The reports of a squadron of heavily armed Bentley Flying Spur medium-heavy bombers targeting the United States from a top-secret Canadian base seem to have been slightly exaggerated, if by “slightly exaggerated” we mean “fabricated out of whole cloth.”
“This confirms our worst fear: the explosion at Rainbow Bridge was a terrorist attack.” — Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Insult My Wife, Please)
“Today’s apparent terrorist attack must be a wake-up call to all Americans.” — Rep. Byron Donalds (R-Finance, Insurance & Banking)
“So it begins. We need to lock down the borders immediately. Full deportation efforts need to begin. The U.S. does not need to be the world’s hospitality suite any longer.” — Rep. Anna Paulina Luna (R-Ashkenazi Catholicism)
Yes, a 2022 Bentley Flying Spur exploded at the Rainbow Bridge connecting the United States and Canada. Yes, two people died. And yes, many more people freaked the fuck out, thanks in large measure to (wait for it) the 101st Half Cocked Rapid Response Team at Faux News (h/t Charles P. Pierce at Esquire).
And then, the other combat boot dropped:
“But the FBI and other assisting agencies concluded within hours that the explosion was not a terrorist act and rather a terrible accident – possibly caused by a medical incident or a vehicle malfunction,” reported The Buffalo News, adding, “In 2021, the Australian government issued a limited recall of Bentleys over problems with the accelerator getting stuck.”
A medical incident. The accelerator getting stuck. The case handed over to local police as a traffic investigation.
Well. That’s entirely different, as Emily Litella might say.
Down here in our little corner of The Duck! City we have some small experience with airborne motor vehicles.
At least thrice in nine years some leadfooted yahoo who failed to grasp the concept that all roads eventually must end has rocketed up Comanche and through the stop sign at Camino de la Sierra only to find the pavement replaced with what appears to be, and in fact is, a short dirt ramp that launches them and their cobbled-together street-racing shitbox through a wire fence and into the cacti-and-rock-studded base of the Sandia Mountains after a brief flight of, oh, I don’t know, three to six feet.
The Wright Brothers did better than that in 1903, and they were just a couple of bike jockeys who took the scenic route to what their descendants would call “hucking,” “getting big air,” or “shredding the gnar.”
So we have never considered going to DEFCON 3 over it. Of course, none of our local test pilots has ever been incinerated. That we know of, anyway. Also, our little wire fence isn’t at an international border, and we don’t dream of it becoming a Wall.
Mad Blog Media 
Give teddy a paddle ball in lieu of pay. And, get a harumph from that guy.
Yea, we should steam roller old hoser teddy, heh?
Last time Andy and Liz visited they told me they had never watched “Strange Brew.” It was my duty to educate them in fine comedy.
Don’t forget to show them the old “Great White North” skits from SCTV. Beauty, eh? Take off, you knob.
I never listen to FAUX News, but I still heard plenty of panic ensuing from the Kamakazi Bentley courtesy of normal slightly less yellow news channels, including Gov. Hochul peeing down her leg and various other functionaries shitting their drawers. Why? Because we always expect the worst. An explosion. No, not from high explosives, but from an airborne ranger of some sort in a fancy car.
We had something similar down to here when a group of knuckleheads beefing on social media started throwing hands in MeatWorld, specifically, the Coronado Center, and one of them — a 14-year-old, according to the Journal — yanked out the old John Roscoe.
Holy hell, from the chatter on Buttface and NextDoor you’d have thought Hamas was running amok in the mall. “Active shooter,” etc. “When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream, and shout.”
One gun, one round, was the “upshot” of that. And the round appears to have been fired outside.
Herself loves the NextDoor for the comedy. It’s the hot new source for ignorant, racist and inaccurate news nuggets.
Collection of wrong-headed, opportunistic rants about the Rainbow Bridge fatal accident.
https://www.meidastouch.com/news/screen-shots-of-republicans-who-lied-about-a-terrorist-attack
Charlie Pierce had a good collection in his weekly message from The Shebeen as well. It hasn’t gone live yet on his Politics blog, but when it does I’ll add the link. There is no shame in these people. Black is white, up is down, hot is cold, true is false — whatever advances their agenda.
The hair trigger, bizarre rethug responses in light of limited info and contradictory reports is so disturbing even if predictable.
Wasn’t just Republicans. All the bridges in that area were briefly shut down as normally rational people worried about terrorism. NY Times, hardly a right wing screed, covered some of it. I heard the first story on NPR and given I’m originally from Buffalo, it caught my attention.
Yeah, but the legit news outlets like NYT came off the accelerator real quick, once they realized they’d gone over the top. That story came right off the homepage so fast, you’d think the digital editor was Joe Stalin, who had a heavy hand with the airbrush.
