I can’t wait to see how the wingnuts manage to credit Ronnie Raygun for all the upheaval in the Middle East while heaping scorn upon the Kenyan Muslim socialist currently occupying the Oval Office.
Happily, right now they seem more concerned about why the comic-book movie “Captain America: The First Avenger” is only titled “The First Avenger” when it’s being pimped to the rest of the world. You’d think they’d be more worked up about the gay subtext — you know, the old “Cap’n America and his teen sidekick Bucky” deal, wink wink, nudge nudge, the nonsense that got old Frederic Wertham (“Seduction of the Innocent”) all het up over Batman and Robin. Thanks and a twirl of Thor’s hammer to Steve Benen at Political Animal for the tip.
Meanwhile, the Tea Party twits are already finding themselves either shunned by the “mainstream” Repug dingbats or absorbed by the conservative Borg: “Thanks for the lift last November, bitches — now go stand in a corner with the fundamentalist Christers and shut the fuck up until we need you again.”
Speaking of neotard asshats, there’s a fresh rant up at VeloNews.com and it seems a fairly gentle reference to self-described rodeo clown Glenn Beck has generated some backlash, mostly from feebs who can’t even spell their hero’s name. Good times. I took a quick peek at some of the funnier ones and then slipped out for a longish bike ride, because this weekend will involve some heavy lifting from the bottom of the old VeloBarrel, what with cyclo-cross worlds going on in Germany and Alberto Clenbutador weeping into his tapas.
I had doubts that the temps would hit the mid-60s as forecast, but was wrong as usual. I didn’t have enough pockets to stuff cool-weather bits into and wound up keeping the knee warmers on. Fat city.
Mad Blog Media 
Funny thing about our sport in the USA. When old farts like us got into it there was a bit of a left wing slant. NOBODY had a car worth more than their bicycle and most of us would do something we loved (like working in a bike shop) to scratch out a living rather than do something we hated just to try to get rich. Things have changed my friends, and all you need to do is read some of the comments on VN.com (relating to OG’s rant and elsewhere) to see the proof. The prediction about cycling becoming the “new golf” has sadly come true and we have all the country club loving, right-wing rich folks taking it over these days. The good news is they’ll eventually tire of it and go on to some other activity and we’ll get our sport back. I’m not surprised the Tea Party bozos are running into the reality of the Repuglican Party’s lobbyist-run agenda — they were dumb enough to think they could change things with rants driven by the script provided them by Beck and Co. Will they vote out all these people in 2012 when it’s obvious they’ve done NOTHING?
Awesome Patrick, sure pissed off some VN viewers, who knew there were so many conservative asshats riding around on bikes–undoubtedly on Madones–or maybe they’re just Mo’manz.
Gents, some of these folks seem to have some might short fuses leading to their not-very-smart bombs. I prefer old-school conservatism to new-school stupid, especially if it’s riding a bike. I betcha Barry Goldwater could fly a straight line.
Why do they let Gleen Heck’s fans out on Fridays? And, really, are you that surprised that once cycling became ‘mainstream’ it did not attract the radical idiots? Was it not referred to as “the new golf” for a few years when a certain ‘Merican was racing in Frogland?
BTW~ I sort of remember pointing that screen shot out to a few people over the years. Sadly I don’t think 99% of the current VeloSnooze readers would either catch the reference to its place in film history nor care.
I must have been too sober, O’G. I even remember some of those old essays from the nineties.
JFC. Some of those comments on VN seem to forget this is a Foaming Rant we are talking about, not a deep philosophical discourse led by Jack Schmitt, Hahvahd geoscience Ph.D.
Alas, the “new golf” appears to involve attacking your foursome with a nine-iron. Last man standing gets to doctor his card.
A couple colleagues and I used to practice the old golf, which meant getting loaded and racing around the front nine, then trying to nail expensive cars in the parking lot from the driving range.
I don’t recommend this, by the way. Instead, skip the greens fees, spend the savings on expensive beverages and watch “Caddyshack” at home. Better yet, make it a double feature by adding “Breaking Away” to the bill.
O’G, it’s good you have a thick skin – were I in your shoes, I don’t know if I could handle all those inane comments on VN without blowing a blood vessel or something. I have a hard enough time as it is simply perusing the news online, and none of what I read is directed at me personally. More and more often, I agree with Larry: People. Are. Stupid.
Thanks for embedding that Cinzano truck clip, O’G. Almost gave me a Boehner Moment.
That movie once inspired me to draft an eighteen wheeler from near Milller Place back to Port Jeff Station on the way back from a ride out to Mattituck, back when I had legs and time rather than a real job an neither of the former. Ahh, to be young and foolish again…
Joey, I’ve been at this for a long time, since I had hair, and one thing I’ve learned is that you can’t take idiocy to heart. It became apparent early on that most letters to the editor came from pissed-off people — anger is a powerful motivator, it seems — and with the advent of the Innertubes, it’s even easier to go postal on someone. Don’t need an envelope or a stamp or nothin’.
