and then while she does research into the philosophy of sport or tries to get 18 year-old kids to think for themselves at the college.
    But why she keeps me around when I constantly rant, “why the f__k do people let this happen?” while reading the newspaper or watching the news on TV, only to get her classic three-word reply, is truly a mystery –like the reason OG’s wife continues to let him share the house with her and the cats!
    I DO believe the Repuglicans are headed for disaster from the Tea Party/KKK influence. These whackos think “King Bankruptcy” Donnie Trump would make a good prez, for pietro’s sake! I think the regular folks are starting realize they’ve been had and will stop the advance of the right-wingers (at least for awhile) starting with the 2012 elections. We’ll be back to vote then but with some luck get back to Italy before anyone is sworn in! We have a few places left on guided tours for 2011 and of course we’re ALWAYS happy to set you up with your own self-guided adventure — and if you never come back to the US of A, we won’t blame you much.

  8. khal spencer Says:

    Larry, I have ultimate admiration for Heather. Anyone who accepts an academician’s salary (tenured or not) in the humanities in return for taking on the task of trying to get the next generation to think for itself deserves our respect, admiration, and greenbacks. Besides, like Shannon and Meena, she puts up with a cyclist….

    And to Hell with the Governor of Wisconsin.

  9. bromasi Says:

    Life sucks then you don’t die, you wake up as a repug.

  10. Larry T. Says:

    I tell folks she has the toughest job in the world – not only trying to get 18 year-old kids to think for themselves but living with me as well! She has no problem with being married to a “cyclist” as she was a far better racer than I ever was. For more on that use this link
    As with most real bike racers, she didn’t care too much about the mechanical duties of keeping her bikes running well — so I’m happy to take that job. I let her do the cooking though, she’s way better than me in that category too.
    Who’s gonna win Paris-Roubaix on Sunday? I’m hoping Boonen can pull it off again.

  11. Patrick O'Grady Says:

    Ah, yes, the long-suffering womenfolk. Herself just returned from a two-day stint at a library confab in Little Pittsburgh — Pueblo, Colorado — a place I know all too well, having once worked for what the owner (but hardly anyone else) claims is a newspaper.

    While she was busting her hump I was playing with the cats, riding the Jamis in various configurations and trying to hurt myself on a couple of recumbents over at Angletech just, like, ’cause. This is not exactly heavy lifting.

    Then after her two days of heaven she had to come home to me. This is not much like coming home to Daniel Day Lewis or George Clooney, who rarely if ever squat in a living room full of bike parts next to a kitchen full of dirty dishes, puzzling out a German manual describing the installation of a handlebar bag (“First, invade Poland. …”).

    • BenS Says:


      As an escaped academic I too wonder why my wife puts up with me. Shannon has explained OG’s particular attraction.

      The rest of have to get by on our steady (plodding?) provider based personalities.

      Yeah, Boonen on Sunday.

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