“We’d like some port and cigars, if you don’t mind.”

We have visitors again. At least I don’t have to cook for this lot. Our back yard is their commissary. Also, their latrine.

They finally got on the neighbors’ last nerve the other day, waltzing in through an open gate and noshing on some choice bits of this and that, so we’re beefing up perimeter security here in the cul-de-sac.

This will require blood, toil, tears, and sweat. Also, probably, money. A mule deer can sail over an 8-foot barrier if there’s something to eat on the other side. We don’t have any 9-foot barriers handy, so in hopes of avoiding a pricey trip to Lowe’s we’re trying to dazzle ’em with bullshit. What the hell, it works on people.

Meanwhile, the deer had a high old time, strolling around the neighbors’ terraced gardens, leaping back and forth across our shared wall, and chasing each other around and about like very large hooved puppies. We should’ve shot some video — video cameras we got in spades — but we were having too much fun watching.


10 Responses to “Ruminating”

  1. JD Says:

    PO’G: Another way to look at it (in the interest of intellectual rigor) is you and your neighbors are contributing to the mental, spiritual, and physical health of a species (mainly Bambi and venison) that has contributed to our (Homo Sapiens) delectable delights and calorie content for as long as America existed.
    That symbiotic/bi-partisan relationship has endured longer than every Republican and Democrat administration since the Founding Fathers (sexist term for sure) decided that Manifest Destiny was why the US needed to expand via conflict, good bartering, and/or “God’s Will”.
    Oooops …. those deer are impacting “me” via, shall we call it counterinsurgency/gerrymandering/resource competition/etc. …. so will it be diplomacy, payoff, or force??
    Sounds like good old free enterprise and Mother Nature to me!!!
    AND …. Mother nature takes the long view and always wins!!

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      JD, I feel the neighbors’ pain. They spent a lot of time and money setting up a stylish back yard for themselves and the kidlets, a place for play, relaxation, and occasional entertainment, and all of a sudden Ma Nature comes a-calling with her kinfolk.

      “Howdy, neighbor! What’s for dinner? Never mind, I see the buffet is already set up. Let’s get at it, kids!”

      We’re less invested in our yard, and living where we do we expect the occasional four-legged visitor here. We moved into their neighborhood, not the other way around.

      That being said, we’re thinking about making our yard less attractive by making it less of a water hog. We have too much lawn for the upper Chihuahuan Desert, where water is scarce and will become even more so. We need to interview a few landscapers, see what we can do about reducing the size of the straw we sup from.

  2. Pat O’Brien Says:

    You need a dog. Then again, if you like watching them, you don’t need anything.

  3. Dave Watts Says:

    Sorry about your unwanted guests, PO’G. They do look quite content out there, don’t they? This reminds me that the 20 foot electric fence needs to be erected around our just-planted vegetable garden again. You never know when giraffes might wander by.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      You should see some of the contraptions folks devise in the ’hood to keep Bambi out of their proud-ofs. I haven’t seen any 20-foot electric fences yet, but I have seen a few setups that made Stalag 17 look like a Montessori playground.

  4. SAOO' Says:

    Is the emergency on the southern border I keep hearing about?

  5. Herb from Michigan Says:

    We learned fast and hard when we moved to the countryside that if you plan it, pay for it, plant it and fuss over it-the white tail deer will come in droves and eat it. Or not. I watched a doe one fine morning pull up flower after flower after flower that were planted the day before. And spit out each and every one of them even though they were all the exact same. Ptooey! she said. Wife came out later and screamed seeing the destruction of the previous day’s labor. And after that we only planted things deer won’t eat which is a pretty narrow group.Daffodils and day lilies survive ok but only bloom for short times here.

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