The temperature is testicular

Smoke from various Southwestern fires is pooling down by the Rio.

Boom! And just like that, it’s officially hot as balls here at the Duke City Chuckle Hut.

We hit the century mark this afternoon, according to our Acu-Rite weather gizmo.

I got outdoors while the temperature was a frosty 84 degrees, so I didn’t explode like an unpierced spud in a microwave. I’m still not running, but a six-mile hike is a fine means of making a motheaten carcass carry its own weight for a couple hours.

Incidentally, if any of yis who commit pedestrianism have not yet tried trekking poles, you might consider giving ’em a whirl. I scored a set of Gossamer Gear LT5 poles when they went on sale earlier this month, and they give me something to do with my hands other than gesticulate while arguing with the voices in my head.

Also, moreover, furthermore, and too, they help buttress the bum ankle as I stumble up and down the rocky Sandia singletrack in my quest for the wily endorphin.

Alas, when I turned around up near the wilderness boundary a cloud of overcooked forest was obscuring the view. On a clear day it’s no trick to see all the way to Mount Taylor and points west.

Something else that’s not so hot: The Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta has been canceled for this year. That’s a solid-gold kick in the ’nads for bidness and gummint. A study of the 2019 fiesta estimated the economic impact at $186.8 million, with a corresponding shit-ton of tax revenues for the city, county and state.

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18 Responses to “The temperature is testicular”

  1. TJ Says:

    Cooking in the high eighties to ninety here in Vermont. Too damn hot to early. And so dry. Send rain somebody. Many high dollar events cancelled here too. Not business as usual.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Ayuh. We’re looking at below-average precip’ and above-average temps for the next three months. This is a bad combo in a country full of dummies.

      Up to Weirdcliffe my man Hal sez: “I think I need to get my chainsaws running. I see a future in wildfire mitigation. Someone messes up around here and it will be off to the races.”

      • khal spencer Says:

        I don’t envy Hal. Having had to hurriedly pack the cars with whatever seemed essential as charred embers descended on our BombTowne house back in 2011, this is serious bizniz. With climate change, I suspect this is the new normal.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Yup. That 2012 Waldo Canyon fire got a leetle too close for comfort when we lived in B-burg. And I remember scouting a back way off our hillside near Weirdcliffe once, too, since there was only one official way in and out.

        My alternative would not have been fun, even in low-range four-wheel drive. But there was plenty of standing dead on that hill and it would’ve made a lovely flame.

  2. khal spencer Says:

    The official temperature at the airport here was 94F a while ago and its 88 up here on the gentrified side of Fanta Se. I went through most of two water bottles in a mere 14 miles. Ugh.

  3. Shawn ITG Says:

    We hit about 95F today (Monday – Oh! I guess as I write this it was yesterday). Today is supposed to be in the 96F range. It’s not so bad riding against the wind. It’s riding with a 25 mph tailwind uphill that’s the problem. Stagnant air while climbing in 90F+ is no fun.

    We have a couple of big well watered coniferous trees at our place. But if a fire kicks up and the wind is roaring as it sometimes does, then I don’t make the assumption that they and the adjacent house are safe. We just need to accept the change to our climate and make sure our home insurance is paid up.

    I’ve used fancy-shmancy carbon ski poles as trekking poles for years. I picked them up at a garage sale for cheap, and they are tough enough not to worry about when hiking, climbing or keeping the neighbors watch-cat at bay. But I rounded up a pair of Nordic Trekking Poles one time for my Mom and they were great. They had the quick-flip tips where you could switch from a carbide tip to a rubber tip just by rotating the tip mounts. My Mom used them for only a short time and I didn’t need them so being the online capitalist that I am, I sold them for a windfall of sheckles. But there is nothing better than a good pair of poles when hiking down a steep grade after a day long climb / hike and your legs are toast – It sure beats face-planting in the middle of a rocky trail.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I thought about using my cross-country ski poles, since (a) I never use them for cross-country skiing, and (2) I suck at cross-country skiing, so why not use them for something else?

      But they’re too long for poking around the narrow and spiky Sandia singletrack. I could use Herself’s poles, which are about the right length for a 6-footer hiking, but then she would beat the shit out of me.

      • Shawn sauteeing in the Gorge Says:

        XC poles aren’t really that great for anything other than XC skiing. They are normally pretty fragile. I’ve broken a couple in my time – Fall down on butt on pole = broken pole = profanity. Back in the mid-’90’s I wanted to go cheap and found a pair of Russian poles online and bought them. They worked for a while. At about the 20k mark of a 50k ski race one of them decided to break without the interaction of my butt. I skied for about 5k before a very generous friend cautiously loaned me an ubher-dollar pair of carbon poles. I was really careful and kept my butt far, far away from them.

        • Patrick O'Grady Says:

          You definitely wouldn’t want to try to fight off a bear, Trumpetista, or antifa with a carbon-fiber trekking pole. You’d just make ’em irritable, slapping ’em with your expensive plastic pool cues.

  4. Pat O’Brien Says:

    Nothing like a good piece of hickory to chase the lions away.

    https://www.brazos-walking-sticks.com/free-form-hickory-1/

  5. Herb from Michigan Says:

    My old man had a lilac tree he hated like hell. He was always whacking it back into submission. After he passed on I cut a great walking stick out of the sumbitch before the entire tree was taken out for a new septic field. That stick has now had 20 years of adventures and is the hardest wood I’ve ever come across. I notice when hiking people give me a wider birth with the stick than they do my trekking poles. It’s a fearsome shelaighly. You could crack some Trumper heads open with it and don’t think I haven’t dreamed about it.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      A family heirloom. Nice. And there is something about the feel of a stout stick in one’s hand. I find myself inspecting passing skulls for weak points. There are many, many of them.

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