Return of the Interbiker: Bibleburg to Flagstaff

Bibleburg in the rear-view mirror

The obligatory shot of Bibleburg receding at speed in the rear-view mirror.

FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Whenever I take one of these journalistic road trips I quickly come to wish I’d gone into another line of work. Like, say, the manufacture and distribution of orange traffic cones.

I don’t believe I’ve ever driven Interstate 40 when it wasn’t under construction, and today this record remains intact. If only I’d had the foresight to major in traffic cones instead of journalism! With double minors in orange barrels and orange signs, of course. I could buy the 2012 elections, and wouldn’t that be interesting. Maybe not.

Cerrillos in Santa Fe was a construction clusterfuck, too. It was something of a struggle to enjoy my evening ales at Second Street Brewery, my breakfast burrito at Tia Sophia and a leisurely soak at Ten Thousand Waves. But I got them all done, and in that precise order, because I know that you, Dear Readers, expect nothing less than perfection in recreation from Your Humble Narrator.

Now I’m at a Motel 6 in Flagstaff and wishing I’d fetched a piece along, as per my usual practice. The place has backslid along with the economy and I’m pretty sure there is at least one flatbacker working the joint alongside the usual collection of chain-smoking toothless weirdos, grinning ax murderers and illegals camping 12 to a room. But there is wifi, so we have that going for us. I can webcast a digital appeal for help as the serial killers dismember me in front of my own webcam.

Meanwhile, I ignored the national slobbering over the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. I didn’t hear anyone mention their most chilling effect — turning us into a nation of cheapjack, chickenshit bullies who wiped our collective asses with our own Constitution and then set about roaming the globe, shoving that stained document into brown people’s faces.

Instead I listened to a nonstop collection of Tom Waits CDs: Real Gone, Blood Money, Mule Variations, Small Change and Alice. Now I have a party in my head and an idea for a fireworks display.

Tomorrow: Vegas. Pray for me.

6 Responses to “Return of the Interbiker: Bibleburg to Flagstaff”

  1. Khal Spencer Says:

    Cerrillos has been an ongoing clusterfuck, Patrick. We do an end run around it every chance we get. Sorry you had to endure it, but we locals have been doing it indefinitely. But the beer and burritos, not to mention looking at some of the pretty women in The City Different make up for it.

    Can’t say anything about Ten Thousand Waves. I’ve regressed to the point where even my dogs laugh when I undress to bathe. God help me if other people could actually see and talk. Does TTW have a bath house for the blind?

    Concur on the 9-11 stuff. Much was made about warding off a ten year anniversary attack. But I suspect al-Fido is laughing all the way to the bank having made us spend god knows how much borrowed money warding off a bluff. Not to mention, we continue to erode our own principles in pursuit of who the hell knows what while we wipe our asses with the Constitution.

    Stop by some time on the way back up US 84/285, brah. Before they arrest us both for political libel.

    • Boz Says:

      I, too, agree that this bombastic 9/11 crap is out of hand. Seems to be aimed at making us remember the “reason” we went ape-shit and unleashed the dogs of war. That was what Al Kinda wanted in the first place, to see us lose our minds and and not use our minds to take care of business. Ten years to track down the big boss? Shit, A&E could have sent Dog the Bounty Hunter and had him cuffed and in the back of the pick-up in one episode. Well,maybe it would have been a two parter – ya know, for the ratings. And it’s all about the ratings, as we all know.

  2. BenS Says:

    A tragedy on two levels. Lives lost due solely to hate and the enshrinement of idiotocracy.

  3. md anderson Says:

    We too have learned all the end-arounds Cerrillos Road to avoid the cone zone. Can’t see that all this is going to help much except reduce the flooding during the monsoons. Some of the so called “puddles” along that road could hide a VW or two.

    And jeepers Patrick, don’t you still know enough folks around these parts to cadge a bed and a brew??

  4. Charley Says:

    Nice succinct summary of the 9/11 bullshit anniversary.
    Vegas won’t recover until sometime after the California recovery!

  5. Something might be gaining on you | Mad Blog Media Says:

    […] I didn’t have much to say on the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, and a decade further on down the road I feel even less inclined to hold forth on the topic. A bunch of people got dead, maimed, or insane; another bunch got rich, famous, and powerful; and the rest of us went shopping. […]

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