Skullcapped

The view west from Trail 365 and Candelaria.

We’ve finally surrendered to the inevitable and turned on the air conditioning at El Rancho Pendejo.

It’s been hot as balls for a while now. And though this morning we awakened to cloudy skies and light rain, before long the sun came out, the wind followed, and boom! Just like that our plans for a long bike ride got red-flagged.

The gabacho sombrero.

Herself opted for a short trail run instead, while I trudged out for an hourlong hike, my running days being more or less over.

One of the downsides of using hiking as a running replacement is that the practitioner is compelled to spend more time outside, where the sun is. And during a four-miler last week I got a bit toasted on the back of the neck, where my Santa Fe School of Cooking ballcap proved of no use whatsoever.

So afterward I popped round to a nearby surplus store, where I scored myself a cheapo Honduran boonie hat to replace the ballcap. And I’ve started knotting a raggedy-ass bandana around my throat, too.

Now I look like every other bewhiskered old gabacho hoofer in the ’hood. Imagine how Carl Spackler might look 40 years after “Caddyshack,” assuming he married well, and you’ll get the picture.

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26 Responses to “Skullcapped”

  1. Chris Coursey Says:

    Dude. You don’t want to look like every other gabacho viejo? Get yourself a parasol, bro! Un paniagua por el sol!

    Chris

  2. SAO' Says:

    Trust me on this one: ditch the ball caps, stick with boony, floppy, something with a 360° brim

    Warning: might not be what you’re looking for right before or after a meal.

    https://www.icloud.com/sharedalbum/#B10G7HOIlG2RoJS;0DF55B58-08AA-49BE-AF02-ADA841AF46DB

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Ow, wow, yow, zow, etc., et al., and so on and so forth.

      I had a doc take a melon baller to my right cheekbone, just below the eye, a while back. Not quite as dramatic as your pic, but it was (and remains) noticeable. Froze a few bits on the ears too. Don’t like it when the whitecoats give you the double-o and mumble, “Hmm, mm, no, don’t like the look of that,” and chuck a few razors, hatchets, and ice-cream scoops into the sterilizer.

      • SAO' Says:

        Derm docs wield the frozen nitro like a big city cop with pepper spray when they think no ones filming. If you had put a Krylon sticker on his spray can, you’d swear he had mistaken me for parked rail car or a subway wall.

  3. Pat O’Brien Says:

    I figured a Tilley Hat costs a little less, also much less painful, than a liquid nitrogen shot. So, I paid the man for one years ago. Still have it; still like it and use it all summer.

  4. Herb from Michigan Says:

    Getting the right hat is harder than Chinese algebra. First the sumbitch has to stay on in moderate breezes without squeezing your noggin into migraines. Then it’s gotta have some space in the crown to let air come in/out. Then there’s that Carl look to be avoided if possible. If the fabric is quick drying like nylon, it doesn’t breathe worth a damn. Straw typically breaks down if you pack it or sit on it and fares poorly around bug repellent. Ah ….back in the day when I had enough hair to weave a Hudson Bay blanket a long billed visor was the hot ticket. Would stay on in the wind and never overheated the old bean. Could even roll the kayak without losing it. Nowadays I’m partial to Outdoor Research hats with high crowns. Guess my head is pointed.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      This cheapo boonie is not bad. 65 percent polyester, 35 percent cotton, but no sweatband, which is a bummer.

      Happily, it’s just loose enough that I can knot a bandana pirate style (arr) over the noggin underneath, same as I do under my helmet. Four good-sized portholes in the crown, too, matey. Bonus: There’s a stampede cord on the sumbitch in case the breeze gets belligerent, which it always does, this being New Mexico.

      Now, straw: I liked a straw cowboy hat Back in the Day® when I was a faux country hippie, and my man Hal wears by the SunBody brand, says he has three of them and that all the real buckaroos up to Crusty County wear ’em ever’whur, even to bed. We have a local dealer here and I plan to pop round for a look-see. They do some nice fedora styles.

      For “more active stuff,” like chasing burros around and about in the mountains, Hal favors the Firebird V2 from Shelta.

      SunBody hats

      The Hal Walter SunBody collection.

    • SAO' Says:

      Funny, I buy three hats a year, lose two, hate the third. My 81 year old father-in-law, who still farms full-time and spends 18 hours a day outside, is wearing the same hat he got 40 years ago, the last time he drove into “town” (meaning, a city of more than 5,000), and he looks great in it.

  5. SAO' Says:

    Don’t forget social distancing!

    https://www.bikeradar.com/news/social-distandem/

  6. Pat O Says:

    Here’s another option, especially if you get an employee discount!

    https://www.adventurecycling.org/cyclosource-store/apparel/head-hands-feet/sp/protech-cap/

  7. Stan Thomas Says:

    Headwear for a British summer.

  8. Hurben Says:

    This just in.

    https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/health/coronavirus/121752568/coronavirus-new-zealand-is-covid19free-last-remaining-active-case-has-recovered

    I may get a hat to celebrate…

  9. ryansubike Says:

    Pool or Pond, anything would be good….

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