Clif Bar has killed off two of my favorite Bloks flavors, Citrus and Cran-Razz.
Of course, that’s not how Clif — owned since August 2022 by Mondelez International — phrases it. Clif says these flavors are “retired.”
“Retired,” me bollocks. I’m retired. But I’m still available. Wave a fistful of greenbacks at me and see what happens.
Hel-lo, sailor. …
Mad Blog Media 
I’m far more primitive. Cliff Bars.
I must be a REAL knuckle dragger, because I prefer regular food.
Clif Bars have gotten a little sugary for me; same goes for Fig Newtons and their imitators.
Have you tried the Taos Bakes bars? These are my favorite. I don’t take ’em on rides, but I will use ’em as a light preride breakfast if I’m feeling rushed.
I used to make little mini-sammiches of almond butter and jam, slip ’em into a baggie so the jersey pocket doesn’t get all sticky. I might go back to that because the Bloks are getting a little pricey.
I don’t know if it was related but right after Cliff sold, they discontinued the coffee collection, and bars with 25 mg of caffeine that we were addicted to. First of all, they were less sweet and the rest of the bars. But also, the half cup of coffee’s worth of go juice who is perfect for a little tykes with ADHD, who had a 7 PM hockey game. They have a bar with a Gatorade in the car on their way to the rink, made a huge difference in their focus at that time of the night
It’s a bitch, innit? You find something you like and boom, off it goes.
I have a pair of Maxxis Raze tires on one of my Eurocrosses and I love that rubber. It’s perfect for the conditions down here. And does Maxxis make them anymore? Of course not.
A First World Problem, to be sure. But still, damn.
For about 30 years, when last years’s Gel-Kayanos went on sale, I’d buy four pair. When I got down to the last pair, I’d start looking for another sale.
Somewhere along the way, my feet changed or they change the foot bed or something. Been happy in Brooks for the last 10 years. And don’t have the space to hoard like I used to.
I’m partial to the Piñon + Coffee bar … goes well with a cup of…
(I like a little extra coffee with my coffee)
What’s that? You’re really saying that you wish you had a box of original PowerBars around? You know*, the pre-powdered ones that you could wrap around your bars when riding.
Regarding bloks, I love those things but for some reason I’m a cheapskate and haven’t purchased a lot of them. But in comparison to the previously mentioned gut-bomb of an energy bar mentioned above, they are great. Typically when I’m out riding I really don’t care what flavor it is that I’m ingesting. I’m just happy to be getting the calories. “Yummm, beet flavor”.
*Regarding the text “You know” above, I use it because it is a filler phrase that I despise the use of in spoken language. I’ve heard enough of it used today that I thought I’d burden your column with my whining. You know?
Remember trying to eat a PowerBar on a cold winter morning? It was like gnawing on your minipump.
Yes. You could use them as a hammer. The only good thing about PowerBars was that they fit easily into a jersey pocket.
Power bars were also awesome if you happen to run out of J D Weld or needed to join some PVC pipe.
I was wondering if Flex Tape was a product of a bunch of PowerBars discovered in a Nuclear Fallout Shelter where they had been stored away there before the Berlin Wall came down.
Do they still make the OG power bars? I always assumed they were made by dentists who needed the business replacing fillings.
Primitive? I’m not sure I’ve ever had one of those things. I always thought Fig Newtons were about perfect for the purpose and never saw a reason to try anything else.
Remember Fizzies? They were flavored tabs you dropped into your ice water to create a fizzy (duh) sugary drink back in the 50’s and 60’s. I’m still waiting for someone to produce Beer Fizzies for adding to your water bottles. Or Chablis Fizzies for those long July rides.
How about Rosé Fizzies, from La Vielle Ferme? Boy, Herself would go for that like a shot. That’s her favorite budget rosé. We call it “chicken wine” for the clucker on the label.
Worked with the army’s senior master diver, a dude from Kauaʻi who is one of the funniest guys ever met, who said they used to use fig newtons and Gatorade on their 3 Mile open water swims. Take a gallon Ziploc bag, put a sleeve a fig newtons in there, fill it halfway with Gatorade, zip it up, match into paste. Then when they got to the turnaround point, they would tread water, take out the Ziploc bag, rip a small hole in it, and shoot the gunk into their mouth like they were piping icing on a wedding cake.
Wow! That sounds interesting. I think though that it would simply be better to be hydrated and wait until after the swim to replenish the calories.
Try replacing the Clif Bloks with Welch’s Fruit Snacks.
I don’t know how they compare Calorie, nutrient, or sugar-wise, but they’re brutally addictive, not just for their flavor but they’ve got a perfect chewy texture!
Looks like the Welch’s Fruit Snacks are comparable to the Clif Bloks in terms of calories, carbs, sugars, sodium, etc. Welch’s doesn’t claim to be organic and has a number of the usual suspects — corn syrup, modified corn starch, modified tapioca starch, natural and artificial flavors, red 40, and blue 1 — but what the hell, both Welch’s and Clif are owned by candy companies (Pim Brands and Mondelez International). So we may be splitting hairs here, sports-nutrition-wise.
somebody smarter than me pointed out that other than maybe some B vitamins and extra salt, gummy bears, and power gel blocks are all about the same.
Then you can get the 55 gallon drum of black forest organic gummy bears at Costco
A few years back I checked out the ingredients of gummy bears vs. gel bloks and discovered the same thing. Man those gummy bears sure are good.
And add some peanut butter to a tub of frosting and you basically have Gu.
If someone smarter than all of us would just invent a green chile chicken enchilada bar and a Pacifico-flavored hydration drink we’d get more people on bikes. Or maybe they’d just snack on ’em while watching the Barbie movie in their La-Z-Boys.
Add green chile to anything and I’ll buy a case.
What’s that you say? A green chili Frappuccino? Make mine a flumenti or whatever made up Italian sounding word they’re using for extra extra large
I think I sent Clif a dozen letters, using good, old-fashioned paper and postage stamps, asking for a bacon cream cheese everything bagel bar
O, man, bagels. There was a local chain in Bibleburg, Lots A’ Bagels, that did what I thought was a decent bagel. (A potato-ater from the flyover suburbs would not recognize a proper bagel if it bought him a shot of Jameson with a beer back, but in my appalling ignorance I thought these were pretty damn a’ight.)
I’d buy a sack to take home and our group ride occasionally swung by the Cheyenne Mountain location to refuel with bagel sammiches after the long ride south to Penrose and back. Yum yum gimme some.
Raisins are good. I like the golden ones. The little individual boxes are easy to stash in bike bags or jersey pockets. Or, put them into a zip lock snack bag.
You ever try those big ol’ flame raisins? I buy those in bulk from Sprouts (plus some dried cranberries) to augment the morning oatmeal. They’re like baby prunes.
I’ll have to try them. I like raisins because they have 100 calories but enough fiber to not upset your stomach. Sweet drinks and sport energy shots upset my stomach and didn’t seem to last very long. Mix in a few pretzels for sodium and Bob’s your uncle!
For long stretches of exertion, I use the Hammer Nutrition bars. Taste good not real sweet. Back in the day Sans knee replacement, I used The caffeinated version of the Bloks, got me through the Missoula Marathon and a Helena Montana century ride. But any more not out over two (2) hours so water works.