Honky if you love Romney

Jockeying for position in the presidential contest.

The RomneyBot v2.012 mistook President Obama for one of its gardeners and tried to fire him yesterday.

“Take your campaign of division and anger and hate back to Chicago and let us get about rebuilding and reuniting America,” it hummed.

The only word missing from that sentence was “boy.”

“Campaign of division and anger and hate?” Romney and the Rethugs have called Obama everything save a bone-nosed, watermelon-eatin’ lawn jockey and yet the prez manages to refrain from calling his opponent a lying sack of runny chickenshit whose tongue has more plastic forks than a Salt Lake City Chick-fil-A.

I still have no idea why this slimy prick wants the job he seems to need so desperately. And I’ll never find out by listening to him, because the truth is simply not in him and the media seem unwilling or unable to squeeze it out of him. Doesn’t he already own a couple of white houses?

Jesus wept. The squawk of a Jersey Giant and the balls of a parakeet. Are there any men left in the Republican Party? Besides Ann Coulter, that is?

15 Responses to “Honky if you love Romney”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    “…Besides Ann Coultier, that is?”

    Priceless, O’G. Priceless.

  2. Larry T. Says:

    Atta boy O’G! Mittens wants the top job because it’s the ONLY thing he doesn’t already own! As someone much more clever than yours truly said about Romney – “all the noblesse but none of the oblige”. If the Repuglicans keep this up I might have to send another contribution to the Obama campaign.

  3. High Plains Drifters Says:

    Doesn’t bother me that Rmoney is stupid.

    But it’s pissing me off that he thinks we are, too.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Aye, there’s the rub. Is there anything worse than interviewing a candidate for a job and having him high-hat you? “I’m sorry, Mr. Romney, but you appear to be overqualified … in the sense that you need a job in the same way that you need a few more offshore accounts. Please to piss off now. Next?”

  4. High Plains Drifters Says:

    Our media has no idea what their job is. Everyone’s eating up this fair and balanced, present both sides horse hockey. But the truth doesn’t have two sides.

    Dude on Fresh Air this morning was slinging the GOP line about voter fraud and how stamping it out was a national imperative. There was no one particular line that he said that was patently false in and of itself. but the aggregate of his argument was not mathematically supportable. He was basically claiming that preventing 1000 people from voting in order to stop one case of voter fraud was a worthwhile endeavor. And the sub host did an okay job of keeping the facts straight, but he just didn’t have it in him to call bullshit on his numbers.

    It’s cool seeing guys like Nate Silver getting steady work. But every news outlet needs a numbers guy to provide a mathematical azimuth check on a story’s trajectory.

    • High Plains Drifters Says:

      The serious bullshit was his explanation of the dude who said, at a GOP fundraiser, that voter fraud laws would hand Pennsylvania to Romney. He tried to claim that the margin of victory was the same as the number of voter fraud cases. But voter fraud involving voters casting votes under someone else’s name account for about 0.000003% of the vote. That’s the kind of horse shit i hear go unchallenged every time i watch network news.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Our current national discourse, or the lack thereof, as refereed by The Media, reminds me of a graf from a Jim Harrison novel, “Sundog.”

      “Early in my career I had interviewed a number of famous sporting and political figures, and it was difficult to decide which produced the maximum emetic effect — the narcissistic athletes, one of whom frequently beat off in the showers after an successful contest until an injury turned him into the eight-year-old he always was, or those android parrots that pass muster as public servants. An important interview blew up when I finally said, ‘I’m going to make a preemptive strike and call you a lying crook and asshole, sir.’ That brief moment of victory, however, didn’t make up for years of boozy pressrooms and sodden by-lines.”

      The problem with the Fourth Estate these days is that covering the news takes balls and bucks in equal measures, and both are scarce in a business that values investors more than readers and viewers. They think we’re stupid, we prove it by gobbling their bullshit as though it were chicken cacciatore, and then we’re shocked — shocked! — that the menu tilts toward bullshit and away from something one might actually wish to consume.

  5. Flahute Says:

    For the record, there are 8 Chick-Fil-A’s in the Salt Lake Valley, population 1.1 million (1 CFA for every 137,000 people).

    There are 5 Chick-Fil-A’s in Bibleburg, population 470,000 (1 CFA for every 94,000 people).

    Sorry … I get a little defensive about my adopted home sometimes …

  6. David G Green Says:

    Pot calling the kettle black here, Mr. O’Grady. You’re berating “the media” while repeatedly making biased, inflamatory remarks about Romney. I don’t like him either, but Obama has his faults too. Our menu choices are like a big steam table of different types of feces, and you’re raising a ruckus that there’s a chunk of peanut in the cow manure.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      It’s my kitchen, Mr. Green. I don’t pretend to be objective here. I think Romney is a privileged liar and fool who was spared the tender mercies of social Darwinism by having a rare moment of clarity (choosing his parents wisely).

      I too have problems with Obama, and with the two-party system. But until we come up with something better, I’m gonna have to go with the shit sammich that has a little less shit in it.

      • Larry T. Says:

        Same here O’G. I laughed when Mittens explained that in most years he paid around 13% in taxes, like it was such a burden! I don’t think he’s stupid, just clueless as to how real folks live in the same way Bushie Sr. was. The TV spots about Mitty “starting a business, making ends meet” creates visions of Romney with his file box of envelopes, making ends meet by moving a billion here, a billion there, firing a few thousand people one day, hiring a legion of secretaries the next….this guy has ZERO idea of how the 99% live. This election is rapidly boiling down to a vote for the 1% or the 99%…how can even the stupidest KK…oops… TEA Party voter not get it?

    • High Plains Drifters Says:


      O’G can take care of himself, but I can’t help but chime in on the logic behind your point.

      He never said that the media was too mean, or too snarky, or even too biased. Hardly a pot/kettle situation — apples and oranges would be more appropriate.

      Best I can tell, his comments on the media focus more on whether they’re asking the right questions, how often they let the candidate dictate the narrative instead of calling bullshit, and the news chiefs who put the pablum up first while the guys who know how to write (like good old Charles P Pierce) are footnotes in the national dialog.

      I’m not sure how you equate any of that to his being too mean for your taste. Those venn diagrams don’t overlap.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Señores, our media have largely abandoned their main duty, which should be to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

        Alas, a free press is expensive, and today the Fourth Estate is more responsive to investors than to the public it purports to serve.

        The folks raised on TV depictions of journalists think that digging up the news is not unlike digging potatoes out of gravy.

        Not so much, actually. It takes time, talent, dedication, long hours and money that isn’t spent on fluff pieces about how Paul Ryan hunts elk with his X-ray eyes.

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