Herself and I dined out this evening with a neighbor and some of her out-of-town family, with whom we have become friendly over the years.
There was wine afterward on our back deck, and as it was getting dark nobody noticed (I hope) the half-assed mowing job I did yesterday. Miss Mia Sopaipilla and Buddy the Wonder Dog made brief appearances to rave reviews, but Turkish refused to leave his dressing room, citing obscure union regs about dogs and cats and never the twain shall meet outside the Thunderdome, and certainly not while the party of the first part is wearing a ridiculous purple harness and leash, which is the only way the big galoot gets outside since collecting a nasty and expensive abscess while at large and unfettered.
All in all, it was a pleasant way to end a day of making bricks without straw at PharaohNews. A casual glance at the interwebs at midshift unearthed a few small-helmet types aghast at our lack of investigative journalism. This is not unlike complaining that the free blowjob you just got from the unemployed barmaid didn’t include a free shot of top-shelf tequila with an artisan-beer back.
Mad Blog Media 
Yes, the the interwebs are often gassy and bilious and I can’t stop cracking up at your last paragraph.
Glad to hear that you had a wonderful summer evening. Sorry to hear that Turk was a bit sullen and declined your invite.
Hey, Libby,
Glad you liked that one … my inner degenerate pops up for a look-see every now and then and he rarely uses his inside voice.
We’re trying to get Turk reacquainted with his harness and leash, and so far it’s something of a struggle. He knows that it’s his ticket to the great outdoors, but he hates it like poison.
I got him out for a while today without losing any blood and he gave the stink-eye to a neighbor’s dog who was bounding around the yard unfettered. You could see the voice balloon over his head: “It’s one hell of a world when dogs run free and cats are leashed.”
Is Turk a tea party cat?
He just might be. The Turk is white, with blue eyes, so he has that whole Aryan thing going on.
Plus he is jobless, uneducated and totally dependent upon the government (Herself and me) for his sustenance, housing, transportation and medical care.
And yet he rails against higher authority whenever he doesn’t get exactly what he wants.
PharaohNews, eh? Gotta giggle outa that one. I think we gotta find a new nation to live in, O’G.
K, the ragged edge seems closer every day. I hate the idea of letting a knuckle-dragging gaggle of asshats run me out of my own country, though.
I enjoyed a pleasant middle-class upbringing courtesy of two survivors of the Great Depression and World War II, and I’ve had a mostly pain-free adulthood, barring chronic bouts of angst and despair.
Seems to me I should be giving something back. I’m just not certain the country wants it.
Never dress a big cat in purple, and if you’re going to complain about a free blowjob, it will most likely be in about a week or so.
As for letting the Mouth Breathers have the place, I’m against it. I have kids who deserve better than that, and I see it as my job to make it so!
The a-hats are driving me out, (we got no kids) we’re working every day on a permanent way to escape to Italy, where they have plenty of ’em too, but the good food, wine and other pleasures of life there make putting up with them much, much easier. It’s really less about the politics and more about the lack of culture in general. Add in the great cycling and there’s no comparison!
Hey Patrick! You said you’re thinking about giving something back, yes? Well, have you ever considered going into politics? I think Bill Maher has a suggestion for a gig t that practically has your name written on it: “The only way to pull the debate back from the far right is for liberals to elect their own slate of 60 unstable, loony tune, mad-as-a-hatter, crazy motherfuckers.”
Get the full job description here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/07/bill-maher-liberal-tea-party_n_920268.html
I saw that episode too, John.
Good idea. I think we need to put together a slate in all fifty states. Any takers?
Run, Patrick, Run!
http://videos.mediaite.com/embed/player/container/540/541/?layout=&playlist_cid=&media_type=video&content=6BFSG00KK3KWVG48&read_more=1&widget_type_cid=svp&referrer=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffingtonpost.com%2F2011%2F08%2F07%2Fbill-maher-liberal-tea-party_n_920268.html#
We live in a country where, if you want a label, all you have to do is give it to yourself, and no one questions it.
Let’s say you’re all for one-size-fits-all federal policies on who can sleep with whom, or mandating that every child in the public school system prays to the same God at the same time in the same way, every day. There’s nothing “conservative” about that, no matter which direction you tilt the dictionary, but just call yourself a “social conservative” and no one will question it.
Let’s say you’re the mayor of the only city in the entire state of Alaska with a sales tax. Instead of doing away with it, you double it, and then get the city involved in all sorts of real estate speculation. There’s nothing conservative about that, but just go ahead and call yourself a “conservative maverick,” and the general public will eat it up.
And let’s say you want to start a war. Fuck it, let’s start two. But you don’t want to pay for any of it. In fact, you want cash back at the end of the year, while you borrow from China to pay for beans and bullets. That is the very definition of “not supporting the troops,” but you can fix it by just putting a red, white and blue ribbon magnet on your 8 mpg land yacht, which lets you call yourself a patriot.
I just don’t get it anymore … The folks who scream the loudest that somehow God has picked this country above all others; who think that every time the Founding Fathers took a shit, it came out gold; who think that America is so great that you should have to have a membership card to enjoy its freedoms and liberties … these same people will scream the loudest that there’s nothing worth paying for here.
NEVER underestimate the power of the Repuglicans to get folks to act against their own self-interest. Ya gotta hand it to ’em – they truly are wizards at scaring the shit out of (I’ll try to be nice here) less than bright folks and getting them to help with their agenda. It works everywhere…in Italy they have chapters of the Lega Nord, (the ultra right wing, fascist group who wants to take what is basically the rich, northern part of the country and secede from Italy – calling their new country Padania) in the SOUTH! Yep, the very people they want to cut off from their wealth are involved in helping them do it! You know what my wife says…
P-A-S
Patrick, you still alive?
Maybe he’s busy filling out nomination forms.
Me thinks the dog kidnapped the cats
Well, since Patrick is off somewhere else, anyone wanna talk bike racing?
I’ll start: Did you see stage 1 of the Tour of Utah yesterday? Man, if you had GC hopes and your team isn’t called Radioshak or Gobernacion then you might as well go home. But before you leave, a reminder: a chase group is suppose to actually, you know, chase, not give up over two minutes in 20 miles. Meanwhile, the win and wheelsucker of the day award goes to Jesse Anthony of Kelly Benefit Strategies. That’ll teach the Toasted Sandwich Tour not to leave them out next year.
See? We managed to avoid politics and the depressing stuff for a day.
Here maybe this will draw POG out.
VeloNews reports Michele Bachman has renounced politics to take over as CEO of Trek. Greg LeMond is coming in as COO.
Maybe VN.com sent a hit squad after him because of that investigative blowjob comment. He is trapped in a basement somewhere chained to a stationary bicycle powering the laptops in the Competitor corporate office.
Khal,
That sounds mostly like a typical day in the velo barrel. Maybe Turkish moved beyond citing union rules to direct action?
I knew it! All we’ve been hearing about has been how the dog has moved in and Turk/Mia are taking it laying down. The glove was thrown and they finally accepted! Patrick made the mistake of getting in the middle and is now in the local ICU with Herself by his bedside. Buddy has disappeared, Mia’s not talking, and the Turk is licking a suspicious red liquid off his fur. “Dog, what dog?”
Ha…Turkish and Mia have already formed the CO chapter of The Donner Party. Perhaps Patrick and herself have already been served up to the new bosses.