A brief roundup as we circle the drain:
• Fake news: A truth deficit when it comes to trade.
• Brass balls? Nope, those are gold.
• I am the Walrus: Th’ hell is a walrus doing hanging around a swamp? I thought climate change was a Chinese hoax.
And now, the good news: That water bottle on your downtube? Turns out it’s the Fountain of Youth.
Hasta la Vista, baby?
Man, they just can’t keep a piano player in this whorehouse, can they?
Doesn’t seem to have hurt business, though. And maybe Jared can try singing whenever he’s not serving up that old-fashioned love. Give those rug burns a chance to heal, son.
Hey, Ben, I got a chair for you right here. It’s down in the basement too. You must’ve missed it when you were hunting bargains for that office redecoration.
• Extra Credit Bonus Inappropriate Content: The Ass Pounder 4000. Includes special bicycle-related humor!
“I really believe I’d run in, even if I didn’t have a weapon.” — Bruce Whine, a.k.a. Fatman.
