Sick burn

You can't fix stupid. Lifted from Michael Albans of The Associated Press via The Missoulian.
You can't fix stupid, not even with socialized medicine. Lifted from Michael Albans of The Associated Press via The Missoulian.

Adolf Saddam Hussein Obama has a 1,200-word op-ed in The New York Times, and Steve Benen at Political Animal found a keeper in there: “No one in America should go broke because they get sick.”

Truer words, etc. And who among us are the most vulnerable? Just look at the pix of these tinfoil-beanie tea-baggers and tell me they won’t lose their single-wides, their rusty F-150s and their beloved three-legged hounds to bankruptcy without affordable health care. Obesity, illiteracy, ignorance and insanity are all treatable ailments, if not rejected for coverage as pre-existing conditions.

Congenital idiocy, alas, we shall have with us always. Until Adolf gets his death panels, of course. Then we can set about vigorously chlorinating the gene pool.

Two thumbs down

It will surprise no one familiar with the Bibleburg Military-Industrial Christo-Clusterplex that the El Pendejo County commissioners have voted to oppose Uncle Ben Schickelgruber’s End O’ Life™ Care, just, ’cause, like, y’know, ’cause he’s a tax-and-spend Islamic socialist and illegal alien who wants to kill your granny.

Health-care reform, bleats Commissioner Amy Lethen — who is proud of having helped elect the infamous beer-swilling DA, John Newsome — would place the good, God-fearing bidnessmen of El Pendejo County “under the thumb of the federal government.”

Jesus wept.

Pardon my French, but just how fucking stupid can you get? Bibleburg could care less about the federal thumb — it already has a liplock on Uncle Sammy’s floppy pink comm’niss hooters that a lamprey would envy. The place is home to Fort Carson, Peterson AFB, Schriever AFB, NORAD, the Cheyenne Mountain Air Station and the Air Force Academy — and leave us not forget the military retirees enjoying gummint pensions, VA medical care and the local PXes, BXes and commissaries.

Then we have the civilian retirees and low-income families on Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, Head Start, the National School Lunch Program, the Low-Income Home Energy Assistance Program and the Children’s Health Insurance Program. Bibleburg has never been a fat-paycheck kind of town — a working guy (or a gal) often needs a little sumpin’-sumpin’ from Uncle to make ends meet in the cold, dark shadow of Pikes Peak, a famous view that clips more than a buck or two off the prevailing hourly wage.

So who needs health-care reform? Are there no emergency rooms? No prisons? No workhouses?

Post-birth abortion

I know, I know — I should be babbling on about this, that and the other, but frankly, a few days of spectating at the health-care rumble has left me numb. These overfed, undereducated lice infesting the body politic make soccer hooligans look like Buddhist monks.

Adolf Obama is gonna put these yahoos’ grannies to sleep? Puh-leeze. He’s not a dummy like the last guy to hold the Big Gig. He knows those dried-up, toothless old crones planted their bumper crop of asshats long ago, and that gaggle of fucktards likewise inflicted this latest battalion of jabbering feebs upon us in a nanosecond of meth-addled ardor, with the best bits having clearly dribbled down momma’s leg. Talk about closing the barn door after the horse’s ass is long gone.

No, if we’re gonna put anyone down for the good of the Republic, it has to be these bellowing, pistol-packing pinheads themselves, along with their crotch-droppings, if only to pry them off Uncle Sammy’s three big floppy red communist titties — Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid — which they nurse from so regularly and understand so poorly. Bitch-slaps with Hellboy’s big red mitt for their pastors, teachers and parole officers.

The shmuck stops here.

Unhealthy debate

Joe Galloway takes on the brownshirts who’ve been turning town halls on health-care reform into Know-Nothing revivals. Writes Galloway:

The only outfits in America that have the right to refuse you treatment for an illness or deny you an organ transplant are the health care corporations, if you’re unlucky enough to have to depend on that wonderful private insurance the right wingnuts are so loudly praising and defending.

This is the same wonderful health coverage that’s driven hundreds of thousands of American families into bankruptcy because their private insurers refused to pay for urgently needed surgery or cancer treatment, or simply cancelled their coverage.

Speaking of which, somebody who is in urgent need of medical care — psychiatric treatment, to be precise — is Sarah Palin, who once again has unhinged her snakelike jaws to give us all a good whiff of the rotting brain behind the designer eyewear.

Her contribution to the “debate,” says Political Animal’s Steve Benen, “might be the stupidest thing ever written about health care policy. Just two weeks after she implored journalists to “quit making things up,” Palin has manufactured the idea of a “death panel” out of thin air.”

Remember when batshit-whacko rants like this came mostly from smelly street people arguing with the voices in their head? I’m thinking I’d be in favor of a death panel, if it came equipped with a time machine. Then we could put a few folks’ parents to sleep before they procreate.

Just a thought

If we really want to do something about broken-down, smoke-blowing shitheaps stinking up our nation, shouldn’t we encourage the steadily shrinking minority of sane Republicans to trade in their sputtering party for a brand-new, fully functional, loyal conservative opposition? An outfit that actually presents workable, sane alternatives to Democratic proposals rather than galloping around and squealing about Nazis, socialists, Jesus, lynchings, foreigners, guns and homos like a bunch of ADHD preschoolers on a Ritalin binge? Call it “Right for Wrong” or something? Just sayin’.