Once again satire runs a very poor second to reality: Bibleburg recently pissed away $111,000 to come up with a new tagline — “Live It Up!” — along with a logo that would look right at home on a bottle of something or other.
Never mind that drunkards living it up in the Tejon Street saloon district, and then beating the shit out of/knifing/shooting each other in the streets after last call, are hardly the stuff of a solid Chamber of Commerce campaign in a town shunned by venture capitalists, where unemployment was pegged at 8.6 percent in September, slightly above the statewide average.
The new tagline is reminiscent of a similar campaign in Richard Russo’s “Nobody’s Fool,” led by a dimwitted huckster of a bank president who has the brainstorm of hanging a street banner that reads “Things Are Looking ↑ in Bath,” equating its brilliance with the fabled “I ♥ NY” campaign.
The citizenry and merchants of Bath “were not fetched by this argument,” wrote Russo. “They were waiting for something tangible. …”
As are the citizenry and merchants of Bibleburg, no doubt. Given our reputation for religious intolerance and right-wing idiocy, perhaps “Live It Down!” might have been closer to the mark.
Or how about this? “We’re Jobless, Broke and Hungry, and We Can’t Eat Scenery.” Or bullshit, either, for that matter.
Mad Blog Media 
Hmm. How about …
“What happens in Bibleburg, stays in Bibleburg!”
Might work for certain megapastors. They get to do all the fun stuff!
Hm. We might be able to tie that one in with “The Other White Meat.”
You should put a warning on that. I almost got coffee all over my keyboard … !
Ahhhh. Shades of “Whip Inflation Now”.
Seriously. You just can’t make this shit up. And making shit up is what I do, so I should know. How come I don’t have a six-figure check burning a hole in my pocket?
Looks like Bibleburg is trying to rival Dysfunction Junction as the dipshit capital of the state, but on this one GJ has your town beat, O’G. Grand Junction did the whole “pay a consultant a shitload of money to come up with an uninspired and boring logo” thing about five or six years ago. Go to GJ’s website right now (http://www.gjcity.org/) and you’ll see the logo top center. Like Bibleburg, that cost us in the low six figures. The only difference is the original has a lower case “g” in Grand Junction, as if to tell the world that not only are so stupid that we pay consultants to make designs that a middle schooler could out-do, but we can’t spell either.
Other towns around here have made a fun contest out of designing a logo, and have far better (and far cheaper) logos as a result.
Your next step might be to find out who the consultant was and if, by some amazing coincidence, that person just happens to share the same last name as the mayor, a council person, or a city administrator. Or all of the above.
Jesus. That’s an award-winner for sure. We should propose some alternatives, get in on the big money. How about “Grand Junction: Gateway to Fruita?” Here’s another: “Colorado Springs: Sucks Less Than Pueblo.” Anyone else? Don’t be shy.
Four bases and an Acadamy, we’ve got more nukes pointed our way than Pueblo. Live it up!
“There really are three major challenges in putting this together,”
(Read more: http://www.gazette.com/articles/new-128575-springs-live.html#ixzz1duVwPAp0)
What? Finding three dipshits willing to stand up in front of a crowd and hold the signs?
Given what cops and firefighters make these days I wonder which three were or will be laid off to pay for that?
You are correct P O’G. You can’t make this shit up.
And they had to go to Castle Rock for this wizardry, MD. Can’t find that kind of top-shelf talent here in Bibleburg. Everyone’s too busy living it up (rimshot). Hey, what is this, an audience or an oil painting? I know you’re out there — I can hear you breathing.
My father-in-law always called consultants “people from out of town with slides” back in the day. It’s amazing what these small cities will pay for folks to tell them the obvious or pay for stuff they could get easily by offering a prize to the locals to design. Meanwhile the euro crisis continues with the Germans seemingly trying to wait until just before things collapse before agreeing to turn on the euro printing presses and rescue Italy. I’d have no problem with a cheaper euro vs the US greenback but economic collapse is probably best avoided in the long term, Ms. Merkel. Just sayin’
The Occupy folks need to join up with the labor unions for one or a series of general strikes to make their point. Every union member along with every sympathizer all taking the same day off would make a good point to the plutocrats and the US government. Just might scare ’em into doing something about the 99% of us.
Amen, brother, regarding unions and Occupiers.
We have the same deal in bombtown as far as outside consultants. Hire outside consultants to tell us what we can figure out ourselves. Its pretty silly. Its pretty weird.
Weird, but understandable. The consultant used to work in the same office, and he gets hired by someone who thinks he might be needing a new job down the road.
Anyone read The Management Myth?
speaking of hiring, I like that logo. Bibleburg should hire Patrick to do its advertising and p.r.
You want to see the definition of stupid? The mug shot is worth a thousand words.
http://www.timesunion.com/news/article/NY-man-wearing-I-m-a-drunk-shirt-accused-of-DWI-2274397.php
What’s going on in Fort Collins? Isn’t that in CO too? Read an interesting piece in the IHT today about what sounds like intelligent spending and development there. I guess not everyone’s insane?