Smart Alex

Alex gives the debate two thumbs down. Or he would, if he weren't strapped into his chair.

Alex gives the debate two thumbs down. Or he would, if he weren’t strapped into his chair.

Somewhere in the afterlife, Steve Jobs is thinking, “Damn, and I thought I had a reality-distortion field.”

Yes, we watched last night’s “debate,” and we won’t be watching any more of them, thanks all the same. Too much TV helped us get into this mess, and more of it will not help us get out.

This morning I took a quick glance around the Innertubes and if last night’s faceoff moved the electoral needle a silly millimeter one way or the other I was unable to find any evidence of it.

I’m starting to think that the only way to pry an acolyte or two away from Agent Orange is to catch him in bed on prime time snorting blow off an 18-year-old undocumented gay hooker on welfare who is both an ISIS mole and a fraudulently registered Democrat. Either that or he starts eating live puppies instead of taco bowls.

And I certainly don’t expect him to have a come-to-Jesus moment anytime soon, not even a pretend one, the way Alex did. One of us will take a long step off a very high place first, and it won’t be him.

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14 Responses to “Smart Alex”

  1. David Rees Says:

    The man is truly an ambulatory douche bag. Mr. Pierce linked to this the other day, and it’s damn good: http://www.gq.com/story/a-word-for-donald-trump-voters

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Whoo-lawd, that was a live one. I must’ve missed it while I was running my self-enforced media blackout at Interbike. You take your eye off the ball for one goddamn minute and somebody swats it into the stratosphere.

    • Herb Clevenger Says:

      Holy cats…the very rant I’ve been wishing to give to ALL who hint at supporting The Donald only I couldn’t find the right words. And there they are..go fuck yourself…perfect.

    • larryatcycleitalia Says:

      The morons control our fate now sadly. Anyone with a working intellect saw what the choices clearly were on Monday night and they’ll hold their nose and vote for Clinton. We just gotta hope (and pray if you believe in those things) something happens on November 8th that distracts them and they forget to go down and vote for the greasy orange turd.
      I didn’t think enough Brits would be stupid enough for Brexit to pass…but we all know what my wife says…

  2. khal spencer Says:

    Fuckin A. I’m moving to New Zealand.

  3. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Khal, do you think Hurben would let us into New Zealand at this point? We would probably have to go through “extreme vetting.”

    Meanwhile, I guess I saw proof the other morning that I live in a 55 plus gated community. I saw a guy in a golf cart towing another fellow in his motorized wheelchair scooter thingy. I guess his battery died, and he called a neighbor for a tow. Must be close to the end.

  4. debby511 Says:

    Michael Moore says Trump is going to win:

    http://michaelmoore.com/trumpwillwin/

    It very well could happen. New Zealand for me if it does. I’m too old to apply for a long term work visa but I can go down on a tourist visa and start looking for work when I get there. Job offer = short term work visa, and then I have my foot in the door.

  5. Hurben Says:

    New Zealand Extreme vetting:

    1. Drink Beer (tick)
    2. Support the All Blacks (tick)
    3. Ride Bicycles (bonus tick)

    Welcome!

    The best decision that I ever made was to accept a job offer down here in 1987. I may not have made as much money as I could have in other places but my life’s been infinitely richer.

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