The Turtle won’t stick his neck out. Original photo by Susan Walsh | AP
With ’Is Lardship’s second impeachment in hand, The World’s Greatest Deliberative Body™ does … fuck-all.
According to The New York Times, the Turtle has rejected a plea by Democrats to recall the Senate and go to trial. After the House vote to impeach, he said there was “simply no chance that a fair or serious trial could conclude” before Sleepy Joe’s inauguration next week.
In low tones that for some reason emitted from the rear of his shell, The Turtle spake thusly:
“I believe it will best serve our nation if Congress and the executive branch spend the next seven days completely focused on facilitating a safe inauguration and an orderly transfer of power to the incoming Biden administration.”
O, to be sure. The People’s Business been uppermost on his devious little mind ever since he discovered he could run it at a profit for himself.
The good news? The Turtle is said to have sworn that he will never again speak to ’Is Lardship. Boy, that’ll show ’em.
Tags: ’Is Lardship, impeachment, The Turtle
Mad Blog Media 
January 14, 2021 at 7:25 am |
“Yes the pilot is trying to crash the plane; but the flight’s almost over, so why remove him now?” #RepublicansOnAPlane.
🙂
January 14, 2021 at 7:30 am |
Ho ho ho; well done indeed.
Is there enough money in that presidential pension for him to bring it in shiny side up?
January 14, 2021 at 7:46 am |
Once Trump is out of office, he has no legal authority to do anything that could possibly fuck with a Senate trial. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was in someone’s thinking.
But that’s just a conjecture.
January 14, 2021 at 7:57 am |
Ah, it’s all conjecture. One thing we should’ve learned from the last four years is that we don’t know the rules of the game as well as we thought we did. This mutt and his handlers found every gap in the fence around the Tree of Liberty and pissed it into ill health.
January 14, 2021 at 8:05 am |
The Clinton and first Trump trials took two to three weeks, so it seems moot since we are now only six days away from Inauguration. That is unless they rammed it through which would have its own problems. Seems to me if there is an urgent need during the next week to get DJT out of the white house, its by the 25A. Or just wait it out.
January 14, 2021 at 8:15 am |
I disagree. There was at least one impeachable offense. He’s been impeached. I think the House should hand off to the Senate first thing yesterday, and that august body should convene immediately, convict, and expel.
Obviously what I think carries no weight. So, in lieu of the above, the Senate trial will have to begin after Sleepy Joe’s inauguration, and Adolf Twitler should be convicted and barred from ever holding public office again. He’ll still get that fat pension, but there it is. Even this dog’s breakfast will be a tough slog.
There have to be consequences. Rich white people failing upward is not doing much to settle the restless natives.
January 14, 2021 at 8:38 am |
I was not suggesting that he not be tried. What I was saying is that there is not a credible amount of time to try him in the Senate between now and Inauguration. Trumps first trial took over two weeks. Clinton’s trial took a month. Andrew Johnson’s trial took almost three months. If they tried him in four or five days it would look like a railroad job unless he simply pled guilty.
Of course there are questions.
VERIFY: Can a former president be prosecuted for crimes they committed while in office?
https://www.wusa9.com/article/news/verify/do-former-presidents-have-immunity-or-can-they-be-prosecuted-if-a-president-leaves-office-can-he-be-charged-with-a-crime-explainer-fact-check/65-0ca56bc3-43c2-4bab-84ed-307bb4cae87c
January 14, 2021 at 11:46 am |
Great can’t be the enemy of good-enough. And putting everything side by side, I’m liking the Senate conducting a hearing under Schumer way more than going quick and dirty under the Turtle. Even if it goes nowhere, there’s this one thing:
Subpoena power for a dude who has always dodged testifying under oath.
January 14, 2021 at 12:16 pm |
I wonder if 18 US 2383 could apply.
18 U.S. Code § 2383 – Rebellion or insurrection
https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/2383
“Whoever incites, sets on foot, assists, or engages in any rebellion or insurrection against the authority of the United States or the laws thereof, or gives aid or comfort thereto, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than ten years, or both; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.”
Recall that the idea that a sitting president cannot be indicted is a Justice Dept opinion which is sort of a case of the foxes guarding the chicken coop. I don’t think anyone has ever taken that opinion to the mat in Federal court. Does anyone know? Plus, I imagine there is nothing to keep a Fed Prosecutor from indicting him once he is not in office.
January 14, 2021 at 1:15 pm
Of course. That is the statute. And, it applies to him egging on the militias in Michigan to invade the capital while armed. So, he’s he has two offenses.
January 14, 2021 at 1:55 pm
Good one Khal. I must have been sleeping.
January 14, 2021 at 1:17 pm |
He has no LEGAL authority. But, he could get his militias to storm the senate.
January 14, 2021 at 5:42 pm |
I assume that’s the plan for Wednesday.
January 14, 2021 at 9:28 am |
Hmm, I took it another way. I think McConnell is throwing him under the bus of a Democratic-held Senate as opposed to the Republican-held Senate of now. Still a slim chance that Teflon Don will ever pay for his ways. I’m hoping that impacts to his business will give him endless grief.
January 14, 2021 at 10:24 am |
I agree Kath, but you would still need 17 republicans to convict him in the new senate, and that isn’t likely. Plus, the way I read the law, you have to remove him from office to kill his pension and other benefits. Congress has some say what the benefits are other that the pension itself. But, since he will leave office because his term is over, he will never live in a van down by the river like he deserves. And, the taxpayers will pick up the tab.
https://www.ntu.org/foundation/tax-page/pensions-and-perks-for-former-presidents-archive
January 14, 2021 at 12:32 pm |
17 Rethuglicans to convict. But using 2/3rds, for every two that stay home, you need one less vote. Get T**** under oath, get him to say stupid things, and you start inching towards the magic number.
