More room for you and more room for me

You just know it’s going to be a good day when you wake up to find that no North Korean nuclear warheads cobbled together from a radium-dial Timex, bits of this and that ordered online from RadioShack, and an old Estes model rocket kit have burrowed into the front lawn, hissing and popping like one of your old Led Zep’ LPs.

Still, it’s early yet. Grampa’s birthday isn’t until Monday.

And you just know that fingers attached to irritated politicos worldwide are tapping nervously near big red buttons. It must be an awful temptation.

“Seriously, will anyone miss the little fucker? Huh? Whaddaya think? Let’s drop the big one and see what happens.”

31 Responses to “More room for you and more room for me”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    One thing these knuckleheads in NK need to understand is that once you have the bomb, the rules on shooting one’s mouth off change just a little. Kinda like that crazy drunk guy who is staggering down the street with a loaded 357 magnum and threatening bystanders. There is a strong temptation to preempt the problem.

    Maybe we ought to give The Great Leader a piece of Trinitite–both as a gift and a reminder.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinitite

    • John Says:

      Oooo, trinitite. Got any, Khal? I’d love a sample or two. We could also send the little shit some shock quartz as a gentle reminder. Might make him wonder a bit about the real reason for NASA wanting to move an asteroid into Earth orbit (“Ooops, got away from us!”). I read “The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress” too (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Moon_Is_a_Harsh_Mistress).

      Dear Leader probably won’t care, though. I suspect that if and when selected portions of the Korean Peninsula get as hot as the surface of the sun (if just for a moment), he’ll be relaxing in a bunker at an undisclosed location well inside of China. Hell, he’s probably already there.

    • grumbly oldguy Says:

      we need to remember that India & Pakistan are also members of the nuclear club. We need to be scared of a too.

  2. John Says:

    We went “toe-to-toe with the Ruskies” (ah, Major Kong, where are you when we need you most?) for years and thanks to MAD there were no hostile mushroom clouds dropped on anyone (save for the two in Japan that started off the Cold War with a bang). So what’s the big deal with Iran or Korea Poco playing with mushroom cloud laying motherfucker bombs? I mean, these countries playing with nukes do know that if they so much as toss a nuke grenade then their countries will be turned in to a radioactive wasteland worthy of a bad sci-fi movie, right?

    Or maybe not. Is the US seen as such a paper tiger that these people think they’d be able to toss a nuke or two without an equal response? Is he right? If this guy does launch a nuke, would we actually reply in kind?

    It’s tempting, yet risky, to assume that the little doughy boy running Korea Poco is just trying to get some more free rice. I got my popcorn popped, this might get interesting.

  3. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    A nuclear war on any scale would damage the world for decades as if it isn’t damaged enough enough already. Fukushima or Chernobyl ring a bell? Our latest worthless and half hearted attempts at war to fill the coffers of the 1% tempt the really bad guys into thinking we don’t have the heart to go at it big time. When you absolutely have to go to war, your need to do it fast, hard, and with devastation at the appropriate scale that makes the bad guys think who the hell pulled that lion’s tail. And you don’t talk about it before, during, or after. Obama needs to confront these two guys by inviting them to visit the White House to work it out. Put the ball in their hands and see if they can shoot. See if the real leadership behind them will allow them to go. Then if they turn him down, we got ’em. Got to go now, some asshole with a subwoofer and loud exhaust just pulled up to the light behind our house. I need to nuke the sumbitch before he leaves.

  4. Larry T. Says:

    The CHINESE are not going to let this punk set off WW3, it’s bad for biz, especially theirs. But they’re not keen on taking over the mess ala West Germany when the wall came down, either. I say throw him a bone (or a sack of rice) if that’s what it takes, while reminding his Chinese friends junior needs a talkin’ to and maybe a spanking.

