I haven’t had a good hard sock in the snotlocker since the Before-Time, when I was shambling around half -drunk among the sneezers, wheezers and squeezers infesting the Interbike trade show in Sin City, chronicling the ups and downs of the bicycle biz for one magazine or another.
But I got one this fall, the sort that requires medical intervention, and just in time for the 2024 pestilential erection, too.
A daily fistful of antibiotics and steroids may cure what ails the sinuses but doesn’t do shit for the psyche as the electorate inexplicably sends the Clown Prince of Mar-a-Lago and his battalion of bozos back to the Oval Office to finish the job of putting the Republic up on blocks and stripping it for salable parts.
I can’t find a physician’s assistant who’ll write me a ’scrip for mescaline, psilocybin, or Old Reliable, the fabled L-S-Dizzy, not even at urgent care. And oy, is this ever a case for urgent care.
So I guess we’ll have to rely on talk therapy. Which means – yes, yes, yes —it’s time for another dose of Radio Free Dogpatch. Sorry; doctor’s orders. Look on the bright side — it’s not a suppository.
• Technical notes: Still rocking the Ethos mic from Earthworks Audio; Audio-Technica ATH-M50X headphones; Zoom H5 Handy Recorder; Apple’s GarageBand, and Auphonic for a sonic massage. I lifted the opening and closing bits from The Firesign Theatre’s classic “How Can You Be in Two Places At Once When You’re Not Anywhere At All.” The clip from “Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber,” with Steve Martin and Bill Murray, comes from” Saturday Night Live.” The background music, “Abandoned,” comes from Zapsplat. All the other bad noise is courtesy of Your Humble Narrator.
Mad Blog Media 
Well, the Onion bought Infowars. So, there’s that.
I saw that. The new owners hope to make it “a very funny, very stupid website.” It’s already the latter, so they’re halfway there.
Can you see my fist raised in solidarity? That’s right….it’s the one SURE bet that going to trade shows in Lost Wages will bring forth the cooties. I sometimes made 4 appearances per year there and too many sinus infections to count. Of course unlike you I flew and that can bring new crud into your snout no matter where you’re going. I tells ya POG, no sir I don’t miss either that town or flying every 3 weeks. Interbike brought overseas bugs in since so many came from all over the globe and I’m sure trading germs went both ways. Course….tipping back too many distilled beverages and thumbing your nose at getting proper sleep does lead to …..well…hand me another kleenex will ya?
The only thing I miss is the camaraderie, Herb old sniffler. We ink-stained wretches didn’t get to see much of each other save at events like Aqua Rodent (Sea Otter) or Interbike. The show was an excellent chance to get a little face time. Also, and too, free meals, free drinks, etc.
The show really started to suck for me when it belly-flopped at Mandalay Bay, and all of us were suddenly staying in the Luxor, enduring the smoke-filled march from the hotel through the casino and shopping mall to the show and back a couple times a day. I preferred the Sands Expo and camping at the non-casino, no-smoking Fairfield Inn at Sands and Paradise. I could hit the Starbucks across the street, digitize my cartoon for the Show Daily at the Fedex Office, color it on the MacBook with a second cuppa back at the room, squeeze in a short run in the office park, and then walk to the show.
Patrick
For what it’s worth. I am a BIG proponent of the NeilMed saline nasal rinse on a daily basis. Its helped significantly reduce sinus infections and my seasonal allergies 🤧
Make It a Great Day,
Michael Porter
麥可波特
+1-971-570-1960
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw
Mike, I know a few folks who go the neti-pot route but it just gives me the willies. I don’t wanna have to call a union plumber to snake out my brain-box if it all goes pear-shaped.
My podiatrist warned me that I had damaged a joint in one of my toes. Found out the hard way yesterday that running ain’t the fun it used to be. Ouch, owww…yow.
Good times, hey? Maybe not. I have various snaps, crackles and pops going on as I “run” (a runner wouldn’t call it “running”) and often there’s a touch of light discomfort during and/or afterward.
I guess I endure it because it’s such a convenient, portable form of exercise. Minimal equipment required, no membership necessary.
Also, it seems to help with climbing out of the saddle. Running, even at low speed/mileage, seems to enhance whatever muscles come into play whilst “dancing on the pedals.” So I keep on limping along.
I guess limping along with a swollen toe at least means I am still on this side of the grass. Might have to limp over to the podiatrist if it doesn’t improve, but it should not interfere with bicycling. At least if I use a shoe with a big toe box.
Thanks for the Dogpatch. Your elocutions are relaxing to listen to. Did you ever think about radio in the past?
As for the infection(s), I sure hope the New Mexico sun drys you out so that your odor detector is primed for good food eating later this month.
Regarding the majority of the low voting turnout this past week, the white space below is populated with an infinite amount of white text profanity. If I wasn’t aware of human history, I would be amazed. Gaetz? Kennedy? Holy f…..
Thanks back atcha, Hoss. Yup, I fiddled with audio way back in “high” school, when a friend worked at a small local radio station. A few of us fiddled around with reel-to-reel recorders and whatnot, inspired by The Firesign Theatre.
I took a radio-production class in college, too, but never went so far as to try to land a gig at the campus radio station. The class required each of us to cobble together a half-hour of radio, and my show was Firesign from beginning to end. News, ads, features, weather, the works. I don’t recall the grade I got for it, but I used to do shit like that all the time to work my way around various obstacles — turn in cartoons instead of term papers, videos instead of class presentations, etc. — and if nothing else I usually got credit for being an imaginative slacker.
This served me well in my “professional” life.