Cops ‘n’ robbers

Yesterday a neighbor came home from visiting a friend to find a surprised burglar in his house, pointing his own .38 Special at him. I’d call that a Monday times, oh, ’bout a thousand.

So we had cops out the wazoo for a spell, in cars, astride motorcycles, on foot, with dogs. Bupkis. The scumbag got away, as scumbags often do.

I went through our house, checking to make sure that all our various smokepoles were unloaded and the bullets stashed elsewhere, so that I can surprise anyone who points one at me by clocking him with a skillet.

Which once again raises the question: “Why the fuck do I have all these goddamn things in my house if I’m gonna draw down on a baddie with a skillet instead?”

Good question. One of these days I intend to answer it.

Meanwhile, Herself celebrated her (mumble-mumble)th birthday today. I sang her “Happy Birthday” twice and got her a new MacBook Pro to replace the abacus she had been using. She says I can live here for another year if I don’t get shot accidentally on purpose with one of my own guns.

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27 Responses to “Cops ‘n’ robbers”

  1. Patrick O'Brien Says:

    Sell all the ones that aren’t fun to shoot, lock the remainder, or just a vital part of them, in a safe , and use the proceeds to buy a new bike or frame. Just because you own a gun doesn’t mean you are willing to shoot or kill an intruder. or forced to make that choice at this time.

    • Patrick O'Brien Says:

      PS: We read about the “Chin Spin” and can’t wait to see the Boo man do the dance for a piece of carrot. And Duffy weighed in today and has lost almost a pound, which is a big deal if you started at 12 pounds.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        The “Chin Spin” really is something to see. The Boo does it when he’s really cranked up, like in the mornings (when breakfast is nigh) and in the evenings (dinner). He’ll also do it when you come home after an extended absence. Little bugger can get some serious air. Hang time, too.

        He also does something we call “a prolonged squawk,” from Python’s parrot sketch. Basically it’s an extended spaz attack, usually on the couch, and it looks a little something like this.

  2. Khal Spencer Says:

    Glad your neighbor got just a scare rather than a case of acute lead poisoning.

    Like you, I make sure everything is hidden in a different place. Mollie the psychopathic and protective border collie is the first line of defense and a pretty formidable one indeed. The ceremonial kukri knife makes a second line of defense, esp. if I put on the kaffiyeh and scream invectives in the ancestral language while wielding it.

    Back my senior year in college, I shared an apartment with the girlfriend in a crappy part of Rochester, which was affordable. The three guys downstairs were students from RIT. My senior year, a U of Rochester classmate I knew was stabbed to death two blocks from our apartment after she surprised an intruder. I went home to my parent’s house and picked up my 16 gauge pump action shotgun and a box of deer slugs. The guys downstairs secured a hand cannon.

    Couple weeks later, a windstorm blew open a screen door and I woke up with girlfriend looking worried and me pointing a locked and loaded shotgun at the door, safety off. I would have loved to have blown away the cockroach who murdered my classmate, but in my case, was lucky to not be blowing away my own front door. Don’t really want to go there again. But I suspect in places like Bibleburg, Fanta Se, and Albuquerque, the bad economy makes that somewhat likely.

    Be careful out there.

  3. Larry T. Says:

    Interesting to note less households in the gun-happy USA actually have guns these days, while the passionate gun-nuts are buying more of ’em. Had one held to the back of my neck once while another perp tried to tie my hands behind my back. That’s as close as I ever want to be to either end of one of these things. I don’t buy the gun lobby’s argument that the only guy who can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun…reality gets in the way of that argument. Melt ’em all down OG!
    Meanwhile did anyone see the penultimate stage of Tirreno-Adriatico? THAT was some spectacle – no matter how doped any of those guys might be, they ALL looked pretty mortal to me!
    Oh, and buon compleanno to “herself” from another member of the “if not for my wife I’d probably be living in a cardboard box somewhere” fraternity. I think there are plenty of us who blather on here that are members?

  4. Libby Says:

    Happy Birthday to Herself!
    Glad that you are both safe and hope you are over the flu.

  5. khal spencer Says:

    Funny we should be on this subject, O’G. One of our high school kids locked himself in his room last night and checked out of this life courtesy of a gunshot.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Aw, jeez, that’s sad. When you’re that age you think the awful bits are gonna go on forever. Mostly they don’t, of course, but you have to hang around awhile to figure that out, and some kids just can’t.

      I’ve known a bunch of suicides. One with a razor, a few with drugs, one jumper (the Golden Gate Bridge) and the rest with guns. If they’re hellbent on going, they’re gonna go, one way or another, but a gun sure makes it easier.

  6. Trailer Park Cyclist Says:

    I got rid of mine when my seven year old started showing a healthy interest in his inner john wayne. Twenty years later I’m still here and so is he. In that amount of time, the only occasion that found me wishing for a gun in my hand was a good time for me not to have one. It’s an unsolvable debate, like abortion and helmets and tastes great less filling. (remember that?)