    • khal spencer Says:

      I expect the sack of rice and the international recognition are what Junior really wants. War, especially nuclear war, isn’t good for the 1% here or over there. The down side is a little too far down and those gated communities don’t protect against fallout like they do against the teeming masses.

      In Arsenals of Folly, author Richard Rhodes discusses how close we came to to war with the Russians. But the two principles, Reagan and Gorbachev, both were sickened by the thought of Armageddon and were more than happy to meet each other halfway. According to Rhodes, it was their subordinates who torpedoed the process.

      Especially after Chernobyl, President Gorbachev had a Come to Jesus moment thinking about his entire nation looking like a smoldering, radioactive Pripyat.

      My concern is that it has been too long since we have had a major war and too many decades since Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Do today’s leaders have the visceral knowledge that a Gorbachev or Reagan had about a nuclear exchange or a large scale conventional war, or has it become what I fear it would have been without Hiroshima and Nagasaki: merely an abstraction.

      For those of us who grew up with Duck and Cover drills, this gets old fast.

      • Derek Lenahan Says:

        I am sure you already know but for those that don’t remember the Duck and Cover drills weren’t for protection. They were so you were in a good position to kiss your own ass goodbye.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I imagine a lot of Dear Junior’s chin music is scored for a local audience. One of the hallmarks of a fascist state is constant preparation for war to keep the proles’ minds off how much things suck around the old rancheroo. Hm, sounds kinda familiar, dunnit?

      • khal spencer Says:

        Orwell had that nailed.

      • Patrick O'Brien Says:

        Dear Junior? That’s a hoot!

      • Larry T. Says:

        One of the oldest tricks in the book, most recently used to great effect by ol’ Bush and Cheney as we all know too well.
        http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/dubiousquotes/a/caesar_quote.htm
        Still remember the scathing response I got from a letter-to-the-editor citing this in the run-up to Bush’s follies. Crackpots calling my house and sending anonymous letters trying to “straighten me out” they said, while a few said things much worse.

      • Patrick O'Brien Says:

        “When a country is in chaos, patriotism is born.”
        Tao te Ching – translation by Stephen Mitchell

        Lots of distilled down wisdom in that book.

      • Khal Spencer Says:

        “…Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword. It both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind….”

        Regardless, whoever said it sure got that one right, Larry. Fortunately, present leadership over here has not been pulling a Cheney. I suspect Dear Junior is playing for his leadership team, not the public, which is too cowed and hungry to worry much about.

  5. hurbenbHurben Says:

    http://gogeometry.com/videos/tom_lehrer_who_s_next_nuclear.htm

  6. Tim Joe Says:

    Since I live in a Trailer Park I know all about stupid shit and I wonder if maybe our black and white five major stories per day news media might not be ignorant of The Rest Of The Story. This little Bush-type dynasty child “Leader” is very evocative of the school bully who now has to fight the quiet kid who never bothers anyone but has agreed to a showdown.

    But the US ain’t the quiet kid, fellers. We’re the bully. Face it. Don’t fuck with Uncle Sam. This semi-retarded son of a son is only reacting to some bullshit we are not being told (imagine that) (WMD’S anyone?) (at least the Bushies lied to our faces…Kool Hand is way to slick for that) I have a feeling this frightened child is rattling his saber in response to some provocation that we don’t know about.

    So who is the quiet kid? The rest of us. Simple North Korean people trying to raise their families and simple American families trying to figure out what the fuck went wrong now that a month’s worth of gas equals a college tuition and meanwhile, the Whole World Is Watching (remember?)…

    I wish I could say that I am a noble revolutionary living simply off the land in protest of the oligarchy that is stealthily bereaving us of even the chance to live simply…but that ain’t it. I’m just old enough and divorced enough and poor enough to hardly give a shit anymore but since you guys are cyclists (I think) I listen to what you have to say. What I hear is followerism and patriotism and those things are lies. Righteous men think with their own brains and follow no party line. They consider the effects of their actions and also they consider that we, we, are not the only people on the planet and we also might not always be right.

