On this date in 1990 Herself and I embarked on the perilous journey of discovery that puts divorce lawyers in next year’s Maseratis.
They said it would never last, and after she got the LASIK surgery I was certain they’d be proven right.
Nevertheless, here we are, 36 years down that rocky ol’ road of marital blisters and with hardly any scars at all. Visible to the casual observer, that is.
Only half of the happy couple is showing the years and mileage, which is odd, because he’s the one who spent all that time palling around with the Devil. But the dumb sonofabitch was never worth a damn at wealth management — the kind of chump who thought a CD was something by Tom Waits that you slipped into the player of an ’83 Toyota longbed between bumps off the back of one hand and stealthy nips from the bottle in the other while steering with the knees and one bloodshot eye on the rear-view mirror — so whatever he got for that beat-to-shit 1954 soul has long since been pissed away.
And knowing him, chances are it wasn’t eternal youth and beauty anyway. More like another 8-ball and a case of Pacifico. Talk about your cheap dates.
Ol’ Nick probably doesn’t even want to take possession at this point.
“Holy hell, clock the state of Himself, would ye? Looks like the south end of a northbound ghoul. Make a freight train take a dirt road, that would. Shit, he even scares me. Maybe I’ll delay collection on this one, take Stephen Miller for practice.”
So, sorry, Toots. Looks like you’re stuck with me for a while yet. Next time you’re playing blackjack with the gang down at the animal shelter, maybe check your cards before yelping, “Aw, what the hell! Hit me!”
Mad Blog Media 
Congrats, and many more, Patrick and Shannon!
So where are the wedding pictures?
That shot is from the post-wedding bash at our Romero Street digs in Fanta Se, across the street from The Ark bookstore.
This here is the classic “Holy hell, we done did it!’ shot.
Congrats, PO’G and Herself! May you enjoy many more years together! My bride and I just passed 57 years as a duo ….. life is good, eh?! 🙂
Congrats back at you, señor. I’m a very lucky dog indeed. If Herself hadn’t popped round to adopt me Dog only knows where I might’ve wound up. We began reinventing ourselves almost immediately, caught some lucky breaks, and bounced back from a few bad ones. I’m hardly an unbiased observer, but I think we made most of the right moves — which is just about the best anybody can hope for.
A Fine Time it appears to be ! It seems that perhaps both of you made a great choice. Good on ya’s and may there be many more. Congratulations.
If I find that video of John Prine singing Unforgettable I’ll be sure to forward it on for your Anniversary enjoyment.
Thankee, Shawn. John Prine is always welcome around this ol’ holey state of macaroni.
Congratulations Patrick and Shannon. And, we both don’t have to lock up the kitchen knives at night! Beauty, heh?
Lock up the kitchen knives and that N frame, too?
We got an old Wagner Ware cast-iron skillet would do the trick without much fuss and Herself could make cornbread in it afterward for the funeral shindig.
We have a bunch of La Creuset pans and a cast iron wok that should be registered as deadly weapons.
I have a La Creuset dutch oven that would make an excellent helmet come The Revolution.
“Pan shot!”
I hated that movie. I would rather watch “The Toxic Avenger” twice than endure that one again. I would have turned it off or walked out, but we were guests at someone’s house and stuck it out.
If you really like Tim Blake Nelson, try “Old Henry.”
Tim Blake Nelson is good in everything. “O Brother Where Art Thou” was the first time I recall seeing him. He was solid in “Watchmen” and “The Lowdown.”
“Old Henry” I haven’t seen. We’ll have to check that out.
Another guy I’ll watch in anything is Stephen Root, who also did a turn in “O Brother.” I’d watch him reading the Beijing phone book. In Yiddish.
Agree! That’s why Mr. Root gets so much work. Much is on TV series, and we haven’t watched TV series for years and years. It’s funny I don’t like “Buster Scruggs” but like “Idiocracy”, “Fargo”, and “Oh Brother.”
“Old Henry” is an old Western movie muck like “Unforgiven.” I can’t imagine any one else playing that part.
“Unforgiven” was quite a piece of work. Clint Eastwood may be a right-wing sonofabitch, but I have enjoyed more than a few of his movies.
Meanwhile, Mr. Root is in a new Apple TV project, “Widow’s Bay.” A reviewer for The New Republic was impressed.
Congratulations 36 us a great number
Thank you, sir. I find it damn near impossible to believe. If we’d had a kid straight away s/he/they would be old enough to run for president. Let that thought keep you awake for a night or two.
Geez all this talk about violence with kitchen tools. I’m more focused on…all…that…hair! Early on, you two must have spent your savings on conditioner and such. Congratulations are truly in order for two fine examples of what can be with a little (ok..a LOT) of effort.
I was mostly using Scotch spray adhesive to keep what hair I still had covering that vast expanse of skull. It was like trying to hold the southern border with a squad of Cub Scouts from Searchlight, Nevada.
Congratulations. We should all be so skilled at navigating the perils of pairing off. Surviving AND thriving. To be envied indeed.
Gracias, hombre. That we stayed married through those first few years remains nothing short of miraculous. Quitting our jobs in Fanta Se and moving into my mom’s house in B-burg after she started slipping into dementia was a tough way to start a life together. I could not — would not — have done that alone. I would’ve lost my mind. I nearly did anyway.
I eventually got the whole freelance choo-choo chugging along, while Herself went back to school for a master’s and left the old retail hustle behind for good. She really reinvented herself, while I just kept doing what I had always done, but without actually accepting full-time employment. For some reason employers and I seemed to get along better when we only saw each other a couple times a year.
Couldn’t have done it without her. She’s definitely the senior partner in our little firm.