Storm of the century!


I’ve seen bigger blizzards at Dairy Queen.

Or not.

A meteorologist must feel kinship with the Denver Broncos on a day like today. First, the big buildup — and then, the even bigger letdown.

We’ve not given up hope for a little moisture, mind you. The National Weather Service is still predicting snow showers, but the dumper has been dialed back to a dribble. And if this wind keeps up it will all end up in northeastern New Mexico anyway.

Naturally, the schools are all closed. Small wonder the nation’s supply of idiots is constantly on the rise.

When I was a sprout they wouldn’t close the schools if they were on fire and full of serial killers. And we had to walk to school, uphill both ways, in the snow. Real snow! Not this global-warming shit that looks like a drunk redneck took half a can of white Krylon to his plastic Christmas tree.

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35 Responses to “Storm of the century!”

  1. Stan Thomas Says:

    “Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o’clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.”

    (Usual stuff about copyright etc.)

  2. khal spencer Says:

    Its snowing here, but the Krylon variety. But some moisture is better than what we have had all winter, which is to say its been dryer than a popcorn fart, to quote my late lab technician Crail Hammond. RIP.

    True nuff on the old daze. We once made a snow fort in a six foot drift in front of our house and carved a window facing up the street so we could huddle there while waiting for the school bus. One day the bus slid sideways towards us on icy pavement and we all held our breath. No cowards or slackards in those days.

    p.s. Good choice of skits.

    • md anderson Says:

      Down the hill here we’ve had little spits of rain off and on all morning. But we just had a boom of thunder and pea-size hail. What we really need is a two-day, steady, soaking rain.

  3. khal spencer Says:

    Good timing on the skit, seeing as the Iron Lady, aka “take away their school milk” Maggie Thatcher just checked out.

  4. John Says:

    Grand Junction is seeing a mostly cloudy day. I thought I felt a rain drop, but it might have been the neighbor watering his lawn. Ah yes, this reminds me of those snow days I had growing up in San Diego.

    On the subject of “The Iron Bitch”, what is it with so many people who the day before yesterday wouldn’t have hesitated to call her as much, and proudly, but the day after she checks out they’re full of praise and fond reminiscences? She was a bitch when she was alive, the only difference now is that we can speak of her in the past tense.

    • khal spencer Says:

      You would like this, John.

      • John Says:

        You’re right, Khal, I do like it. There’s some good ol’ ranting there, damn near on a par with what I get here and with the English Beat and Elvis Costello too!

        To be honest, back in the Maggie days I was too busy worrying about what Ronnie Rayguns was going to do to us to notice what Thatcher was up to. I knew she was distracting the masses by having at war with a South American country over a guano covered shit hole in the middle of nowhere; but with Ronnie making jokes about bombing the Ruskies and being forced to register for the draft, I had other things on my mind.

        Good thing none of our leaders ever started an unnecessary war and we solved that whole class warfare thing a while back.

  5. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    60 MPH gusts here yesterday afternoon and evening. One tenth inch rain with the snow level about 6500 feet.

    I have a bad back and am in foul mood. I am not fit to be around today. Bye until things improve.

  6. Debby Says:

    Not much snow here in Boulder County either. That’s just fine with me – I was NOT looking forward to shoveling a food of heavy wet snow!

  7. Debby Says:

    Oops. That was supposed to be a “foot” of snow. 🙂 Me no type gud today.

  8. md anderson Says:

    I can’t believe not one of the baby boomer guys who hang around here (or our beloved host) has had any comment on our favorite Mouseketeer.

    • khal spencer Says:

      Caught that on NPR and the NY Times, MD. I didn’t realize she had MS.

      Nice lady, but I was never a fan of Mickey Mouse or beach blanket bingo movies. I was a sickeningly serious kid, spending my time listening to shortwave radio and reading books that got me kicked out of the school library for being too serious for a kid. In retrospect, one has all of one’s life to be serious.

      • Patrick O'Brien Says:

        I was a kid with a well used shortwave radio/record player combo console, thrown out by a neighbor. I rescued it from the curb, replaced the tubes that didn’t glow, strung a long wire antenna from my bedroom window to the telephone pole in the back yard, and the world came through it.

    • Downhill Bill Says:

      Ooohh, yeah. Annette may have had a “squeaky-clean image”, but that label did not apply to our fantasies involving her!

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      MD, I’ve been opposed to all things Disney since the Mouse shat all over Dan O’Neill and the Air Pirates.

      Besides, I was bent even then. I preferred an anarchist Warner Bros. cartoon to the simpering conformists of the Mouse clubbers.

      • Larry T. Says:

        I too thought Disney was mostly sleazy manipulation of kids, bailing out on Disneyland at a young age with the exception of going there to pull pranks like stamping on ketchup and mustard packets while running through crowds. Annette WAS cute though…as if the Disney folks didn’t know that.

  9. Steve O Says:

    One of the iPhone weather apps has a national outlook video that always shows prevailing wind conditions. And it invariably it looks like Denver is the center of one big toilet bowl, and a hyperactive three-year-old with ADHD keeps flushing.

