The cheese does not stand alone

~ Patrick O'Grady
Fear and Loathing, Campaign Trail style
The more things change, etc.

So, dead heat between Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum in Iowa, eh? Guess nobody bothered to write in Haywood Jablomie, Jack Meehoff or I.P. Freeley.

Watching the food fight over the GOP pestilential nomination has been like watching a Coen Brothers treatment of Hunter S. Thompson’s “Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail ’72.” Or maybe a round of musical chairs with all the participants crazed on mescaline.

Mitt Romney keeps smiling because he owns all the chairs, the building in which they sit and the surrounding properties to boot. But that doesn’t make him any less a bag of runny owlshit that nobody’s buying as long as there’s anything else for sale.

The big cheese may eventually stand alone. All the smart money’s on it. But right now he’s doing a tango with Man-On-Dog Santorum, and he can’t be feeling too frothy about it.

18 thoughts on “The cheese does not stand alone”

  1. I’m going to have to get F&L out of the library and give it a re-read. In the interests of “Deep Political Thought”, here is a map of how all of the 99 counties in Iowa went

    http://iowagop.org/

    Basically, most all of rural Iowa was behind Santorum and the urban/suburban went to Rommney. I can’t explain Rue Paul… I mean Ron Paul… (Sorry, I think that everytime I see his name) and why those rural counties went that way.

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    1. Hey Jeff. I looked for a map at that link but couldn’t find one. I didn’t look too long, though,…just being on that site made me feel a little ill. Too close, too close….

      But if it was Santorum who took the rural counties, I can hazard a guess that it had something to do with that drumming noise you hear. It’s all them bibles being thumped.

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  2. Just about died laughing after the first paragraph. But seriously, folks. When the choice is between Chainsaw Mitt (who undoubtedly created lots of jobs—overseas) and Rick “Born Again” Santorum, when will the adults in the nation flee the GOP in disgust?

    Of course we forget Heather’s three words at our peril.

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  5. I didn’t use any of your suggestions, but I did write “none of the above” on my ballot. I didn’t see it listed in the results. As scary as some of the candidates are, some of their supporters are scarier.

    One woman(?) in my precinct did write in Herman Cain (AKA, “Haywood Jablome”)

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  6. Sir, Your comment regard Republicans and Musical Chairs defames musical chairs and well mescaline for that matter too.

    Jeff I wouldn’t be surprised if your Perry quote is from Kinky himself. Kinky as Governor of Texas, now that’s an alternative universe to consider.

    With Kinky as Gov of Texas that would mean the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers as Pres, VP and Attorney General with Oat Willie as Secretary of DOT? Ronnie Raygun would still be Gov or California though.

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  7. Isn’t that entire second paragraph redundant? As in, was not the good Dr. HST, well, crazed on mescaline for a good portion of it? Or was that just him taking ‘liberties’ again with his writing?

    Either way, I really wish he was round to make sense of it all because no one else could really cut through the excrement so fondly.

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  8. I’m glad I’m NOT in Iowa these days. All I knew of the Repug silliness was that the CycleItalia office telephone there was filled with annoying robo-calls from these kooks’ campaigns. Now they can go bother some other states! Romney’s the only adult in the Repug room but I’m thinking (hoping) there’s so much bad ju-ju in his closet that enough of it will get out to make folks think (I know that’s a LOT to ask) twice before pulling the lever for a corporate raider type. ANY of these folks who try to compare running a government to running a corporation are comparing apples to meatballs…the citizens are NOT customers – the government should not simply cater to the ones it likes and can make a buck from.
    Mitt will fit well into a “99% vs Romney” theme so the Occupy folks will have a chance to derail his money train on the way to the White House. It’ll be full of money…. but off the tracks and into a ditch, I hope.
    Then we can start pestering Obama to restore those civil liberties he was so concerned about back when he was candidate Obama.

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    1. The Donks really do need to concentrate on the Chainsaw Mitt message (referring back to corporate raider/CEO “Chainsaw Al” Dunlap, for those who need the reference). Thirty or forty years of corporate raiding, short term profit making, and sending viable jobs overseas has not done this nation well. I’m not a Luddite, either, but when you outsource jobs to elsewhere, its important for the nation to replace them with something besides “want fries with that, sir?”

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  9. Ha! Thanks for the literary reminder. “F&L on the Campaign Trail” was my first introduction to the late Dr. Thompson at I believe the impressionable age of 17. I discovered him and Vonnegut about the same time and no doubt my parents wondered wtf was up. I am sure my dog-eared and well annotated copy is still on the shelf around here somewhere.

    Reply

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