Category: Bad news

Tour de Frags

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 9 Comments

Sean Kelly, one of the hard men of the peloton when I was first becoming interested in the sport way back in the day, implies in a chat with the working press that this modern lot is a shower of eejits — and I’m not inclined to argue with him after watching stage six of Le Show Beeg, in which pretty much everybody save the Eurosport commentators, ASO management and Paddy McQuaid found themselves on the tarmac, in the ditch or inside an ambulance.

Sean Kelly back in the day, as photographed by <a href="http://www.corvospro.com/arimages.aspx">Cor Vos</a>
Sean Kelly back in the day, as photographed by Cor Vos

“These kinds of crashes happen, but you have to ask, how did it happen?” Kelly told my man Andrew Hood over to VeloNews.com. “Nobody wants to brake anymore. Everyone is pushing to be in the top 30 riders. Everybody is taking so many risks, and they will have crashes because of that.”

From your lips to God’s ear, Sean a chara. Today’s appalling clusterfuck on a narrow section of road, which left dozens of riders on the floor and sent several out of the Tour altogether, looked as though someone from the Spandex Liberation Army had set off a roadside bomb as the peloton rode past. Andy tallies up the body count here.

Some crashes can be blamed on course designers. Others can be chalked up to ineptitude (yes, pro cyclists fuck up just like we do, only at higher speed). I don’t know whom to pin this one on, other than upon the collective mindset that everyone — sprinters, wanna-bes, winless guys fretting over next year’s contract, GC men and their minders, and anyone in a Euskaltel-Euskadi jersey — just has to be at the front, all at the same time.

There isn’t enough room. Forget about UCI regulations —  it’s a violation of the laws of physics. You can’t squeeze a thousand pounds of Lycra through a garden hose. There’s gonna be an explosion. And we saw it today.

Editor’s note: Incidentally, in case you’re wondering where I am lately, I’m helping Charles “Live Update Guy” Pelkey with running commentary on the 2012 Tour over at Red Kite Prayer. Well, maybe “helping” isn’t quite the word we’re looking for here. “Hindering” may be more accurate. Whatever. I’m there, and you should be too. See you.

Fab and not so fab

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 7 Comments

Mr. Fab is back, taking the V in today’s Tour prologue ahead of a massively focused Bradley Wiggins, who nearly stole the show.

Not so fab is the word that scumbags have been burgling and/or trashing the homes and vehicles of evacuees from the Waldo Canyon fire.

Now, call me intolerant, but I find that intolerable. It’s not bad enough that Hell comes to town and rousts you out of your bed, sets you on the road with whatever you can stuff into a bag before it catches fire? Nope, we must have a little human deviltry to give it some edge.

I can’t think of an epithet vile enough for such people. Grave robbers seem positively civilized by comparison. At least their victims are beyond any need for TVs, toasters and whatnot.

It makes one yearn for the sort of rude Western justice often meted out in horse operas. Unfortunately, the fire has left us short of trees for hangings.

This blows

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 4 Comments

We’ve had a break in the heat but little respite from the winds, and the Waldo Canyon firefighters would really appreciate a bit of the latter.

Said incident commander Rich Harvey: “I’d like to start by saying, I hate wind. I wish it would go away.”

Also, rain, please, and plenty of it. Thanks in advance.

Meanwhile, no fear here at Chez Dog. Today Herself volunteered for an extra shift at the Humane Society of the Pikes Peak Region, which is boarding critters in the crisis. And I banged out a little word count on some area bicycle folks who’ve lost individual pursuits to the blaze. The worst of it around our little pied-à-terrier is smoke and ash.

A couple friends have lost their houses, and others are couch-surfing while they await word. One local official taken on a tour of the area hit hardest said entire blocks are gone.

So, yeah, what’s a little smoke and ash? I’ve seen worse at Interbike.

More as it happens.

Ash Wednesday

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 4 Comments

Goooooood morning, Bibleburg!

Well, not so much. A bunch of people lost their houses last night — no idea how many — 32,000 Bibleburgers are on the run, and we’re looking at another hot, windy day, which is good for the Waldo Canyon fire but not so good for anyone else.

There’s a chance of thunderstorms, but a thunderstorm is what got us into this latest pickle, driving the fire down Queens Canyon to the Mountain Shadows neighborhood. Another storm lit up a few hundred acres around Boulder. Theirs, like ours, has multiple-personality disorder and is burning in any number of directions. So it’s not like anyone’s jumping for joy at the thought of Thor swinging his hammer unless Odin is taking a good long beer piss while Junior gets his workout.

We’re south and east of the evacuation zone and the worst we’ve had to face is the smoke from the remains of our neighbors’ hopes and dreams, with a little ash-fall for dessert. We’ll keep you posted. And thanks for all the emails, tweets and Facebook posts inquiring as to our safety. We’re still on the right side of the grass and it’s not on fire yet.

But I’d sure hate to see this lovely old neighborhood burn. I’ve lived in a whole bunch of places and this is the only one that’s truly felt like home. So please to commence your rain dances with all possible haste. That is all.

Don’t freak out …

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 9 Comments

… we’re OK, but a lot of folks aren’t. A burst of 65-mph winds drove the fire downhill into northwest Bibleburg and it set about gobbling up houses like a stoner does potato chips.

There’s a mandatory evacuation in place for basically everything north of I-25/Garden of the Gods, which is about 15 minutes by bike from Chez Dog. But it seems as though the winds have abated. I’m trying to confirm with Satan that he’s not foreclosing on that mortgage he holds on my soul, but I keep getting voice mail.

I’ll keep you posted while we try to figure out what we can’t live without, just in case.