I hear His Excremency has a rash.
No, not diaper rash. Though he probably has that too. This rash would be a little higher, something like the fabled “ring around the collar,” if by “ring” you mean something that looks like a wicked case of contact dermatitis, late-stage syphilis, shingles, or as one Internet comedian (not me) surmised, “The Evil trying to get out before he dies.”
If it is a Hickey from Hell, do you suppose this means that he and the Devil are going steady? I would’ve thought Old Scratch could do better than this burned-out old hoor, but there’s no accounting for taste. Maybe he’s getting bad advice from Jeffrey Epstein, who must still be irked about getting whacked in jail.
I think of stuff like this in the dead of night instead of sleeping so you can get a good night’s rest. You’re welcome.
March has already been awash in dire portents and we’re not even three full days in yet.
I bought a block of my favorite Kerrygold cheese, their Blarney variety (because Irish, blarney, etc.) and its expiration date was 03/27 — my birthday!
We’ve had two consecutive days of high-temperature records — 79° on Sunday and 80° yesterday, with special guest appearances by particulates and pollen (juniper, elm, oak, cottonwood, and ash) — followed by a full lunar eclipse of the Worm Moon, which makes it a Blood Moon.
And of course we have the war on Iran. I don’t know why The Pestilence felt it necessary to go all the way to Iran to kill Americans when he’s been so successful at that right here at home. Whatever happened to America First?
The body count’s not high enough yet to distract his base from the sudden jump — soo-prise, soo-prise, soo-prise — in gas prices. But they’re bound to take notice after the next few fill-ups.
Nothing to see here, move along, move along. I’m sure His Excremency will be sending Kuwait a bill for the $300 million in F-15E Strike Eagles they shot down the other day, and equally certain that he’ll be sharing that windfall with the rest of us.
That’s the news — and now, here’s Asmodeus with the weather!
“Folks, we may be in the End Times, but don’t expect any end to this heat! The Dark Lord has the Lake of Fire at a rolling boil, and we expect Hell to remain unfrozen for the better part of … well, forever! Back to you, Patrick!”
Mad Blog Media 
I hear it’s lie-amydia
Maybe “Don-orrhea?” He does love putting his name on everything. And his scabby little dingus in everything.
Pretty sure that rash is caused by the subject constantly sticking their head up their ass… tight sphincter syndrome.
You’d think they could give him a rose-colored bellybutton so he could see where he’s going … and where he’s taking us.
I don’t suppose he much cares about that second part.
My guess is the bird flu, turkey variant. It puts a rash on your wattle.
Does it ever get better, or did Bruce Cockburn get it right?
“That’s just the way it is. …”
I believe that rash comes from the choker collar that Putin has Stevie Boy Miller put on tRump every night. And then Miller yanks the leash tight in the wee hours to get whistledick to start sending out inane tweets. What else could explain those crazed rants?
BTW I’m told that your cheese is one of the few getable good ones from non factory farm dairy herds. Got some in the fridge right now . My fav are aged Gouda from Aldi but I can’t get confirmation on the milk source. Despite being avid cyclist, the Dutch are not known for being particularly sensitive to ruinous farming and fishing practices that they employ.
I like most of the Derrygold cheeses, Herb y’ould cheddarhead. I’ve not big on their Dubliner, but the Blarney, Reserve Cheddar, Aged Cheddar, and Skellig are all delicious, on a cracker, in a taco or quesadilla, grated over chile or a pizza (a combo of Blarney and Skellig makes a great combo for pizza).
Cheddar on a pizza? You must be Irish or something….
Cheddar goes great with ham and fresh pineapple.
The Blarney is a Gouda-style cheese, while the Skellig is a sweetish cheddar, and they go surprisingly well with a tomato sauce (augmented with chopped black olives and Chimayo red chile powder, of course) on the Vicolo cornmeal shells we like.