January 14, 2021 at 10:25 am |
Still takes 17 Elefinks to convict if all the Dems vote to convict, so GOP is not off the hook no matter who is SML. But sure, Mitch would no longer be on the hook for Majority Leader.
January 14, 2021 at 5:47 pm |
If they try what it appears they are intending Wednesday, the R. side of the aisle is liable to look like a room full of cockroaches when someone suddenly turns the lights on.
January 14, 2021 at 11:41 am |
Can’t call the Senate back to work because they have too much work to do to come back to work.
January 14, 2021 at 12:39 pm |
Perhaps Trump will be foolish enough to open his mouth after the transition and make a statement(s) that substantiates the impeachment ruling. Perhaps McConnell is foreseeing this possibility realizing that prosecution will go a lot easier if they let Trump produce evidence against himself. It would be appropriate if Trump were prosecuted such that the American public is not responsible for an ex-president pension, security, library, etc.
January 14, 2021 at 1:24 pm |
Shawn, I don’t see anything in the law that prevents him from collecting the pension even if he is convicted of a crime after he leaves office.
https://www.archives.gov/about/laws/former-presidents.html
January 14, 2021 at 1:38 pm |
You know what, I think the asshole just got away with the whole thing. Nothing will happen to him. The repugs still love him, and anything bad that happens after Jan 20th is Biden’s fault. Going dark for awhile. Can’t take this shit no more.
January 14, 2021 at 4:22 pm |
It really is enough to make a fella want to bite his own head off and spit it into the nearest toilet.
I’d probably try, too, if I didn’t know so many decent people. They’re not all out shitting in Lincoln’s lap and taking selfies of their Nazi tats.
January 14, 2021 at 9:22 pm |
Don’t go too dark, bro. You got this.
January 15, 2021 at 4:22 am |
No worries buddy, I’m just avoiding too much screen time today. Going to the Empire Ranch today for some hiking and a picnic. We used to mountain bike around there and once rode into a herd of pronghorn. They pretty much ignored us as we rode through.
https://www.empireranchfoundation.org/
January 14, 2021 at 2:00 pm |
Our 3rd grader is learning about the Constitution, and during dinner, we’re talking about today’s lesson. She’s reciting what she remembered, and asking us to fill in some gaps. Our 5th grader is listening, eating, not saying much. And we get to the organization of the government.
Who’s the Speaker of the House?
Nancy Pelosi, from California
And who’s the Speaker of the Senate?
It’s called the Majority Leader, and it’s Mitch McConnell, from Kentucky.
That’s when the 5th grader pops up.
“Ooooh, I’ve seen that guy on TV. Trust me, you don’t want to run into that guy in real life.”
January 14, 2021 at 4:35 pm |
Kids. They kill me. The two next door are lively little hellions. They love to ring our doorbell, then hide around the corner and wait until one of us (guess who) throws the door open and roars, “WHO’S RINGING MY DOORBELL?”
Then they leap out from hiding and yell, “YAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”
They use sticks as swords and wands, climb rocks, trees, and stucco walls, water our plants with a beat-up old watering can filled from an even more beat-up rain bucket, invade the property, disregard authority (a personal favorite of mine), and generally raise a ruckus.
I hope it’s not some sort of phase they’ll grow out of.
January 14, 2021 at 10:24 pm |
You’ve got this P’OG
January 15, 2021 at 6:36 am |
Yeah! I’ve always thought that the best thing employers could do for employee fitness and well-being was yell “Recess!” or “Field Trip!” and stay out of the way. 🙂
Wait a minute, that sounds a bit like Congress, eh?? 🙂
January 15, 2021 at 7:40 am |
They sound like real kids to me, otherwise known as “hey, that reminds me of my kidhood”. Thankfully you have real kids. When we lived up in BombTown, the neighbor’s boys were seemingly never seen or heard. I think it was a severe case of helicopter parenting.
January 15, 2021 at 8:12 am |
The kids are one of the highlights of the ’hood. Sort of community property, if you can say that about itty bitty human beings. They’re in and out of everyone’s yards, running and jumping and scootering and cycling around in the cul-de-sac, having adventures and mishaps, which are often the same thing.
They’re not intimidated by adults, seeing them as simply larger versions of themselves. And they invariably speak the truth, unless they’re lying, which they will happily cop to once you’ve proved you’re not a total simp.
They figured me out quick. “You’re silly, Patrick,” they say. And most days they’re spot on.
January 15, 2021 at 7:46 am |
Jeziz. Some things never change.
“If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon’s but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other.” — Ulysses S. Grant
here, unless its firewalled.
https://morningshots.thebulwark.com/p/the-storm-next-time
January 15, 2021 at 8:21 am |
Here’s some historical depth and context for that one, which sounded too good to be true.
January 15, 2021 at 2:41 pm |
Now I know why the Right wants to privatize schools: “The free school is the promoter of that intelligence which is to preserve us as a free nation…”
January 15, 2021 at 6:32 pm |
But don’t kids get to wear those little brown uniforms in private schools.
January 16, 2021 at 6:47 am
We may all be wearing brown uniforms before long. Or Hawaiian shirts and body armor. Merka has its head in a very strange place these days. One longs for the days when it was safely parked up its arse.