    We got a long way to go as a species, wouldn’t you say?

    khal, I am sorry for your local tragedy. At least he didn’t drop by a grade school on his way out.

    • khal spencer Says:

      I was thinking the same thing this afternoon, Tim. At least the kid checked out alone. As bad as that is for everybody, its far better than going out in a blaze of glory at the local grade school or donut shop. One of my classmates, a personal friend, checked out by his own hand right after graduation. It left the rest of us haunted for a while.

  7. sherkat Says:

    All Clad Stainless.

  8. Boz Says:

    Two blocks east of our casa, a guy was stabbed to death. Not so unusual for this end of town. But what was unusual was this Iraqi war vet was stabbed 73 times! Overkill, (pun not intended) to say the least. The Mrs. wants me to get a conceal carry permit for protection thinking 4 cats, though well trained and fiercely territorial, aren’t enough and that at least 9mm of lead would be better. I’m thinking a Street Sweeper would be more effective and looks so much cooler. Bad ass, too!

    • Khal Spencer Says:

      Street sweeper is a kinda big to carry outside the house but a 12 ga loaded with #4 buck or bigger is my personal choice for convincing someone they have the wrong address. I’m not sure what the sex appeal is to an AR-15 when its cheaper to buy a smokepipe with a hole in the end so big you can crawl inside. Plus, there is that unmistakeable sound of a pump action shotgun having a round chambered. I think these assault rifles are being sold to folks with, shall we say, undersized personal equipment.

      9 mm is thought to be a little anemic in a crisis. My police chief here says one of his cops down in Florida (when he was a supervisor down there) once hit a crook 6 or 7 times with a 9 mm and the guy still shot him in return. Chief Torpy carries a 45 ACP. I’d not go lighter than 40 do our local folks in blue.

      Interestingly, New Mexico is an open carry state. I can buy a hand cannon and carry it into the State Capitol, locked and loaded, as long as it is clearly visible. OTOH, getting a CC here is tougher than in NYS, at least presently. Andrew Cuomo will change that.

      This country puts way too much stock in guns and not enough into civilizing our population. Its gone insane..

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Most of the cops around here are packing .40s, I believe. I hated covering the cop shop, but I always loved reading about cops in Joe Wambaugh novels, particularly the early stuff.

        In “The Choirboys,” he had Roscoe Rules discussing the relative merits of the .38 vs. the .357 Magnum when it came to shooting a gas-station burglar:

        “That sucker could run the hundred in ten flat till my partner shot him, and then he ran it in nine-nine.”

        In “The Fool’s Progress,” Ed Abbey had Don Williams call the .41 Magnum “the optimum personal antipersonnel weapon.” I had one once, a thousand-pound S&W with a six-inch barrel, and if it wasn’t loaded you could always slap a baddie senseless with it.

        The shotgun is probably the best home-defense weapon, if you must have one. I’ve heard you can make do with a 20-gauge and No. 3 buck if you don’t like the kick of a 12-gauge. But cut loose with a mag full of 7.62x39mm from the Mini-Thirty, for example, and while you make a fine scary noise, there’s a strong chance of sending a neighbor or two to Jesus along with the evildoer.

      • Khal Spencer Says:

        Mini-30 is a nice rifle if you can find one. They are being bought up like hotcakes by all those middle aged white guys (ahem…) who think that Kenyan-Socialist-Darkie President of ours is going to send out the guys in the black helicopters and blue UN helmets to take away our women, rape our guns, and cut off our penises.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I have a Mini Thirty — it’s fun as hell to shoot. Got mine before Ruger started making ’em all “tactical,” so it has the wood stock. Christ, they cost a ton now. Must be a dingbat tax.

      Come to think of it, the sound of someone chambering a round in a Mini Thirty is kind of intimidating, too. Schlick-shlack. And if it jams, well — like the .41 Mag’, you can always use it as a Louisville Slugger.

      • Patrick O'Brien Says:

        You guys are giving me testosterone poisoning. Besides, no sound is scarier than a single action revolver being cocked. They are also cheaper to feed. Welcome to the wild west.

      • Khal Spencer Says:

        Any lock and load sound is scary if you hear it in the dark, on the street, or from the next room of the house where it ought not to be.

        I’ve always liked those M1 Carbine knockoffs chambered for modern ammo but like you, have little interest in the black rifles, the so called tactical stuff that seems to be the choice of the lunatics who blow away grade schools and movie theatres.

        Some guys were shooting Mini 14s at the Los Alamos range one day when I was sighting in the 300 H&H Magnum that my late uncle left me (my late uncle, an MD who was a rabid political liberal, was a bona fide gun nut too). These youngsters were blowing brass all over the place in great quantities, having a heck of a good time, and leaving the brass lying there. It was amazing. That stuff is worth money, and reloading is a hell of a lot cheaper than buying factory loads. Go figure.

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