Posts Tagged ‘impeachment’

Nolo cojones

December 6, 2019

What a blockhead.

Gosh. Il Douche won’t mount any sort of defense as the House Judiciary Committee contemplates articles of impeachment.

Imagine my surprise.

I don’t suppose it has anything to do with knowing that he’d come out looking like a purse dog that went three rounds with the Hound of the Baskervilles.

No, better he should stay all bunkered up, hiding behind various knaves, minions, and varlets, tweeting like a hyperactive budgie, and wait until The Turtle can run interference for him in the Senate, where he has the home-field advantage.

I’d like to have the lip-balm and breath-mint concessions at that ass-kissing contest. A couple days of the big money and I could retire, is what.

Preview of coming attractions

November 13, 2019

The impeachment inquiry has gone public, but I plan to resist the temptation to follow it extensively here, like a starveling coyote trailing a garbage truck.

My reasoning is that we’ll all read, watch, and hear a lot more than we care to elsewhere. Charlie Pierce is on the case, and I urge anyone who wants the bird’s-eye lowdown on this caper, whatever that means, to become a card-carrying member of his Shebeen.

Also, I imagine that we’re all mostly on the same page here — that the White House has become the Shite House, and that it’s turds all the way down. So I plan to preach to the choir only when I have some fresh take on the revelations.

Slouching toward impeachment

October 8, 2019

Get on with it!

 

What next?

September 25, 2019

Article 2, Section 4.

Old-timers slumped around the Mad Dog cracker barrel will know the impeachment drill from the Clinton and Nixon days.

That said, even us whitebeards can use a bit of continuing education to stay sharp, and political veterano Ed Kilgore provides a useful explainer of our current situation over to New York Magazine, which was just snapped up by Vox Media (another one bites the dust).

The New York Times has another, this one from Charlie Savage.

The Washington Post has one, too, but it feels less authoritative, especially since it suggests that Ginger Hitler could run for re-election if impeached and removed. Article 1, Section 3 of the U.S. Constitution seems pretty clear on that topic when it states: “Judgment in cases of impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any office of honor, trust or profit under the United States. …”

It’s worth noting, however, that one rarely finds high-priced shysters with a specialty in constitutional law blogging about politics in their skivvies at dark-thirty when they could be logging billable hours. In the unlikely event that the Senate gives Il Douche the shove, I would not be in the least surprised to find them stopping short of the disqualification portion of Article 1, Section 3.

Shit, they might award him a gold watch, a ticker-tape parade, and a teary rub-and-tug by Sean Hannity.

All aboard the Peach Mint Special

September 24, 2019

Alllllll aboarrrrrrrrrd! Six committees, plenty of seats!

Woooo woooooo. …

 

First day of the fall

September 23, 2019

“The State? Yeah, that’s me. What of it?”

Can we please impeach His Execration now? His Louis XIV act grows wearisome.

Screwed again

February 12, 2019

Fake news.

“‘Tool Disposal Notice?'” I said. “At long last, they’re impeaching him!”

Nope. Just a Harbor Freight Tools ad. Still, a fella can always use a bigger hammer for those delicate adjustments to this and that.

Here’s the turd, there’s the handle, what’s your hurry?

January 18, 2019

His Lardship on the throne.

Once again Charles P. Pierce breaks it all down so the rest of us can lean on our shovels.

Waiting for Mueller is now an unacceptable and inadequate response from the national legislature. Mueller’s job is to see if the president* and his minions should go to jail. The House’s job is to determine if the president* should not be the president* anymore.

Bring it. Impeach the sonofabitch. If nothing else you give him a fresh case of ants in his pants to distract him from rendering the Republic uninhabitable.

Here’s more, from Adam Serwer and Yoni Appelbaum at The Atlantic.

I just gave Darth Cheeto a rep in the nuts

January 9, 2019

It’s morning in Albuquerque.

I just rang up our freshman representative in DeeCee, Deb Haaland, and asked that she and her colleagues start working up articles of impeachment.

Haaland was quick out of the chute with a response to last night’s State of the Wall Address, saying:

“The real national emergency right now is thousands of New Mexicans not being able to put food on the table or pay rent, because of the government shutdown. New Mexicans need quality public education, good paying jobs, and a renewable-energy economy — the wall does nothing to address those issues. On day one, the House passed a bill to get federal workers back to work and paid, and now it’s time for the Senate and the President to do their part.”

I imagine that the congresswoman has a pretty full schedule, being new to the job, but as I told the woman who answered the phone, “This administration is a cartoon that never was funny, and it’s long past time the show was canceled.”