No, really …

Palmer Lake on April Fool's Day 2011

This minor metropolis is a pleasant, slightly uphill, nearly auto-free 25 miles from Dog Central.

This is not an April Fool’s joke, no matter what you may have seen over at VeloNews.com: I not only had nothing to do with this year’s April Foolery, I spent the day riding my Nobilette ’cross bike from Chez Dog to Palmer Lake and back.

I developed delusions of grandeur on the outbound leg and nearly rode to the Greenland Open Space trailhead, but the restrooms along the way were still closed and their water fountains shut off, so I turned my little comedy act around at Palmer Lake lest I dry up and blow away.

And a good thing, too, ’cause I found myself chewing on a headwind all the way home.

All in all, I wound up with 50 miles on the day, which ain’t bad for an old man riding a steel bike off-road. But Lord, was I slow. I won’t tell you how slow. You might defect to some other blog. Let’s just say that last year I covered the distance 15 minutes quicker than I did today.

Of course, that was on June 1, not April 1. And I had a tailwind for the homebound leg last year, plus 2,000 miles in my legs. This year, not so much. Plus the Republicans have control of the House, which slows everything up, including me.

11 Responses to “No, really …”

  1. BenS Says:

    Damn Republicans. Got one in the house once too. Squirrels cause less damage.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Ben, we got a woodrat in the Weirdcliffe house once that looked just like Louie Gohmert. But he was smarter, because he kept his mouth shut. We shot him anyway, on the legal authority of a rat writ, writ for a rat, after lawful service of same. Extra credit for recognizing the film reference.

      • BenS Says:

        True Grit, but I think the scene didn’t make it into the Cohen Bros remake.

        41 miles, 47 degrees and slightly faster than last time out. Hope it’s a trend.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Ding ding ding! We have a winner. The John Wayne version, to be sure. And I think Jeff Bridges could’ve topped him on that scene too.

  2. Sharon Says:

    The important thing is to do the miles. Sometimes you just have to worry about the speed later. Going to do a 100K tomorrow and just hoping the wind gods do not piss on my parade.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Sharon, right you are. Saddle up, hit the trail and damn the mesquite.

      In my dotage I’m striving mightily not to battle the wind. It’s there, it won’t go away, you have derailleurs and drop bars, so gear down, hunker down and deal with it. Time is relative, especially when there are relatives about. Slather on the sunblock, stay hydrated and keep one eye peeled for skinny coyotes.

      Where are you riding mañana?

  3. James Says:

    Didn’t some famous Belgian once say that “in order to go fast, you must go slow?”

  4. Khal Spencer Says:

    50 clicks ain’t bad for April 1st. Its a bit of a mental effort to get out on the road in the cold with a 20 mph wind. At least for this 57 year old fat bastard.

    Meena was going through boxes and boxes of old stuff in the back room yesterday in preparation for some “home improvements” about to happen. She found a pic of me looking 20 years younger and 20 lbs lighter from my Oahu Cycling Team/Team Bike Way days. We both got a chuckle out of that one: “who is that guy in the white and green jersey?”

    Gasp…

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      K, it was warmish yesterday, but not as nice as predicted, and I found myself slightly underdressed for temps in the upper 50s. Knee warmers would’ve been nice; at least I had the good sense to carry arm warmers, and I used ’em, too.

      Never look at old photos. Never ever. I have a high school yearbook containing a picture of me with my swim-team mates and I don’t even look like the same species, much less the same person.

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