The pear tree in the back yard is a bee magnet.
Spring keeps on a-springin’ in these parts, and maybe where you are, too.
If it’s not, well … I probably shouldn’t tell you that today’s high in the Duke City is expected to hit 72 degrees, with abundant sunshine. And it might be a week before we see any precipitation.
The downside of all this explosive warmth and growth is, of course, pollen.
Mullberry, cottonwood, ash, juniper, maple … seems damn’ near everything is making whoopee. Except for those of us with (snork) allergies.
This is no time to have allergies and voices in your head, believe you me. Every tickle in the throat, every sneeze, every bout of fatigue sets ’em to yelling like talking heads on cable TV.
“Can you make a biohazard suit out of an old shower curtain, duct tape, and a goldfish bowl?”
“Where are my oven mitts and barbecue tongs? I want to fetch the mail, see if my Plague Check is here yet.”
“I don’t care if we are out of toilet paper, quit wiping your butt with my Kleenex!”
Tags: allergies, The Plague
Mad Blog Media 
April 6, 2020 at 10:05 am |
My smarter half’s grandmother gave me a shitload of hankies for xmas over 20 years ago. I found them in the corner of a drawer 15 years ago. What do you do with lint free cotton cloth? Clean bicycle disc brake rotors with them, plus a little rubbing alcohol. Tames the banshee it does. so, I have 6 new hankies. Hankies, that’s the ticket. Bandanas are big hankies.
April 6, 2020 at 11:11 am |
I got bandanas like Carter’s got little liver pills. Handy little items they are, too, and not just for cleaning your bike. Keep the sun off your dome, snout, neck, whatever. Wrap a middlin’-sized rock in one and use it as a blackjack. Wear one as a trouser clip when cycling. Gag a kidnap victim. The possibilities are endless.
April 6, 2020 at 10:48 am |
About the tree pollen; well tree sex has happened long before we appeared.
We burn them, cut them down, bulldoze them, and even prune the ones we love.
I think it may be revenge (cough, hack, sneeze).
April 6, 2020 at 11:02 am |
Every now and then one falls on us, too. And who can blame them?
April 6, 2020 at 12:24 pm |
about 2 weeks ago the oaks were dumping lots of pollen. i actually had to wash my car it was so bad. no allergies though.
April 6, 2020 at 3:31 pm |
Down here it’s the juniper and mulberry that does the damage. Whack a hedge with a broom and watch that yellow pollen fly. Faugh.
April 7, 2020 at 5:45 am |
Last year the pine pollen hit biblical levels here. Yellow clouds of the stuff seen billowing down the streets.
April 6, 2020 at 3:12 pm |
Cough, hack, sneeze. And, brother do you have a sinus headache pill?
April 6, 2020 at 3:32 pm |
Mostly I avoid the dope. I’m already dopey enough. As should be painfully obvious to frequent visitors here.
April 6, 2020 at 3:58 pm |
Hey, this is one of the few social connections I have left.
April 6, 2020 at 6:38 pm |
Yea, what he said.
April 7, 2020 at 1:41 am |
Truth, even my imaginary friend has unfriended me on Facebook & the voices in my head aren’t talking to me any more …
April 7, 2020 at 3:51 pm
How are you folks getting along down there, Hurben? This Washington Post piece makes all y’all sound pretty damn impressive when it comes to bug-squashing.
Well, except for that Easter Bunny fellow, who apparently got himself deemed “essential.”
April 8, 2020 at 1:39 am
H iYa Po’G,
Gotta look after all the little people so, yeah, Easter Bunny & Tooth Fairy have been declared essential workers.
Wife & I go for a daily walk, staying in our bubble, no closer than 2 metres to anyone else & it’s wonderful to see all the teddy bears in the windows. chalk on the side walk with happy messages.
Jazza showed her hard side this week when the minister of health was outed for ignoring lockdown restrictions, she pretty much called him an idiot on media & said that if if would not have been so disruptive she would have sacked him, but he’s pretty much a dead man walking..
Which is a pity as he’s a nice guy & a dedicated cyclist.
April 8, 2020 at 6:39 am
I’ve seen a few teddy bears, but they don’t seem to be an official Thing® in our neighborhood yet. The chalk drawings and inspirational messages are everywhere, though. Some clearly show the work of an adult hand, so good on the parents for making it a family project.
Glad to hear you folks are well and getting out and about as is possible. The health minister didn’t do himself any favors, eh? If he’d done that here … he’d have gotten promoted.
April 6, 2020 at 7:32 pm |
Where’s there’s dopes, there’s hopes. (Hee, and also haw.)