K, I did something similar once, in Santa Fe — drafting a dump truck on Old Pecos. Caught it as it was slowly building speed from a stop and chased it for quite a spell, with the dudes in it hollering encouragement. Big fun. Never even occurred to me to think, “Hey, what if the driver decides to slam on his brakes?” Young(er) and foolish, indeed.
Now you got me thinking about Cinzano….might have to pour some tonight….maybe mix up a nice Negroni? Breaking Away is on my all-time movie fave list…right up there with Big Night. I crack up every time I remember the kid’s dad saying, “I don’t want no Eye-ty food dammit, I want American food….I want French Fries!”
Seems the Tea-baggers have already hit the wall – off the back before the real racing has even gotten started. None of them have a clue what the broom wagon looks like, but they’re going to be riding it it until the end of their terms. Palin and Beck are quite the ship captains, eh? Can you spell iceberg?
Ferchrissakes, there’s some scary shit in those comments following OG’s rant. I’ve never gone on and read any of them before, and now, I don’t think I ever will again. Who in the hell are these people?
Sometimes I think I’m living on the fuckin’ moon, with all these batshit nutballs circling around. Seriously: do these people actually engage in conscious, deliberative thought? Maybe just once a month?
Welcome to what US cycling has become David! I have a theory that some much smarter than me have quantified. I call it the a-hole theory and I’ve observed it in more than a few instances. The premise is if you double the number of folks participating in something, the number of a-holes involved increases not two-fold but TEN-fold. Think about anything you enjoyed participating in (I think of back when I was a marathon runner or motorcycle racer) and reflect on what happened when/if this activity went mainstream or otherwise became one of the “things to do”. As soon as the numbers double the a-hole factor kicks in and all kinds of idiots get involved and soon enough “your” activity is wrecked or at least greatly changed — and not for the better. It always seems to end up in the “did not!”, “did too!” and “you suck” situation before these bozos move on to the next “big thing”.
The latest rants on VN.com that have me chuckling while shaking my head are the ones about the evil, clueless UCI making the poor ol’ Tour of California invite teams from their region (Colombians!) instead of so many Euro-pro or domestic pro teams. Maybe these folks need to do an NFL or NBA style cycling league here in the USA so they can thumb their noses at the UCI? It could be the NASCAR of cycling, laughed at by everyone else in the world but adored by the good ol’ marketing boys in the US of A. Our move to Italy can’t come soon enough…2018’s not that far away, meanwhile we’ll spend more and more time over there each year until we can move over permanently.
Starting to wonder what I will do in 2016, when I hopefully hang up my test tubes for the last time and give the keys to the mass spec lab to some other bozo in waiting. Meanwhile, I agree with Larry. The A-hole equation must be an exponential function of participants.
“The Thomas Jefferson Hour” is taking up the topic of civility in discourse today. Click on Show 93, “Civility.” Of course, those of us (like me) who make outlandish statements should not be surprised when others take offense and return the favor.
A friend maintains that the only equipment necessary for a truly enjoyable game of golf is (1) a putter, (2) a Wrist Rocket™, and (C) a large cooler of cold beer. He has been thrown off a few courses, much as we should throw the humorless golf yuppies out of our peletons.
I once bombed past a manure spreader on a downhill, then had to ride like hell to hold him off up the other side. That was a lot like the intersection of cycling & politics, except the spreader driver was a lot more civil than the average right-wing pol. Fortunately for me. Very fortunately.
PAtrick,
The Rant seemed kinda tame compared to your glory years of the early aughts. Went back to re-read it and now there’s a 404 error. Has the Ministry of Homeland Security caught on that you are a threat to the somnolence of our WTF country?
Its back up right now, Ben.
Ben, Khal, we’ve recently been experiencing some more “technical difficulties” at VeloNews.com (remember the good old days of B&W TV going sideways?). I blame society.
As to the foaming content of the latest rant, frankly, I wish this column had never been designated “Friday’s Foaming Rant.” I don’t like getting pigeonholed like that. It’s tough to maintain that level of belligerent exasperation, and occasionally I feel like writing something that isn’t the equivalent of a drunkard with a bullhorn daring the cops to shoot him.
I actually had two rants going simultaneously, and chose this one for VN.com for reasons that elude me now. It probably should’ve gone to Bicycle Retailer, but I wrote a kind of low-octane thumbsucker for them last issue and wanted to crank up the volume a bit for March. The other one is still in progress, and the more I fiddle with it, the more it looks like something I should’ve done for VN.com.
Thank God I’m not writing a third column for Adventure Cyclist.
Just went back and read it.
This had far less foam than a vintage rant, O’G, and a lot more of a sharpened edge about what has befallen pro cycling.