A public service announcement

When the going gets weird. ...

When the going gets weird. …

Unless Zombie Hunter S. Thompson resurrects the National Affairs Desk atop a taco truck outside the University of Nevada-Las Vegas I will not be watching tonight’s final “debate.”

I suppose there might be some entertainment value in watching the increasingly deranged Ronald McDonald McTrump shout in answer to every question, “You’re fired! You’re fired! YOU’RE FIRED!!!” Or maybe lunge across the desk and sink his fangs into The Hilldebeast’s throat as she stabs him in the venom sac with a ceremonial dagger smuggled to her by the Illuminati.

But goddamn, I’ve had enough of this for one lifetime, in this realm or any other. It’s like watching Maude trade zingers with Yog-Sothoth on the Necronomicon Network.

“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!”

“God will get you for that, Donald.”

As soon as early voting commences here in the Land of Enchantment, I will bicycle over to the polls and vote against Insane Clown Pussy. This may be pointless — Real Clear Politics has HRC solidly out front in New Mexico, and the NYT’s Upshot has her with a 92 percent chance of victory nationwide — but insulting him on Twitter seems to have had little effect. Thus I leave nothing to chance.

And if the GOP candidate should transmogrify into a Great Old One and devour the shrieking studio audience tonight, well, that’s showbiz. Doesn’t mean I have to watch.

If only it were true that whatever happens in Vegas stays there.


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21 Responses to “A public service announcement”

  1. DownhillBill Says:

    For the last debate, I went to sleep for a while when I got home, then read the postmortem on the BBC. For those fellow Apple TV users who actually want to watch tonight, I recommend the free Sky News app. Live coverage, British news perspective later, and they sponsor bike racing.

    No early voting here, but at least I can look forward to abusing the Rethuglican volunteers outside the polls. Not as much fun as engaging the LaRouchites, but sometimes a guy just has to make do.

    I probably won’t watch either, as I’ll already be doing colonoscopy prep and won’t need the additional stimulus.

  2. Pat O'Brien Says:

    No debate here either. Duffy and I (I’ll be driving) pick up Sandy at 1300 from the Tucson airport. I’d rather let Duffy drive to Tucson that watch the debate. Early voting is open in Arizona; we will vote on Friday.

    Bill, for me the prep is much worse than the test.

    • DownhillBill Says:

      Pat, I’ve done the whole thing before. Once past the prep, the drugs are great. I hadn’t felt that good since the ’70’s.

      • Pat O'Brien Says:

        I did one without the drugs. They had a needle in my hand if I changed my mind. I asked the doc if it would affect the test if I stayed awake, and he said no. It wasn’t that bad. Felt like a case of the gas.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Ah, lucky you, Pat. The Duffinator must be pleased as well.

      El Boo is already longing for the good ol’ days. Little guy has a bad habit of creeping silently up behind me in the kitchen and it nearly did for him last night.

      I was closing the refrigerator door while backpedaling, there he was, and down I went. I’d have flattened him like a Boo-cake if not for my lightning reflexes, which is to say I managed to twist on the way down and hit the brick floor with my right elbow instead of The Boo with my not-inconsiderable torso.

      I yelped, he yelped, and it took us the better part of quite some time to become pals again. He must’ve felt like Jack watching the beanstalk and its giant coming down.

      Bill, good luck with the colonoscopy. I’m not sure there are any drugs good enough for the debate, though. And I used to be something of an expert in the field.

      • Pat O'Brien Says:

        Glad your elbow took the brunt of it and not your back. Duffy does quite the dance in the kitchen to stay out of the way. Once I say “all gone” he disappears. Nice to have Sandy back, and the Duffer is soaking up some serious belly rubs right now.

  3. larry brown Says:

    Shit, I’m going to watch with plenty of beers, help me!

  4. Larry T Says:

    The USA’s most crotchety Senator will debate his Democratic opponent tonight in our fair city so I’ll pop over there to hiss at Grassley in person. That should wind up before the greasy orange turd can get out too many “You’d be in jail!” rants in ‘Vegas. If the whole thing is rigged as he claims I wonder why he’ll bother to show up?

    • DownhillBill Says:

      Who was it who said “there’s no such thing as bad publicity”?

      Our leading mayoral candidate used to commute to the state legislature from jail. As if we needed more proof.

  5. Charley Auer Says:

    We received our early voting ballots yesterday, they will be easy to fill out and go back tomorrow. We must watch the debate to determine how bad the media lies to us about the debate and evaluate the evening comedians comments.

  6. Steve O Says:

    ‘Merica ain’t ready for a prez with a comb-over.

    If you can’t rock a chrome dome with pride, then you got issues that “Hail to the Chief” will not alleviate

  7. larry brown Says:

    Well I did it now I feel dirty, boy do we need Hunter and Carlin wait we do PO’G

  8. Hurben Says:

    I sit here down under, with my mouth open going WTF!!

    Fuck it, isn’t this embarrassing?

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      What’s truly appalling is the herd of venal swine that enables him. I’d like to think that “running” this guy’s campaign would forever disqualify someone from ever working in politics again, but then I’d like to think a lot of things, like “World peace,” “Feed the hungry,” and “I’m Batman.”

    • Pat O'Brien Says:

      Good morning. Didn’t watch it, but I read about it this morning. Didn’t think it could go any lower, but it did. The republican party leadershit (no Siri, don’t fix that typo) has no backbone at all. If the turn out is low, and incumbents win, then, Houston, we have a problem.

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