No more “live” updates, no more frenzied speculation about this, that, and the other. The last story I saw from NYT was a Motor Trend-style piece describing the Bentley Flying Spur and suggesting that a contrail the thing left in its wake suggested the driver was alert and trying like hell to slow that beast down before, well … you know.
True. The rational media backed off fast. “Flying Spur”, eh? I guess bad choice of names for a car after this episode.
Right you are Libby. It is disturbing, predictable, and designed to frighten and anger stupid people with a 15 minute attention span.
15 minutes? That long? But what if Trump farts in the meantime? I just can’t do it. Now what was that you were talking about?
I was reading that the “attack” came from the American side of the border in NY, not Ontario.
Some of the original “reporting” had it coming from Canada, loaded with explosives. People make mistakes on these things, even seasoned reporters and editors, but when too many of your sources are (a) social media and/or (2) the clinically insane, a few extra errors are likely to creep into the coverage.
And with digital publishing, you can erase the evidence of your wandering aimlessly around the journalistical landscape. No more “DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN!” front pages for posterity unless someone grabs a screen shot of the fuckup.
For chrissakes! I need to get back into reading the news. So Dewey won over Give ‘Em Hell Harry? Well that changes everything….all this time I thought I had the Presidents lined up properly in order.
A couple of them should definitely be lined up, if we can find a suitable Wall. But the Secret Service might have issues with that sort of definitive truth-and-reconcilation program.
Meanwhile, I’m not sure I can recommend reading the “news.” I’ve been revisiting some old Hunter S. Thompson screeds, and while I wish he were still around to address the various ongoing Crimes Against the Republic, I’m not certain even the legendary Doktor could keep up.
The reply feature is not working again unless you format it into a paragraph or list in a small box.
Right you are, Paddy me boyo. The wizards told me on the 19th that they had “an open bug report” going on the issue. I’ll remind them of it.
Thank you you hoser.
Annoying, iddn’t it? It’s what dealing with the WordPress Block Editor is like. Intuitive it is not. Like popular Christmas tunes played at top volume in the grocery store early on Monday morning, it makes me want to hurt someone.
It is my opinion that social media, in all it’s guises, could go away tomorrow. In six months no one would miss it except the advertisers, thieves, hucksters, the truly addicted, and billionaire brats. Like some pol said recently, it’s digital fentanyl, especially for kids; musk and zuck are more like drug dealers than businessmen.
Yeah, for reals. Social media is a scab that everyone picks, especially journos, who still think it’s a useful tool, same as they think the Orange Fella is a normal candidate for the presidency and should be covered as same. These festering wounds in the national hide will not heal until we leave them alone.
Word.
Gotta link to this old standby:
https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/revisionist-history/blame-game
(999 times out of 1,000 it’s the driver and not the car)
O, fo’ troo. You just can’t beat pilot error. And anymore it’s tough for the pilot to blame the vehicle, with all its sensors, computers, and black boxes ready and eager to rat out the filthy Meat-Thing at the drop of a query.
I recall a “car took off on it’s own” story told to me by my brother once. He had been driving our Dad’s Ford T-Bird on his way home from a social gathering that had involved some drinking, and suddenly the V8 under the hood got a life of it’s own. I’m sure the drinking in that story had nothing to do with the AI takeover of the rapidly speeding car. Fortunately my brother recalled that the car had a big pedal near the floor that when pressed aided the stopping of the vehicle. Yes, those self-thinking vehicles can be dangerous.
I had a truck take off on me once, but I wasn’t behind the wheel at the time.
Some friends and I had been driving around town, drinking whiskey and smoking weed, when we decided to take five at a local tavern for some beers and foosball. I was behind the wheel for no good reason that I can recall — especially since it wasn’t my truck.
Now, I don’t know if this was a feature of the 1960 Chevy Apache panel truck in general, or this vehicle in particular, but if you didn’t turn the key all the way to the left, locking the ignition, before removing the key, the ignition could be operated without the key.
It’s possible that I may have missed this crucial step in the parking-and-locking sequence.
Thus, when we came back out for more whiskey, weed, and happy motoring, well … none of these were available to us. The Apache had left the rez.
This made for a couple uncomfortable days for Your Humble Narrator, as I had (a) a very unhappy friend, and (2) no money to compensate him for a missing and beloved 1960 Chevy Apache panel truck.
Happily, the gods took pity on me. The cops found the truck a couple days later, not far from where it had gone walkabout. Our weed and whiskey were gone, but otherwise it was in fine shape, or whatever shape it was in before the joyrider(s) lifted it.
I don’t recall ever driving that panel truck again.
I used to like to launch my Honda CB450 over any bit of pavement that had a proper launch angle. There was a railroad track crossing near my parents home that had a nice, aggressive takeoff angle to climb over the tracks. I worked it up to about 75 mph and flew over a car but hit a crosswind that got the bike a little bit sideways. Got to Mom and Stepdad’s place, changed underwear, and decided not to do that again.
An Awful Khalaful moment huh?