Shocktober!

October 1, 2012October 1, 2012 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 2 Comments

How the hell did it get to be October already? Herself and I were just enjoying some adult beverages on the back deck, watching the critters gambol on the lawn, and had to beat it indoors before the sun had truly set because we were freezing our whatsises off (of course, anyone wearing shorts and sandals on Oct. 1 deserves to freeze his or her whatsis off).

We had to fortify ourselves with largish glasses of Domaine Vindemio, a powerful red from Ventoux. Then I put the last of the green chile stew on the range. The low tonight could dip into the 30s and for that one needs green chile and red wine.

Come Wednesday, of course, we will need distilled sustenance — tequila, single-malt Scotch or a solid hit of uisce beatha from the auld sod. El Prezbo and the RomneyBot v2.012 square off that evening for their first debate, in Denver, and there is no way I can possibly watch that sucker stone cold sober. (See Charles P. Pierce for a guide on how to watch a presidential debate.)

The RomneyBot is in full kernel panic, crashing and rebooting and giving off a strong whiff of ozone, and it wouldn’t surprise me at all to see him in mid-flail offer Obama a couple of billion to move out of the White House and set himself and the family up in style elsewhere.

‘I’m surrounded by morons.’

September 1, 2012September 1, 2012 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 7 Comments

Meet Henri, whose “Paw de Deux” won the Golden Kitty at the inaugural International Cat Video Film Festival in Minneapolis. Henri also has a book of “philosophical musings” to be published by Random House come fall, says Kathleen Geier at The Washington Monthly. And yet I feel nothing. …

• The playlist from the film festival.

Smoke gets in your eyes

June 25, 2012June 25, 2012 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 3 Comments

The Squeaker of the House — Ordinarily Mr. Boo would be fetching that orange squeaky toy from room to room, demanding playtime (squeaka squeaka squeaka), but it’s too damned hot to play Squeaker of the House today.

Deadlines have been eating up my mornings and record temperatures and smoke have been smothering my afternoons. I had to close all the windows for much of yesterday as a waterless thunderstorm up around Peckerwoodland Park shoved the plume from the Waldo Canyon fire right through downtown Bibleburg.

This morning all the varmints are stretched out on various bits of floor, trying to stay cool. It’s already 82 inside the house, so this is pretty much a lost cause.

Buddy (a.k.a. Mr. Boo) is not amused. Of our three critters he is the one most affected by heat. Turkish just flattens out until he looks like a big white throw rug with blue eyes, turning himself into a radiator. Miss Mia Sopaipilla simply naps more. But Mr. Boo insists on conducting business as usual and it always ends badly.

For example, this morning he was eager for a walk. And for about 30 seconds he even enjoyed it. After that it was just like walking a dog, only in slow motion. I’m going to buy a skateboard and henceforth shall tow him behind me like a hairy, bug-eyed little trailer.

Beelzebarf

June 9, 2012June 9, 2012 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 10 Comments

It’s 95 degrees, I have a deadline, and there is a litter box in my office and fresh cat barf under my desk. When did I die and go to Hell?

A Turkalypse Now

May 28, 2012 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 5 Comments

Turk' in the bush — When I was here, I wanted to be there; when I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the jungle. I’m here a week now, waiting for a mission, getting softer. Every minute I stay in this room, I get weaker, and every minute Charlie squats in the bush, he gets stronger.