Once again, tragedy strikes Albuquerque.
Albuquerque Rapid Transit has been on the road less than a week, and already three of its 20 buses have been involved in collisions that left two of them knocked out of service and in need of repairs.
All three crashes occurred while motorists were attempting left turns. In two incidents the motorists apparently mistook the bus lane for a left-turn lane, because that’s what it would be pretty much anywhere other than ART’s nine-mile route down the center of Central Avenue.
That there was a giant garishly colored bus in the way did not deter the motorists from attempting to seize the lane. Burqueños, who get their driver’s licenses for free with their first six-pack of convenience-store lager, know that in the Duke City the first driver to acknowledge another vehicle’s presence surrenders the right of way. Plus, you take your eyes off your phone, you risk missing a text.
It’s not clear whether any of the drivers spilled their beers.
Mad Blog Media 
December 5, 2019 at 5:31 pm |
Correct answer to the first question on the New Mexico Driver Exam.
(c) Hold my beer.
December 5, 2019 at 7:51 pm |
Shit. I thought it was (b) Fuck, is that a cop? Yo, bro’, hide this gun, I’m on probation.
December 6, 2019 at 9:04 am |
Well, (a) was “shit, I just hit this bus and I’m already late for my hookup with my crystal meth dealer”
December 5, 2019 at 6:55 pm |
Want to lose whatever little faith you have left in humanity?
Next time you’re making a left, closely observe the tires of your fellow travelers, in relation to the painted yellow lines.
You’ll be scratching you’re head in no time trying to figure out how we ever got to the moon. Or got dressed in the morning without catching the equipment in the pants zipper.
It’s been an obsession of mine, starting about five years ago, when my wife got the Malachi Crunch in a very well marked intersection with miles of visibility. She was going straight, lady in oncoming lane was turning left (running a red on top of everything else). Police report mentioned the 87 things she had done wrong, but no where on the report was the fact that she was an entire car’s width outside the turn lane.
I swear, if one out of ten cars that I see keeps its wheels inside the lane, it’s a major victory for Driver’s Ed these days.
December 5, 2019 at 7:48 pm |
Down to here they turn left from the right lane, and right from the left, and use the I-40 off-ramps to pass 18-wheelers on the right.
Nobody uses turn signals because they need both hands for smoking, drinking and texting. One hand has to multitask unless its owner pulled a few too many shifts at WIPP and grew a couple extras.
Also, forget about stopping for red lights. Slowing down for one is considered effeminate. Even for women.
December 6, 2019 at 9:10 am |
I never stop on a red light until I check my rear view mirror to make sure the person behind me stops. Learned that the hard way on Long Island while in grad school. My housemate and I were on the way to pick up a pizza. I stopped at a red and saw weaving headlights in the rear view mirror as the VW/SAM hurtled towards me, losing control while panic braking. Had just enough time to holler “Hang on Paul, we are gonna get…” BAM.
The crash left Paul along with the passenger seat he was sitting in tossed into the back of the car, which was totalled. Thank god for headrests or it probably would have snapped both our necks. I was able to drive it home but it kept rocking back and forth with only three wheels on the ground at any one time.
I think there is now a reverse IQ test for getting a driver license.
December 5, 2019 at 7:33 pm |
Makes me think about hanging up the cleats. Shit is getting crazy out there. Some months ago a stop sign runner almost cashed my final check. My buddy riding behind me was screaming like he dropped a lit cigaret between his legs and couldn’t get his seat belt undone.
December 5, 2019 at 7:50 pm |
The stop sign/red light runners here are some of the weirdest I’ve ever seen. About two-thirds of them don’t even speed up. They just roll on through, like members of the Politburo in a Zil lane. Scary. You don’t see them coming until they’re right there in the car with you.
December 6, 2019 at 11:15 am |
I used to accept that many people ran yellows when they could not stop before the light changed to yellow at an intersection. But now it is commonplace to see full red light runners, 2 or even 3 seconds after the red.
Around here most of the worst crashes (don’t call them accidents) happen at signaled intersections.
December 6, 2019 at 11:31 am |
O yeh. You want to give yourself about three Mississippis’ worth of cushion before inching into an intersection here.
Yesterday I had the green left-turn arrow at Comanche and Tramway and sure enough, some dude in a giant Ford pick-’em-up truck shot through on the red at about 60 mph. Rig like that would put a helluva dent in a 15-year-old Subaru.
December 6, 2019 at 4:04 pm |
It would at the very least shorten your wheelbase
December 5, 2019 at 10:06 pm |
I’m not sure if I’ve posted this before, but just wonderful South African music from back in the daze.
December 6, 2019 at 8:09 am |
I think that’s a new one on us here, Hurben. Reminds me of the time a friend got a show with a new gallery. The owners were excited as all hell after hanging the works, exclaiming as they walked him around, “Isn’t it great? Don’t you just love it?”
He sez to ’em he sez, “Oh, yeah, fabulous, great, awesome. That one’s upside down.”
December 6, 2019 at 1:24 am |
Is there something in the water (or beer) in this town/state?
December 6, 2019 at 11:34 am |
Just wait until we get legal weed. Sure, it’ll take the edge off the meth, but it tends to blur the focus a tad. Especially if you drop the blunt in your lap while texting a dick pic to your significant other. You got yourself another spilled beer there, too.
December 6, 2019 at 3:42 am |
What do you need to get a driver’s license in New Mexico? A face. (My comment on drivers while living there.)
December 6, 2019 at 8:09 am |
Haw. Well said. Not even a pulse. Just a face.
December 6, 2019 at 4:21 am |
Kind of timely as I’m studying for an Italian driving license. Combining the usually tricky/obtuse DMV type questions with a foreign language makes this a real challenge for me. Luckily they have online quizzes so I can practice, practice, practice for the written test. Dunno yet about the practical part, I have to get one more piece of Italian ID before I can even start that.
December 6, 2019 at 8:11 am |
We have to get the mom-in-law a New Mexico ID. As she is not a native New Mexican she can’t get one for free with a six-pack, so I’m expecting heavy lifting, paperwork-wise.
December 6, 2019 at 8:40 am |
Dunno for sure yet what the ID is gonna require. I went down to the office (and got an appointment for this Monday) and all they said was bring a photo, money and passport. Somehow I think they’ll be asking for more than that but whatever it might be I think I have it as we now have a large folder of various documents with impressive stamps and signatures on them. The driving license is a whole ‘nuther thang!!!
December 6, 2019 at 9:59 am |
In New Mexico, do you have to have the picture taken with your favorite illegally owned handgun?
December 6, 2019 at 1:41 pm |
Patrick’s license photo below.
December 6, 2019 at 3:10 pm |
Don’t forget my Oregon operator’s permit, circa 1983 or thereabouts.
December 6, 2019 at 4:46 pm |
https://i0.wp.com/mikethegunguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/khalil.jpg?resize=332%2C249&ssl=1
December 6, 2019 at 6:47 pm |
That’s priceless, especially the stogie.
December 6, 2019 at 9:44 pm |
So what the hell is that you are carrying, Patrick?