Tanks, but no tanks

“Goddamnit, just look at that traffic. I knew we should’ve taken that left turn at Albuquerque.”

More than 41.5 million of us will be traveling this weekend, most of us via suburban battlewagon, according to AAA.

What, you thought they were all taking the electric bus? Brother, have I got a bridge for you.

My man Hal Walter beat an estimated 760,000 of his fellow Coloradans to the exodus, motoring north on Thursday to help his mom celebrate her 80th birthday. But he should meet plenty of them on the way back to Weirdcliffe, especially if he’s late getting to Mile High and Bibleburg, the traditional pinch-points along Interstate 25.

“Plain and simple, people just aren’t worried about pump prices,” said AAA Colorado spokesman Skyler McKinley, who predicted “a busy summer travel season.”

Hm. Maybe so. But Herself and I will be staying put, for this weekend, anyway. Traveling on holidays is like pub-crawling on St. Patrick’s Day — strictly for amateurs.

Thus we will be riding our bikey bikes, and pulling some weeds in the back 40, and listening to the little girls next door squeal as they run through the sprinklers surrounding the nice little bit of lawn that their parents just had installed for their summertime enjoyment.

What are all y’all up to?

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10 Responses to “Tanks, but no tanks”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    Not sure yet what we are up to. The usual Saturday hunting and gathering, putting in some tomatoes, peppers and other stuff in the raised beds, hopefully getting the tandem out for the Tour de Tesuque, etc. Like you, avoiding the “mass movement” to the highways.

  2. Carl Duellman Says:

    we’ve got subtropical storm alberto arriving for memorial day so we will be rained out pretty much the entire weekend. memorial day weekend is also a huge gay (and i mean that in the homosexual sense) party out at the beach. it’s a huge draw and brings thousands of people and gobs of money to our area. we may not be the buckle of the bible belt but we are certainly one of the well worn holes in said belt and it’s funny that the gay crowd shows up here of all places. the party has been happening for decades even in more less tolerant times. the storm will probably thin out the crowd some.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I’ve noticed that ordinarily doctrinaire Christians can be quite OK with pretty much anything that causes the manna to rain from … from … well, from wherever. It’s manna, dude! Manna ain’t gay! It’s just manna!

      Being a pagan, and also a freelance scribe, I’ve been pulling an oar in that boat myself. Whatever floats the boat, amirite?

  3. Pat O'Brien Says:

    We are following your lead and staying put. I am riding on Sunday, and we are having the neighbors over for dinner on Memorial day. Tranquilo on the border is what.

  4. larryatcycleitalia Says:

    I haven’t been in the USA for this holiday in 3 decades. Same with July 4th. With any luck this will continue and include Labor Day, Thanksgiving, etc…though we might be forced to visit the in-laws at Xmas a time or two.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      How’s it going across the pond, Larry? Are you up to your occhi in ex-pats fleeing the Orange Shirts?

      “Say, how do you say ‘fuck that guy’ in Italian?”

  5. ryansubike Says:

    I used to camp on 3 day weekends but realized I was spending 75% of my waking hours in traffic or ferry lines, now I just walk to the local pub instead and save the camping for when I can get away during the week.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      During my newspaper years I mostly worked holidays and forgot what they were all about.

      Once I got out of that racket every day was a holiday and I never remembered.

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