Having a blast, wish you weren’t here

Countdown to coffee. 10, 9, 8. …

Sort of a mixed message, isn’t it?

Some of us contemplate replacing our gas appliances and infernal-combustion vehicles with electrical gizmos, whizbangs, and comosellamas in order to help stave off (or at least slow down) global environmental catastrophe.

Meanwhile, in one go, a single wealthy narcissist can spray Mother Earth with a money shot of 15 million pounds of liquid methane-oxygen propellant, a jillion bits of shrapnel from an exploding 120-foot-long dick-missile, and uncounted gigatons of Texas sand, soil, and Christ only knows what … and then call it a learning experience.

I know what I’ve learned. My little electric kettle ain’t gonna git the cattle to Abilene, is what.

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13 Responses to “Having a blast, wish you weren’t here”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    I went to an environmental change seminar given here in the City Indifferent, taught by someone I vaguely knew from Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute, which was one of our main competitors for grant money when I was in the School of Ocean and Earth Science and Technology at the U of Hawaii. He put up a bar graph, in tons of CO2 or something, of the ways to cut down our individual contributions to global change. The biggest by a long shot was “don’t have American kids”. We checked that box, as I think you did as well.

    The rest is dribs and drabs, especially, as you say, the rich are exempt from flying in private planes or blowing up huge dick-rockets. So my old gas stove and Old Belchfire in the driveway can stay there until they run to failure. If I haven’t also run to failure by then, I’ll consider one of those newfangled electric gizmos and whatchamacallits.

    And mark my word, if Sleepy Joe and his goofy sidekick Martin Heinrich get their way and we all plug our cars, home heat exchangers, and stoves into the grid at once, it will pop the national circuit breakers faster than you can say “stop global warming!” We really have to cut down our ravenous First World appetite for More and More Shit, not look for a magic bullet that does not exist.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Sheeeyit, I blew a breaker mowing a tall lawn on a low setting once. I can only imagine what might happen when I plug in my flying Tesla SpaceX RV while Herself is arguing over wifi with the LaundryBot 9000™ about what temperature is suitable for recycled baby virgin capilene base layers as Miss Mia watches The Cat Channel on the Apple TV 4K 3D.

  2. khal spencer Says:

    “…the rich are exempt from restrictions of flying in private planes or blowing up huge dick-rockets…”

  3. stan thomas Says:

    To make a space omlette you have to break space X…

  4. Pat O’Brien Says:

    We don’t drive much, and we are trying to drive even less. We don’t fly anymore except for one more trip to Seattle to see Andy and Liz using a left over voucher from the pandemic. We also have no children. I use a counter top toaster/convection oven/air fryer or solar oven (Sun Oven brand) instead of the gas oven. The only thing missing are rooftop solar panels, but the cost is still a little steep for us. I still boil the kettle on the gas stove top for the morning pour over coffee.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I’d like to try one of those countertop cookers — I always feel silly cranking up one of our two big ol’ Whirlpool electric ovens to reheat some leftovers that a microwave will just turn into mush.

      But we’re running out of countertop real estate. The coffee machinery is cutting into my prep space next to the KitchenAid gas cooktop, and our old GE microwave eats up most of the countertop between the LG fridge and the electric ovens. The ridiculous Cuisinart toaster sits to the left of the sinks along with our Acu-Rite weather doodad; boy, do you need to crack the whip to make that toaster do a day’s work. You will look far and wide before you find a less useful piece of kitchen machinery.

  5. psobrien O’Brien Says:

    Speaking of Musk, he is going to fill up near earth space with too many satellites. This has many scientists, other space users, and astronomers worried about chain reaction collisions. Other countries are also trying to launch large constellations of satellites for many purposes including internet connection services. There is no coordinated international space traffic control center. Does Musk care? I doubt it. Check out the Kessler Syndrome.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Dump it up there, dump it down here … dude ought to go into waste management. I guess waste dispersal is waste management, after a fashion, yeah?

    • Shawn Says:

      I suspect Musk cares, but he realizes that until there is a satellite governance mandate, he is making sure he gets his feet up there.

      Regarding that “rumor”, I believe that he is in negotiations with that large waste disposal company to create a dumpster that will be used to capture old satellites in space. Once filled up, it fires retro rockets that cause it to drop out of orbit into the sea near a scrap material handling port. The Starship is designed to accommodate one of the new cylindrical dumpster designs. I think the first launch of Dumpster One is scheduled for 2026 just after Tesla’s space launched car falls into the sun. At least that’s what I heard anyway. Tucker are you listening?

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Maybe E. Lawn can forge a partnership with the Vogons. They share a motto, after all.

        • Shawn Says:

          Musk is a Vogon! I knew it.

          It is interesting to consider that if an alien life form were to visit earth and take the guise of a human, to wonder who they would be: Elon, yes; Trump, yes; Vlad de Putin, dah; Sarah Palin, you betcha; David Bowie, no but they sure wish they would have copied the mold.

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