A wee misinterpretation

“Oopsie.”

Well, it sure is shaping up to be an interesting summer.

Lake Foul is a couple quarts away from becoming a pump track. Lake Merde, a skatepark. And we have to boil the air before we can breathe it.

Good times. Maybe not.

It seems we took God literally when She said: “Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

Now I can envision Her muttering: “You write ’em books and all they do is chew on the covers. You see anything in there about Phoenix, Las Vegas, or California? You do not. Because I was writing the Bible, not ‘The Beverly Hillbillies.’

“I send you my kid and Ed Abbey and this is the thanks I get? I hope you meshuggeners like drinking your wee-wee. Straight, no chaser.”

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21 Responses to “A wee misinterpretation”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    Reminds me of that English expression that is allegedly based on a Chinese curse: “May you live in interesting times”

  2. Pat O’Brien Says:

    Ironic that we were discussing fishing in your last post. Mudskippers for dinner? This shit is not funny anymore.

    • SAO' Says:

      Not called fishing anymore. It’s called, walking out there and picking them up off the ground.

      Local fish are all saying, I evolved into freshwater gills for this?

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      “These fins are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do;
      One of these days these fins are gonna walk all over you.” — Nancy Finatra

      • Shawn Says:

        I never did like that song. Although if Frank would have sang it, it sure would have been funny.

        But a fine use of it for humor by yourself.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      The good news is, now you can catch smoked fish.

      The bad news is, you gotta run ’em down on horseback and lasso ’em.

  3. Chris Ivich Says:

    “dominion” – darn it, shoulda said stewardship. – God

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      “And they completely overlooked the ‘replenish’ part!” — The Buddha.

    • Pat O’Brien Says:

      Do you want to improve the world?
      I don’t think it can be done.

      The world is sacred.
      It can’t be improved.
      If you tamper with it, you’ll ruin it.
      If you treat it like an object, you’ll lose it.

      Chapter 29, Tao te Ching, translation by Stephen Mitchell

      If I were to meet the pope, I would ask him, “ So, how many fucking people do you think the world can hold? Maybe we have enough, ya think?”

      Then we have this dipshit.

      https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/louie-gohmert-earth-orbit-moon-climate-change-b1862732.html

      I am not optimistic.

      • Shawn Says:

        Ok. So which one of you guys (all-gender inclusive term) started the rumor about L. Gohmert and the secret planet moving rockets that the USFS has hidden in the Great Smokey Mountains?

        Wow. Perhaps there should be a restriction on how much koolaid congressman can drink on those abnormally hot Washington days.

        • Pat O’Brien Says:

          I think they are using Jewish Space Lasers to alter the moon’s orbit. That is why we had the recent eclipse.

        • Patrick O'Grady Says:

          Charlie Pierce anointed Gohmert Pyle the Padishah Emperor of the Crazy People when Michele Bachmann abdicated the throne. It’s fair.

        • Pat O'Brien Says:

          Can’t make up shit this bad. Saw a guy this morning in the grocery store parking lot. Sitting in big Dodge diesel pickup with a large picture of dumpster in the side window and a NRA stocker right under it. He was sitting there, truck idling and air conditioner on, when I went in. Came out 45 minutes later, and he is still there sitting in the idling truck with air conditioner running. And, so it goes.

          • carl duellman Says:

            what is it with people and their idling cars? i was at the gas station the other day getting gas and a young woman pulls up to the pump, shuts off her car and then immediately turns it back on, gets out and pumps her gas. funny that several car companies have that automatic engine shut-off when the car stops at a read light.

            on a side note, is there any reason i shouldn’t buy a fender telecaster with my stimulus check? i see it as a win-win for me and the guitar shop.

          • Shawn Says:

            You can appreciate that an idling diesel truck that has a buffoon sticker on it utilizes fuel that runs $3.00+ per gallon not including the DEF additive cost. A cost that removes that money from the direct contribution to any buffoon campaign funding.

            As for the purchase of an item that will soothe one’s state of mind using funds that were specifically doled out for the benefit of that one’s local economy, what are you waiting for?

            I’m still waiting for that $3,000 stimulus check to buy a high dollar roller from my local bike shop. That is if he is able to get new bikes in before he goes out of business.

          • Pat O’Brien Says:

            Tele? You bet. The ones made in Mexico are a great value. The American Performer series are also nice. Lots of choices to be made, all good. Remember I am an acoustic player only, so it might be good to ask someone who owns one, unless that is you! Fender and Taylor seem to be keeping up with demand. Martin and Rainsong not so much. I killed my Rainsong order when wait times went over 4 months. Martin is as bad or worse for popular models. I am very reluctant to buy a guitar without playing it first, especially wood ones. So, I will wait.

        • Patrick O'Grady Says:

          We still got a couple of these pinheads flying the dipshit’s flags at their houses. Lord, they do love a loser. If it’s not the Stars and Bars it’s Ginger Hitler.

  4. JD Says:

    Reminds me unfortunately of a great Gary Larson cartoon showing the inhabitants of Hell on a coffee break and saying: “Wow, they thought of everything. Even the coffee’s cold!” 🙂

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