My first grocery trip in more than two weeks was blessedly uneventful.
The parking lots were sparsely populated. A few customers were masked and gloved. And all of us were doing the Alphonse-Gaston routine in the aisles.
“After you, Alfonse.”
“No, you first, my dear Gaston!”
I was surprised to be able to find everything on my list, and doubly so to find everyone bearing up so well. A tip of the Mad Dog chef’s toque to the staffs of Keller’s Farm Stores and Sprouts Farmers Market for keeping the shelves stocked, the checkouts running, and their chins up in trying times.
Mad Blog Media 
I had a similar experience Monday morning. A buddy went yesterday, and the store was packed with long checkout lines due to the 6 foot distance requirement. I am going on Friday for a few things to get through another week, then staying put. If I tie a bandana around my face, I hope they don’t call the cops on me.
I must’ve hit the sweet spot. Lots of checkers, shelves being restocked, the works. And tortillas! We had just eaten the last of ours. I gots to have my tortillas.
What, even toilet paper? I haven’t see. Any on the shelves in almost a month.
Herself has bought TP, Kleenex, and paper towels in bulk for years. So we were well stocked before (wait for it) the shit hit the fan.
You should be ashamed. Wait for it, indeed. I always duck when I know a cheap shot is coming.
You need Mad Dog Media and Radio Free Dogpatch shopping bags.
Watch other shoppers, and cashiers, give you a wide berth when they seem ’em.