April flowers bring May showers

April 29, 2011April 29, 2011 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 7 Comments

Weather over the mountain — Shorts weather down here, not so much up there.

May is lurking around the corner like a thug with a fistful of pipe. I rode in shorts and short sleeves today, watered the trees fore and aft, even mowed what passes for a lawn in Dog Country. It was 75 degrees and sunnier than the smile on the face of someone who hasn’t been paying attention.

Naturally, tomorrow the temps will drop like an elevator full of fat bastards and there’s rain, snow, and rain mixed with snow in the forecast.

Whatever. I don’t care. Our Canadian red cherry is showing some blossoms, and I had a wonderful ride today, just goofing around in Palmer Park, trying to stay out of the wind. I was on the Voodoo Nakisi drop-bar 29er and rode like I knew what I was doing for a change, kinda sorta, even cleaning a couple rocky bits that have been setting me afoot. Plus I stumbled across an entire gym class of young folks riding mountain bikes at the behest of their teacher, which as an industry observer I call good news.

One, on a loaner bike, was having trouble with parts of the Grandview Overlook trail and just a tiny bit lost. “It gets easier,” I promised, lying shamelessly through an encouraging smile, and showed her the way to the paved road that leads to the overlook parking lot.

I took a shortcut and advised teach’ that one of his students once was lost, but now was found, and then got the hell out of there while things were still going good. I’m not greedy, and I’d already had more than my share of good news.

• Late update: I capped the day off with a simple new recipe, ale-braised sausages with bell peppers, from Williams-Sonoma. I dicked around with it a bit, having neither apple cider (I used organic cranberry-pomegranate juice instead) nor fresh thyme (due to a persistent case of brain damage I have three or four jars of the dried stuff cluttering up the kitchen). And surprise, surprise, it turned out just fine. I used Deschutes Brewery’s Red Chair NW Pale Ale and Niman Ranch bratwurst, for anyone tracking my movements. The mashed spuds were your basic organic russets with chives, parsley, butter, heavy whipping cream, sea salt and freshly ground black pepper.

Tulips and Tea Baggers

April 27, 2011 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 11 Comments

Frosty tulips — The tulips seem to be saying, "If this is spring, you can have it."

This is the second day lately we’ve awakened to a light, slightly crunchy frosting on the ground.

I don’t know whether it’s a light snow or a heavy frost. I do know the lawn drinks it like Birthers chug Insane-O-Tea®. You want a solid argument against evolution, these folks are your poster children. Chimps look at these asshats, shake their heads and say, “I ain’t got nothin’ to do with it.”

On the water(y)front

April 26, 2011 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 10 Comments

The Universe is amusing itself at my expense again.

I sez to Herself, I sez, “Watch it start snowing as soon as I get all kitted up for a ride.” And what happens?

I shoulda gone into meteorology, is what. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let’s face it.

Blow me

April 9, 2011 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 6 Comments

Ah, balls — Turkish, who also loathes the wind, gives the hairy eyeball to one of his toys shortly before kicking its ass.

Jeebus. I say this every April, I know, but still, damn — this wind is insane. Right now it’s barreling out of the south-southwest at 29 mph with gusts to 48.

Sucker flat pile-drives the pollen up the snotlocker, let me tell you. Feels like some evil plumber is ratcheting down an extra-large hose clamp on my brainpan. I should be out logging miles on the Jamis for review purposes, but I’ve been wrestling this accursed wind all week and I’m kind of over it. For now, anyway.

Still, could be worse — Flagstaff is under about a foot of snow, I-17 is closed, and the white stuff is still coming down. This is why we keep cross-country skis and snowshoes around. April showers, don’t you know.

At play in the fields of the Lord

April 7, 2011April 7, 2011 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 15 Comments

We got a very welcome spring rain last night. The sound of the lawn, shrubs and trees cheering (“Yaaaaayyyy!!!) kept us up all night long.

Or perhaps that was the shit monsoon, which continues unabated in DeeCee, where the Tinfoil Beanie Party continues to hone its management philosophy, taken from the manifesto “Everything I Know About Getting My Way I Learned in Kindergarten.” What a shower of bastards we have sent to the nation’s capital.

And how God must chuckle when He looks down to see His monkeys at play, screeching and flinging dung at one another. Kind of makes You wish You hadn’t taken that seventh day off, eh, Big Fella? You could’ve used it to perform a little quality-control check on your most famous product.