Posts Tagged ‘Ruta del Rancho Pendejo’

La Ruta Reducido

June 3, 2018

From left: Pat O’B, Your Humble Narrator and Khalil S. “The boys regret their apparel selection as they begin their prison sentences. It seems they will be targeted by the harder criminals.” | Photo and caption by Herb C.

La Ruta del Rancho Pendejo 2018 is receding in the helmet mirror, the weather gods having decreed that stage two would not proceed as scheduled.

Stage one, a pan-flat, 33-mile out-and-back on the Paseo del Bosque, went off without a hitch, unless you count hunting parking spaces at the Alameda trailhead. Hijo, madre, etc. It was like looking for honesty in DeeCee. I usually bicycle down to the bosque trail, so this was a new experience for me, and I devised my very own parking space, where I imagine no one had parked before.

With the heavy machinery docked, properly and otherwise, Pat O’B., Herb C., Khalil S. and I set sail with a few hundred thousand of our closest friends (save for you, dear readers) for what I and the weatherperson anticipated would be a hideously hot, wind-scoured ride. Not so much. It turned out right nice. Even our handlebar bells were in sync, pealing out nuggets of harmony as we overtook our brethren and sistren in heavy traffic.

From left: Pat O’B, Your Humble Narrator and Herb C. The South Diversion Channel Trail, says the city’s description of the bosque tour, “provides impressive views of an industrial portion of Albuquerque,” if you happen to be feeling industrious. | Photo by Khalil S.

For some reason I never remember to unlimber the camera on these deals, mostly being preoccupied with bullshittery, so we have no “pro” images of the four of us from the Canon PowerShot S110 and its convenient timer for hands-free photography.

Happily, Khal and Herb weren’t shy about pulling out their phones for a few snaps, so we have proof that we were on the bikes and not barstools. At these precise moments, anyway.

Afterward we lunched at Casa de Benavidez on 4th, and then I sped off to the Duke City airport to fetch Herself home from a jaunt to Colorado while the lads amused themselves elsewhere.

I had planned to snap a few candids of the crew on today’s mountain-bike ride, especially if anyone wound up plucking cactus thorns from their bibs, but the planet had other ideas.

Between fires, high winds, and impending heavy rain and/or hail, we agreed to employ the better part of valor, which is to say “discretion.”

At long last, rain. My fault: I washed and lubed the bicycle I intended to ride today.

We might have been able to pull off a quick hour on the trails — by noon, the gods had huffed and puffed to no particular effect — but there ain’t many places to hide in the upper reaches of the Chihuahuan Desert when they finally start tossing the icewater and electricity around and about.

So Pat scurried off home to Sierra Vista, Khal remained in Fanta Se, and Herb headed north to inspect The Arts so that he might tell the wife he’d done something of merit over the weekend. Me? I caught up on news and chores. The party never stops.

Next year we might shift the Ruta north to Khal’s neighborhood. There’s plenty of cycling to be done in our old hometown, lots of top-shelf grub, and The Arts aplenty in case any of yis tilt in that direction.

Finally, thanks to Pat, Khal and Herb for joining me, and another round of happy-birthday wishes to Pat, who celebrated his 69th with us.

 

 

Hot time in the old town

May 30, 2018

New Mexico must have a patent on these cloud formations. And if it doesn’t, it should.

Looks like the inaugural Ruta del Rancho Pendejo will be a warm one, with highs in the 90s and 80s, though there’s a chance of afternoon showers on Sunday.

The very latest in fluid acquisition and retention technology.

This last we will believe when we see it.

Never fear, however. Your Humble Narrator, with an assist from Adventure Cyclist editor-in-chief Alex Strickland, has acquired a number of advanced hydration-delivery devices for distribution to all participants.

We regret to announce, however, that Roseanne Barr will not be joining us for the weekend’s activities. She’s apparently decided to take a fresh direction. Some sort of gravity deal.

And it seems to be quite the show. I haven’t seen anyone go downhill that fast since Missy Giove was shredding the gnar.

