Dear Iran. …

Otto would've made a great GOP senator, if Wanda had only stuck around to manage his media opportunities: "Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up. "

Otto would’ve made a great GOP senator, if Wanda had only stuck around to manage his media opportunities: “Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not ‘Every man for himself.’ And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up. “

I wonder how the GOP would have reacted if Harry Reid’s Senate had tried to sabotage sensitive negotiations with a hostile foreign power during the administration of Alfred E. “Worry” Bush.

I’m sure they’d have been OK with it. Right? Right.

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26 Responses to “Dear Iran. …”

  1. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Dangerous shit this is. I guess Cotton forgot that 5 other countries were involved in these talks including Russia. Maybe Putin will take our divided government weakness as an invitation to take the rest of Ukraine.

    • Steve O Says:

      I have significant problems with both parties. I have trouble picking one as being the lesser of two very nasty evils. It’s a battle of wits between unarmed opponent’s every single day.

      But if you consider yourself a conservative, I don’t know how you look at this without just screaming “enough!”

      Enough pretending that you were the only one that knows what right looks like.

      Enough pretending that you love America but hate 51% of it.

      Enough pretending that it’s the other side who’s always out to sink this country and then turning a blind eye to your own dastardly deeds

      Enough pretending to be offended by anyone who doesn’t subscribe to American exceptionalism, while turning a blind eye to the many areas that need work.

      Enough of ideological cognitive dissonance, such as claiming to be pro life but being completely content that America is 51st in child mortality.

      But more than anything, enough of being so insecure that you’re willing to accept any knucklehead who claims to be a conservative, no matter how vile they are.

      • Steve O Says:

        For the record, I don’t consider myself a conservative or liberal. I think both are outdated modes of operating. If I could create a political party from scratch, I would take the guys from freakonomics and the guys from and put them in Jeff Goldblum’s matter transporter. I don’t give a fiddlers fart what ideology tells you; I want to see what the numbers say

    • Steve O Says:

      I’m so far out of the loop, I can’t even see the loop from here

      But I will say, when I used to have SIPR access, it used to scare me on a daily basis how esteemed Congress critters would say things in public that were as factually incorrect as possible, showing they were merely reading newspapers and not getting into the classified intelligence.

      My favorite was McCain. He was a veteran enough that he could talk the shit, but he was always out in left field as to what was actually happening on the ground and why it was happening.

      I guarantee you, you check SCIF access logs, none of these guys have bothered to get a classified update in years, if ever.

  2. khal spencer Says:

    Bunch of fucktards and nitwits. And I am trying to be nice.

  3. Larry T. Says:

    How do jerks like these get elected? Oh, I forgot… wife will remind me. These folks are as deluded as the bozos who used to run the UCI…who are now congratulating themselves on a job well done based on the CIRC report?!

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Oy. The CIRC report. Don’t remind me. I’ve already cracked one CIRCle-jerk gag on Twitter.

      Again, mostly marketing: “Sure, it’s a pig, and an ugly one at that, but at least it doesn’t have the clap anymore! Just the crabs! OK, so, maybe just a little bit of clap. But the lipstick will take care of that, right?” Right.

  4. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Fast forward to 2018. News flash: Senator Lance Armstrong from Texas will race in the 2018 Tour de France on the Koch Industries team.

  5. Jon Paulos Says:

    What happened to “politics stops at the water’s edge”? 47 senators signed this? What’s going on behind the scenes to make them forget this?

  6. Stan Thomas Says:

    Are you saying that Iran is a hostile foreign power?

    • Pat O'Brien Says:

      Well, they don’t like us much. Threat, I don’t think so. I think Pakistan and their nukes are a much bigger threat to world peace.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Well, if they’re not a hostile foreign power, they will do until one comes along. Hard to blame them for it, too, considering all the bed-shitting we’ve done over there, especially as regards the shah.

      The U.S. and Iran are allies of a sort when it comes to battling the Islamic State, but that’s basically a marriage of convenience, and there’s sure to be a bit of multitasking going on, don’t you think?

      And yeah, Pakistan and India make me a bit more nervous than does Iran at this point. So does the United States, for that matter. Observe the GOP-TP thought process (or lack thereof) at work and think about all those itchy trigger fingers just inches away from The Big Button if the silly sods snatch up the White House to add to their collection of masturbatory sex toys.

  7. JD Dallager Says:

    US News and World Report says the Senators likely broke the law — Logan Act of 1799. Will be interesting to see how/if that plays out.

    They sure broke the “ordinary, reasonable, prudent person” concept of “advise and consent” and allowing (not undermining) the US President to negotiate in good faith.

    Only 20 more months until the election!! What other tricks are we going to be regaled with?

  8. Steve O Says:

    Speaking of Apple (yesterday) and our bungled gubbermint (today), how do you like these apples?

    • Steve O Says:

      RESEARCHERS WORKING with the Central Intelligence Agency have conducted a multi-year, sustained effort to break the security of Apple’s iPhones and iPads, according to top-secret documents obtained by The Intercept.

      The security researchers presented their latest tactics and achievements at a secret annual gathering, called the “Jamboree,” where attendees discussed strategies for exploiting security flaws in household and commercial electronics. The conferences have spanned nearly a decade, with the first CIA-sponsored meeting taking place a year before the first iPhone was released.

      By targeting essential security keys used to encrypt data stored on Apple’s devices, the researchers have sought to thwart the company’s attempts to provide mobile security to hundreds of millions of Apple customers across the globe. Studying both “physical” and “non-invasive” techniques, U.S. government-sponsored research has been aimed at discovering ways to decrypt and ultimately penetrate Apple’s encrypted firmware. This could enable spies to plant malicious code on Apple devices and seek out potential vulnerabilities in other parts of the iPhone and iPad currently masked by encryption.

      The CIA declined to comment for this story.

  9. Peeling Apple for the CIA | Mad Blog Media Says:

    […] • Editor’s note: Hat tip to Steve O’ for flagging this first, in comments. […]

  10. Grumblyoldguyonabike Says:

    I worry late at night….

    Who is to say that an addictive such as candy crush or some other app like Strava hasn’t already opened the backdoor?

    The crooks have privatized the wealth, socialized the losses and funded our enemies to the $10^12.

    Larry’s wife & P.T.Barnum were both right…

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