This blows

Ah, jaysis, the banshees were howlin’ last night at Rancho Pendejo.

The winds commenced just past bedtime and have yet to abate. ‘Twas like trying to sleep in a 1972 Ford Econoline van with four bald retreads, a vacuum leak and a couple cardboard windows bouncing down a dirt road with a payload of galvanized duct, empty Coors cans and snare drums.

The cats were yowling like devils and the fireplace screen was flapping like Lindsey Graham’s gob and the wind chimes sounded like each and every one of the sonsabitches was being played by an itty bitty Quasimodo who’d gotten into the blue meth.

The Boo, naturally, slept right through it all. He’s asleep right now, the one-eyed little slacker, in his donut next to my iMac.

I may just curl up next to him. Right after I drive a letter opener into both eardrums and shoot a little smack.

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28 Responses to “This blows”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    You must have heard that old joke? Why is the wind so strong in New Mexico? Because Texas sucks and Arizona blows.

  2. md anderson Says:

    I woke up to 4 inched of white stuff and took a lovely walk with my own little rascal of a dog. He was up barking at all sorts of imaginary beasties last night and since I’m the only two-legged creature with opposable thumbs in the house for this week I couldn’t just roll over and poke the guy next to me to tell him to deal with it.

    Its nice and sunny now but freaking cold and the roads are bound to be a mess. Trainer time I guess.

    • khal spencer Says:

      Roads were a salty, slushy mess up in BombTown today. Too bad, too, because the best way to get to work on a snow delay day is on a bicycle, and I was too much of a wimp to want to get mine all messed up.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Chile on the left, beans on the right, stand up, sit down, fart fart fart!

      I didn’t do a damn thing outdoors, unless you count almost falling on my ass while discovering that the driveway I had planned to shovel was a sheet of ice.

      After that I stayed inside, did a little journalism, and cooked up a one-two anti-winter punch of green chile stew and pintos in chipotle.

      • Pat O'Brien Says:

        I think I’m liking that stove top!

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        I’m getting used to it, Pat. This KitchenAid is the first gas stove top I’ve had that wasn’t green and sporting a Coleman decal since I first learned how to cook a little.

        I came to cooking late. My folks didn’t seem to think boys should know how, though Dad grilled a bit. When I got to college and found out all my Chicano pals could cook I was astonished.

        “You mean you can make green chile? Like at Farmer’s Inn? Tortillas too? No shit?” Jeez, I was ignorant.

        I’m not much smarter now, but at least I can make green chile.

      • khal spencer Says:

        When my first wife and I bid each other good bye, I learned to cook. That was a very useful skill to learn during a tough time of my life. Plus, it sure got me some dates.

      • Pat O'Brien Says:

        I have only had one electric stove. I like the quick temperature adjustment on a gas burner, especially for wok stir frying or sautéing. Gas also seems to get the pasta pot boiling faster. I have never used an induction stove, but my buddy liked his. Do you do any wok cooking?

      • khal spencer Says:

        Whether wok or pasta or eggs, the instant feedback of a gas stove is far better than an electric range. never used an induction stove, though.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        I do some simple wok cookery, with a heavy specialty in gong bao chicken. But having cooked on electric stoves all these years I’ve never used a proper wok, just a cheapo no-stick model from Joyce Chen.

        Now that we have a proper gas stove top, I have an excuse to buy a new toy. …

      • Pat O'Brien Says:

        I have a 30 year old, a gift from Sandy in 1985, carbon steel wok that will outlast me. I do simple dishes such as chicken with snow peas or fried rice. The three treasures in Chinese cooking are soy, sesame, and real ginger root. I also use the wok for Italian dishes that require the pasta to be stirred into the sauce. The wok (14 inch diameter) is big enough to sauté the other ingredients, simmer the sauce, and dump the pasta into. Sometimes I think a carbon steel wok and pasta pot are all the cookware I need, then I remember my favorite breakfast, Bob’s Red Mill thick rolled oats!

  3. Jon Paulos Says:

    Conditions in York Pee Ay are a little better. Crusted snow and light wind. Riding the trainer and watching Agents of Shield on Netflix looks pretty good to me. I wonder if anyone at Netflix has ever thought of putting old bike race coverage on. Yeah I know some of that coverage of Le Tour can be like watching grass grow, but there’s some good stuff out there. I know I’d watch it in the winter on the trainer, but am I an army of one?

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I know at least one guy who goes as far as breaking out the old VHS player so he can watch ancient Tour tapes during his roller rides. I’d say there’s a market. But I like riding nine-speed, bar-conned, canti’d steel bikes, too.

    • Larry T. Says:

      In Iowa when I’m forced to ride the trainer so I (mostly my rear end) doesn’t forget what it’s like to sit on a bicycle seat, I drag out old discs of races of old, especially if the commentary is in Italian. Anything with Heckel and Jeckel has to be muted or I might go crazy like Khal watching Joni Ernst!

  4. Larry T. Says:

    We got us a lil’ breeze here today in Rome as the rains retreat. Nothing much, especially if it’s MTB you’re riding. Long sleeve and knicker temps so nothing to complain about. PO’G- that stove looks a little TOO clean…but I guess you wiped up all the mess, then put the pots back on there just for the photo? One of the Fellows here whipped up a whole batch of Tex-Mex stuff last week, complete with homemade corn and flour tortillas! When I want “ethnic” food here we just go to a Sicilian or Sardinian place…or up to Tuscany. Last night they fed us specialties from Abruzzo…pretty tasty!

  5. Libby Says:

    That wind is pretty serious stuff. I used to read about the wind in the south of France, le mistral, driving men insane. It’s no wonder the wind was driving you around the bend and the cats, too. Boo probably had so many stressful, loud nights in the shelter that the wind doesn’t rouse him from sleep in his heaven-on-earth home with you.

  6. hurben Says:

    To use the local vernacialr, HTFU.

  7. mountainhigh10200 Says:

    I am leaving Colorado after twenty some years but when I moved here I had a wok and my Mother’s knives. When I leave in a couple of weeks I will take the same.

  8. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Good morning! Just got back from a ride before the rain starts tonight. Thought I would share this anonymous comment (wish I had thought of it) from the NPR News website. The person was commenting on the Koch Bros/Citizen’s United GOP weekend get together.

    “Fleshy face, sunken chest, sagging belly – that Ted Cruz is obviously a GOP version of a man’s man – soft men serving moneyed bullies.”

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