Update: Ruta del Rancho Pendejo

May 6, 2018

The May 1 deadline has come and gone to declare for the inaugural Ruta del Rancho Pendejo, slated June 2-3. Bienvenidos to those who will be there, and hasta luego to those who will be square.

This is a veritable freeway of a descent, until it isn’t. The trails tend to be a tad on the narrow, twisty and sandy side.

Looks like the Marriott Courtyard Albuquerque will be the base of operations for out-of-towners. It’s close to the Paseo del Norte bike trail, which leads straight down to the Paseo del Bosque, and looks pretty much on-and-off, freeway-wise, despite a construction project to the south. High Desert Bicycles is the closest bike shop, and Weck’s is the best bet for a serious pre-ride breakfast.

The weather to date has been warm and dry, so much so that much of the state is suffering drought conditions, but you never know when those “monsoons” might show up, so consider packing a light rain shell … which, of course, will ensure that it doesn’t rain that weekend. Sunscreen will probably prove more useful.

Prone to seasonal allergies? Consider fetching along your performance-enhancing substance of choice, which will spare you a trip to the apothecary.

And don’t sweat the buzzworms. They’re tired of green chile and are biting the burger-gobblers back in Bibleburg.

The roads, trails and paths are all in tiptop shape, but you needn’t be, as Coach says the pace on all rides will be relaxed and of a conversational nature. I’m assuming we’re all hip deep in Manly Points from previous triumphs and thus can rest comfortably on our laurels.

Questions? Holler in comments. I have all the answers, even if I have to make ’em up.

Q&A: Ruta del Rancho Pendejo

April 17, 2018

Riding north along the Paseo del Bosque.

We’ve had some questions arise about the inaugural Ruta del Rancho Pendejo, slated June 2-3. Here are some answers:

Q. How long are the rides?

A. The Paseo del Bosque Trail is a 32-mile round trip on paved path from the Alameda trailhead south around the industrial Rio Bravo lollipop at the south and back again. Pat O’Brien and I rode it in just over two and a half hours last year. It’s flat, flat, flat, but expect wind (probably in your face for the return leg) and plenty of other trail users. Here’s a detailed description of the route (from south to north). We could skip the loop at the southern end — frankly, it’s not all that scenic —and turn around at Rio Bravo Boulevard for the trip back to the Alameda trailhead.

The Steelman Eurocross on Trail 505 north of Elena Gallegos.

The off-road rides I like cover about 10 to 15 miles, or from an hour to 90 minutes in duration. For longer rides, we could simply add laps, or additional loops, maybe sample both the northern trails around the Elena Gallegos picnic area and the southern trails below Menaul. The Foothills Trails start just a couple blocks from El Rancho Pendejo, and since I ride rigid steel weirdomobiles I tend to seek out the swoopy, flowy, less-technical routes in a network that one local wrench has described as “manicured.” That said, there is a fair amount of climbing, the occasional rock garden, plenty of sand, cacti out the wazoo, and some washboard descents. Here’s a basic description.

I’ve shot some video of the southern Foothills Trails, but none of their northern cousins.

Q. Are rental bikes available?

A. Indeed they are. High Desert Bicycles rents road and mountain bikes. Also, Your Humble Narrator has a dozen machines on hand, with the road, touring and cyclocross models ranging in size from 55cm to 58cm and in technology from eight- and nine-speed Ultegra/XT/Deore and rim brakes to 10-speed SRAM with mechanical discs. Condition varies from serviceable to shameful. My one actual mountain bike is a 23-year-old titanium DBR Axis TT with eight-speed XT/Sachs twist-shifters, V-brakes, a RockShox Judy SL fork and 26-inch wheels. A real relic of mountain biking’s distant past, is what.

Q. Will I get shelled without mercy and left to die alone in the Upper Chihuahuan Desert?

A. No, the usual Darwinian ruthlessness will be held in abeyance. This is an extremely casual, social weekend of riding. Dying is discouraged as it would dampen the frivolity.