    If the last ten years have proven anything, it is that we are not always right.

    I’ve been drinking whiskey since seven a.m. so I’m gonna go ahead and click “post comment”. Sorry in advance.

    tj

    • Patrick O'Brien Says:

      Wow Tim, sounds like you need a grilled cheese sandwich and a good nights sleep. When I re-read some of the comments above, I don’t think there are many followers or bumper sticker patriots hanging around here. I think all are cyclists if one kind or another; I haven’t met a cyclist that is easy to categorize politically or otherwise, and most do not like being put in a single box, especially mountain bikers. Your point about the country being a bully hits home. But, as others have pointed out on this thread, war is good for business. Let’s hope the 51 percent of the electorate who were to busy to vote in the last election finally wake up, but nothing short of a ballot box revolution will get the wanna be oligarchs currently running things out of office.

      • Tim Joe Says:

        OK

      • Tim Joe Says:

        My first wife was a Valley Girl and on Saturdays we would go to Trader Joe’s and get light rye bread, cheddar cheese and swiss cheese and bean sprouts and a tomato. We would walk home (my life before bicycles) and she would cook grilled cheese sandwiches. The best ever. Never since. One of the memories that leads to an all day drink-a-thon.

        I often offend when least I mean to. I suspect this is one of those times. I have high respect and fellowship for everyone on these pages. So much so that I spoke my mind perhaps prematurely but with absolute confidence that you could handle it. Plus maybe I took for granted that you already knew me and knew not to take me too seriously, or at least to not feel there was anything personal happening. I read between the lines, no matter how fine, and sometimes I see things that are maybe not there.

        We would also put bacon (two slices) on the grilled cheese.

        Those were, like today, damn fine Saturdays.

        tj

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        No offense taken, TJ. Bacon makes everything better. Even bacon.

      • Patrick O'Brien Says:

        Hey Tim, what Patrick said goes for me too. That grilled cheese remark just came out of the blue, although I really like them on rye with tomato. Spooky. One thing is for sure. Hanging around here always makes a bad day better.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      TJ, I’ve lived in Bibleburg on and off since 1967 (and in a Greeley trailer park during 1974-76), so I have a double Ph. D in stupid shit.

      I don’t think we get many party-line types or followers here at the DogS(h)ite. True, most of the crowd is not Republican — so far as I know, anyway — but I think most of us concur that class is more of an issue than party. For example, I don’t have any class, so nobody invites me to their parties.

      Nor do I think this is a “my country right or wrong” crowd. Plenty of antiwar types lurk and comment here, some of them retired military. And some of us have written more than one “What the fuck, dude?” note to Obama over policies both foreign and domestic.

      Some of what you perceive as “followerism and patriotism” may be simply the sort of inside-baseball, black-humor shorthand that crops up among people who spend a lot of time bullshitting with each other.

      Anyway, pop round more often, see if we seem less fascist after prolonged exposure. Also, you might try changing flavors of whiskey. Irish makes me want to blow shit up, Scotch makes me want to wear a plaid skirt, and bourbon reminds me of my racist-peckerwood roots down Perry way, so lately I’ve been abstaining.

    • John Says:

      Well, Tim, I’m not sure I understand much of what you had to say there, but I have to say I sure admire your passion (or blood alcohol content). About the only person I disagree with than someone with an opposite opinion is someone with no opinion. Opinions are welcome here, or else I’m in the wrong place.

  7. Tim Joe Says:

    OK

  8. sherkat Says:

    Looks like they’re gunning for Bibleburg….or Shreveport…

    http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/n-korea-propaganda-vid-threatens-attack-on-colorado?ref=fpb

  9. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    Dear Junior and his big hatted coat tail riders are dumber that a bag full of rubber claw hammers, and about as useful. Anyway I don’t want to ride big cockroaches. I want to ride a giant mutant hummingbird.

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