OK, I think I’ve got this whole Ted Cruz/five women thing figured out:
• One to sprinkle pepper on his crotch.
• One to listen for the poor little thing to sneeze.
• One to locate it through the magnifying glass.
• One to grab it with the tweezers.
• And, of course, one to leak the whole sordid tale to the National Enquirer.
Ho, ho. Texas Ted Cruz, the Gucci Shitkicker, who never saw a line he wouldn’t cross, wants to get Western with Ronald McDonald Trump over a perceived insult to his special lady.
What’s it gonna be, fellas? Secret Service details at 50 paces? Or maybe it’s Cruz getting all “West Side Story” with his monogrammed Harvard Law letter opener while Il Douche defends with a gang of undocumented Eastern European laborers erecting a yuuuuuuuuge wall of Chinese bricks purchased with someone else’s money.
“Spouses are generally seen as off limits,” says The New York Times. Uh huh. Tell that to the Hilldebeast and Michelle Obama, guys.
But how about mamas? It can’t be long before we’re into the yo’-mama stuff, right?
It’s long past time that we “patrol and secure” the GOP, which has already “become radicalized.”
Hey, let’s build a wall!
Jesus H. Christ. Remember when Republicans were the tough guys? Once they boldly hunted commies under America’s bed; now they cower beneath it like Chihuahua puppies afeared of the UPS man.
Who does look suspiciously coffee-colored, come to think of it. Ask him to quote from Two Corinthians to prove he’s a good Christian like the rest of us.
And no, I’m not talking about the old gag, “Two Corinthians walk into a bar. …”
“Why, where in all history has there ever been a people so ripe for a dictatorship as ours!” – Sinclair Lewis, “It Can’t Happen Here”
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