The view west from Trail 365 and Candelaria.
We’ve finally surrendered to the inevitable and turned on the air conditioning at El Rancho Pendejo.
It’s been hot as balls for a while now. And though this morning we awakened to cloudy skies and light rain, before long the sun came out, the wind followed, and boom! Just like that our plans for a long bike ride got red-flagged.
The gabacho sombrero.
Herself opted for a short trail run instead, while I trudged out for an hourlong hike, my running days being more or less over.
One of the downsides of using hiking as a running replacement is that the practitioner is compelled to spend more time outside, where the sun is. And during a four-miler last week I got a bit toasted on the back of the neck, where my Santa Fe School of Cooking ballcap proved of no use whatsoever.
So afterward I popped round to a nearby surplus store, where I scored myself a cheapo Honduran boonie hat to replace the ballcap. And I’ve started knotting a raggedy-ass bandana around my throat, too.
Now I look like every other bewhiskered old gabacho hoofer in the ’hood. Imagine how Carl Spackler might look 40 years after “Caddyshack,” assuming he married well, and you’ll get the picture.
Tags: boonie hat, Caddyshack, Carl Spackler
Mad Blog Media 
June 6, 2020 at 9:26 pm |
Dude. You don’t want to look like every other gabacho viejo? Get yourself a parasol, bro! Un paniagua por el sol!
Chris
June 7, 2020 at 6:53 am |
¡Claro que si, hombre! Be a bro’ and buy me one of these, homes. Keeps the sun off your dome and lets the State track you even when you leave the phone back at the crib. Orrrrrrrale.
June 6, 2020 at 10:24 pm |
Trust me on this one: ditch the ball caps, stick with boony, floppy, something with a 360° brim
Warning: might not be what you’re looking for right before or after a meal.
https://www.icloud.com/sharedalbum/#B10G7HOIlG2RoJS;0DF55B58-08AA-49BE-AF02-ADA841AF46DB
June 7, 2020 at 6:51 am |
Ow, wow, yow, zow, etc., et al., and so on and so forth.
I had a doc take a melon baller to my right cheekbone, just below the eye, a while back. Not quite as dramatic as your pic, but it was (and remains) noticeable. Froze a few bits on the ears too. Don’t like it when the whitecoats give you the double-o and mumble, “Hmm, mm, no, don’t like the look of that,” and chuck a few razors, hatchets, and ice-cream scoops into the sterilizer.
June 7, 2020 at 8:15 am |
Derm docs wield the frozen nitro like a big city cop with pepper spray when they think no ones filming. If you had put a Krylon sticker on his spray can, you’d swear he had mistaken me for parked rail car or a subway wall.
June 7, 2020 at 4:55 am |
I figured a Tilley Hat costs a little less, also much less painful, than a liquid nitrogen shot. So, I paid the man for one years ago. Still have it; still like it and use it all summer.
June 7, 2020 at 7:05 am |
Which model didja get, Paddy me lad? I was checking those out too. I’m pretty certain I’ve seen a few in the wild. Lots of hair-impaired viejos in these parts.
June 7, 2020 at 7:21 am |
Got one of these about 10 years ago. It still looks good after repeated washings. Sandy even wove a hat band for it. She has one too.
https://www.tilley.com/us_en/ltm8-airflo-mesh-hat.html
June 7, 2020 at 8:22 am |
“ * Keep valuables safe in the secret pocket“
Great! Now I just need some valuables!
June 7, 2020 at 8:31 am |
I recommend the OR Sombriolet. I’ve had one for 10 years and it holds up great, ventilates, adjustable head band, and stays put in the wind.
June 7, 2020 at 6:18 am |
Getting the right hat is harder than Chinese algebra. First the sumbitch has to stay on in moderate breezes without squeezing your noggin into migraines. Then it’s gotta have some space in the crown to let air come in/out. Then there’s that Carl look to be avoided if possible. If the fabric is quick drying like nylon, it doesn’t breathe worth a damn. Straw typically breaks down if you pack it or sit on it and fares poorly around bug repellent. Ah ….back in the day when I had enough hair to weave a Hudson Bay blanket a long billed visor was the hot ticket. Would stay on in the wind and never overheated the old bean. Could even roll the kayak without losing it. Nowadays I’m partial to Outdoor Research hats with high crowns. Guess my head is pointed.
June 7, 2020 at 6:44 am |
This cheapo boonie is not bad. 65 percent polyester, 35 percent cotton, but no sweatband, which is a bummer.
Happily, it’s just loose enough that I can knot a bandana pirate style (arr) over the noggin underneath, same as I do under my helmet. Four good-sized portholes in the crown, too, matey. Bonus: There’s a stampede cord on the sumbitch in case the breeze gets belligerent, which it always does, this being New Mexico.
Now, straw: I liked a straw cowboy hat Back in the Day® when I was a faux country hippie, and my man Hal wears by the SunBody brand, says he has three of them and that all the real buckaroos up to Crusty County wear ’em ever’whur, even to bed. We have a local dealer here and I plan to pop round for a look-see. They do some nice fedora styles.
For “more active stuff,” like chasing burros around and about in the mountains, Hal favors the Firebird V2 from Shelta.
The Hal Walter SunBody collection.
June 7, 2020 at 8:19 am |
Funny, I buy three hats a year, lose two, hate the third. My 81 year old father-in-law, who still farms full-time and spends 18 hours a day outside, is wearing the same hat he got 40 years ago, the last time he drove into “town” (meaning, a city of more than 5,000), and he looks great in it.
June 7, 2020 at 8:20 am |
Don’t forget social distancing!
https://www.bikeradar.com/news/social-distandem/
June 7, 2020 at 11:10 am |
Here’s another option, especially if you get an employee discount!
https://www.adventurecycling.org/cyclosource-store/apparel/head-hands-feet/sp/protech-cap/
June 7, 2020 at 11:47 am |
Now here’s what we really need.
June 7, 2020 at 11:58 am |
Just the outfit for Duke City hiking. Sun protection and a rifle.
June 7, 2020 at 12:15 pm |
Do they offer that blue tunic in Kevlar, d’ye think?
June 7, 2020 at 2:51 pm |
Headwear for a British summer.
June 7, 2020 at 3:11 pm |
My brain hurts!
June 7, 2020 at 6:26 pm |
June 7, 2020 at 8:02 pm |
This just in.
https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/health/coronavirus/121752568/coronavirus-new-zealand-is-covid19free-last-remaining-active-case-has-recovered
I may get a hat to celebrate…
June 8, 2020 at 6:38 am |
Good news, Hurben. Damn little of that around here lately. Well done to you and your fellow Kiwis. Medals, promotions, and sombreros all around!
June 8, 2020 at 8:38 am |
Put a woman leader in charge and good stuff usually happens! Why? I think it is because of compassion, vision, and patience with a little love in the mix.
June 8, 2020 at 8:51 am |
Also, no irksome testicles. The clanging of the brass ones disrupts the male thought process, such as it is.
June 13, 2020 at 6:16 pm |
Pool or Pond, anything would be good….