• Note for anyone fetching his/her own rig(s): The Duke City goathead thorn is a ravenous and ubiquitous beastie. I recommend riding tubeless tires or using sealant-filled tubes, both on- and off-road. And carry at least two spares and a pump anyway.

 

 

Ride the Ruta del Rancho Pendejo

April 13, 2018

A stretch of the Paseo del Bosque trail, south of the zoo.

A few of us who hang around this digital cracker barrel plan to get together for a weekend of casual cycling in the Duke City, and you can join the fun.

The inaugural Ruta del Rancho Pendejo is slated for June 2-3, with one ride on pavement (probably taking in the fabled Paseo del Bosque recreational path) and another on dirt (the largely gentle Foothills Trails).

There will also be the eating of green chile, the consumption of beverages, and the talking of shit. You can read all about it here.

Ruta del Rancho Pendejo

April 9, 2018

Southbound on the Paseo del Bosque, en route to the Rio Bravo loop.

Friends of the Blog Pat O. and Khal S. have expressed a desire to pedal around the Duke City for a couple of days, and thus we shall.

The inaugural Ruta del Rancho Pendejo shall be June 2-3, with two stages, one on road and the other off. Which comes first? Chicken or egg? Weather, the gods and other actors beyond our control shall dictate the schedule.

Sam on the jam to the Tram, just past the intersection of Tramway Boulevard and Tramway Road.

Likewise the routes. The road stage will probably cover the Paseo del Bosque (from the Alameda Open Space trailhead south and back again), but additional trails will be on tap (Paseo del Norte, North Diversion Channel Trail) should the spirit be willing.

The bosque trail is as flat as flat can be, so any old road/cyclocross bike will do, but we may find ourselves climbing The Invisible Hill (the New Mexican wind is renowned for its ability to adjust so that it is always in your grille). Also, and too, traffic is heavy on weekends, so gird your loins for other cyclists, joggers, skaters, dog-walkers, stroller-pushers and other impediments to forward progress.

There’s also the option of climbing Tramway east of Interstate 25, a pleasant half-hour grind with soothing views of the Sandias. You gain about a thousand feet from the Rio Grande to the intersection of Tramway Boulevard and Tramway Road (which in itself is a nice little climb to the Sandia Tram proper). Masochists who find us feeble taskmasters may sample the climb to the Sandia Crest.

The view from an overlook atop Trail 365A, south of the Embudo Canyon trailhead.

The off-road stage is likely to take in the trails surrounding the Elena Gallegos picnic area, and perhaps those to the south of Menaul Boulevard as well. The clinically insane ride these on cyclocross bikes, touring bikes, and even single-ring, flat-bar, canti-braked townies with a low end of 38×28, but we will not laugh at anyone who prefers an actual, y’know, like, mountain bike, an’ shit. Well, not much, anyway, and certainly not where you can catch us doing it.

The Ruta is an extremely casual, social weekend of gentle riding open to all Friends of the Blog. I recommend seeking lodging somewhere in the ABQ Uptown area (Interstate 40 and Louisiana). Over the years Herself and I have camped at the Hilton Garden Inn, the Homewood Suites, and the Hampton Inn (Carlisle and I-40) and come away with our throats uncut, our guts unshot, and all our possessions in hand.

Trail 366, which leads to the Elena Gallegos picnic area.

Sustenance is a work in progress at the moment. You’ll be on your own for breakfast, but depending upon turnout evening meals will probably be at one of the justly heralded green-chile beaneries in the North Valley, a 20-minute drive from El Rancho Pendejo and ABQ Uptown.

Post-ride refreshments may be available on the patio at El Rancho Pendejo, where your hosts will include Your Humble Narrator, Herself, Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment) and his adjutant, Miss Mia Sopaipilla.

Sound like your idea of a good time? Holler at me by May 1 — ogrady (at) maddogmedia (dot) com — so I can gauge the size of the peloton.