    When I used to live in western Maryland, well if you wanted to know the weather with pinpoint accuracy, you just looked at Columbus, OH, and added three days. Out here though, you don’t know which of the four directions your weather’s coming from. It can start in the Pacific, the Yukon, or the Gulf of Mexico, and the mountains can either sap the strength out of it or build it up exponentially.

    One of these days Channel 7 will just replace their weather people with a couple of wooly caterpillars.

    • Steve O Says:

      No shit, I’m looking across the street right now, and the house across the street has a flag blowing south, but two houses down you see a flag blowing north.

    • John Says:

      I’m surprised that at least one of the Front Range TV stations hasn’t replaced their Prozac-doped weather guy/girl/thing with a “weather wheel”, a sort of roulette wheel with all sorts of weather written on it. Spin the wheel, get the forecast!

      I think one of the Freakonomics books or radio programs did a story on weather forecasts versus random weather prediction in Iowa. Guess which one was more accurate.

      • Steve O Says:

        Never saw the Freakonomics version but Nate Silver covered it. National weather service is “right” (with a generous fudge factor) around 98% of the time. But the TV guys come in around 75%, because — presumably for ratings purposes — they overplay bad weather. If they lead with “clear skies,” you tune out in zero-point-seven seconds, where as if you hear “hail warning” first, you’ll stick around until the end

      • John Says:

        Good point, Steve O, about adding sensationalism to the evening weather report. Whoda thunk it? (Actually, now that you point it out it’s pretty obvious.)

        Here’s the story from the Freakonomics web site (and it was Missouri not Iowa):

        But here’s the part I thought was most interesting:
        “…consider that if a meteorologist always predicted that it would never rain, they would be right 86.3 percent of the time. So if a viewer was looking for more certainty than just assuming it will not rain, a successful meteorologist would have to be better than 86.3 percent. Three of the forecasters were about 87 percent at one day out — a hair over the threshold for success. Other than that, no forecaster is ever better than just assuming it won’t rain.”

        And the one reason I ever had for watching the local news goes up in flames thanks to statistics.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      After I quit newspapering in 1991 I quit watching TV news. It was never a mainstay, just something an editor kinda-sorta had to keep an eye on, for those rare instances in which the One Big Eye actually served up a bit of news (the newsroom TV was always on during a natural or unnatural disaster, like a shuttle explosion or presidential election).

      It was tough to tell which segment of the local TV news had the most clowns, but in most markets it seemed to be weather, sports and news, in that order.

  10. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    Had a nice lunch with a Peroni draft. I am now half human to steal a line from American Flyers.
    Then I read about the turtle from KY being mad about getting caught digging trash instead of talking issues, and I think I would rather be burning shit barrels in SE Asia.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      That story was a howler. It’s like getting popped for B&E and charging that the property owner’s burglar alarm violates a noise ordinance.

      • Patrick O'Brien Says:

        Bibleburg is 9 degrees this morning! Is Mr. Boo frozen to the hydrant out front?

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        The Boo loves him some cold weather. God only knows why. I took him out twice during our snowless blizzard and the little bastard was galloping along like a pit-bull puppy who got into his owner’s meth stash.

        Now me, I was freezing my nuts off and remembering why I have become a cat person.

      • khal spencer Says:

        We got a couple or three inches of heavy white stuff yesterday (snow, not meth) and Molly, the newest wondermutt in the house, was running around the fields like she was on a mix of steroids and uppers. First snow we have had down here in Bombtown since December. I even had to clear the deck, and made sure I piled the snow around the trees in the front yard. I could hear them begging for the moisture.

  11. Boz Says:

    Looks like we have 4-7 inches of slushy crap coming our way here in DulMn. At least the contractor got all the new windows installed before it hits. 18 windows in and 2 doors on Thursday. These guys are doing exemplary work under a low interest loan via our local socialist One Roof housing program. The high winds will be a good test.

  12. Traileur Parque Cycliste Says:

    I don’t know what you guys are talking about. It was seventy-five and clear today and I broke my own rule about riding my road bike on the beach. I get that Colorado is beautiful and I enjoyed the hell out of my time there. But I rode my bike on the beach today.

    Then I went over to the river and sat down with a Fosters and watched the boats head up the Intracoastal. A square rigger went by. Not a replica, I don’t think, it was just…a square rigged sailing vessel, hermaphrodite rig, bright red hull, maybe sixty feet. Like some guy decided to build a boat and that is what came out of the shop.

    I had NPR on all afternoon, Khal, but missed the Annette story. I won’t get started on the Rat just now, I worked there for a year until I got canned in an incident involving one of those flying Dumbos. But I don’t blame Annette for that, although it is her fault that I ended up a beach bum.

    That should about cover it for now.


  13. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    Looks like a new storm brewing in Prescott, AZ. Team Sho-Air/Cannondale announced they are racing in the non-UCI/ASAC sanctioned Whisky Off-Road despite the threat of fine or suspension for UCI/USAC licensed pro or amateur riders. The team defies the rule and dares UCI to take action against the riders. Fill your hand, you sumbitch!

  14. Another storm a-brewing | Mad Blog Media Says:

    […] O’Brien notes in comments that Team Sho-Air-Cannondale plans to race Arizona’s Whisky Off-Road despite the threat of […]

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