Merry Christmas, you’re fired!

The Bibleburg Gazoo continues to bleed like a hemophiliac with Ebolla in a sandpaper suit.

Yesterday word came — not from the Gazoo, natch — that owner Freedumb Communications had sacrificed another dozen or so staffers to The Invisible Hand of the Free Market.

It wasn’t clear whether editor Jeff Thomas was among those fed to the Beast or resigned in protest.

Today, the G finally issued a statement — in MarketSpeak®. Any journalist who would write content-free spooge like the following should be slapped in the mouth with a copy of “The Elements of Style” (duct-taped to a baseball bat).

The goal is to reposition The Gazette’s content center strategically to create and facilitate community conversation around issues that are important to the region, and deliver relevant information that serves the needs of readers on any platform.

“We need to evolve to meet the changing needs of our audience,” (content director Carmen) Boles said. “We’re embarking on a transformation. We want to collaborate in real-time with the community in defining what is relevant.”

Talk about spinning a story about continuing layoffs at a struggling newspaper in hopes of showing vision rather than myopia. This would be good for an F-minus in any tank-town community-college journalism class. George Gladney would have stuffed copy like this up the author’s ass back in 1977.

I still know people at the G, folks who are doing good work under difficult circumstances. But there are some dreadful hacks on the payroll, too, as the above clip shows all too clearly. And frankly, any newspaper that gives Michelle Malkin a platform is going to have trouble “defining what is relevant.”

It can’t be long before Billy Dean Simpleton at Digital Fist-MerdeNews adds the poor old Gazoo to his odiferous collection of bumwads. There goes the neighborhood.

5 Responses to “Merry Christmas, you’re fired!”

  1. ken hillier Says:

    hey ,mad dog! can you post this one again tomorrow in language we can unnnnnnnerstand you know!!! ///i have a degree in english lit and could not figure out that statement ///silly me !!!/hope you are not fired /love the blog!!!

  2. Chris Says:

    Shee-it. “reposition the content center strategically”??? You are right about Gladney. After stuffing it up the author’s ass, George would douse him in warm Coors and 86 him from the building.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Bruh, that was just woeful. Not even Polyester Fats could squeeze out a stunner like that one. Someone In Authority needs to reposition his/her head from the warm, damp, smelly place it currently occupies or have a Plexiglas belly button installed.

  3. Andy Bohlmann Says:

    Our daily Gazette subscription is over…no more!

    But, the “Republicans” across the street watch Fox on their big screen which we can see from our front window and still get the Gazette.

    The lady over there is nice enough but she calls me, “One of them!”

  4. Jeff Cozad Says:

    Man… I could call bingo on my Management Bingo Card about three times with that one. About the only word I didn’t see used was synergy in some form or the other. I also like how “Editor” has morphed into “content director”. At least it didn’t turn into “Thought Leader”.

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