The all clear has been sounded, reports the commander.

The all clear has been sounded, reports the commander.

El Rancho Pendejo is now firmly back under local control. The invaders have been repulsed, sent packing to Texas, Maryland and Tennessee.

Reached in his command bunker, which looks an awful lot like our kitchen sink, Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein took full credit for routing The Enemy.

The doughty commander of the crack 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment noted modestly that for his valor he has been offered a full scholarship to the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, the nomination of the Republican Party as its candidate for president of the United States, and full oversight of the Keystone XL pipeline, which has been repurposed to deliver a steady stream of Feline Greenies Ocean Fish Flavor Dental Treats to an undisclosed location.

Then he knocked a bowl off the counter and blamed it on the media.


Tags: ,

14 Responses to “Victory”

  1. Charley Auer Says:

    Works for me!

  2. Pat O'Brien Says:

    If I was there, I would assume that Turk wanted me to turn on the cold water.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Being in charge is thirsty work, Pat. Himself particularly likes sprawling between the two sinks in the master bath. Maybe one faucet serves up chocolate and the other vanilla?

      • Pat O'Brien Says:

        If you could get the kitchen faucets to serve up Breckenridge Vanilla Porter and Young’s Double Chocolate Stout we would have something. Sandy and I would finagle a dinner invite and stay way too late.

  3. Larry T. Says:

    Ben “The Blade” Carson’s showing he’s got no idea what he’s doing with the claims of unprecedented scrutiny from the media. His SuperPac’s going to start wondering what they paid for as this guy gives brain-surgeons a bad rap. I’m no longer bothering with any of these so-called debates. I can get all the entertainment value the following day without feeling like I need to throw a shoe at TV or computer screen.

  4. Libby Says:

    FM Turkish has more on the ball than all of the Repug candidates put together.

  5. psobrien Says:

    No debates going on. Just party window dressing bullshit. No substance on the issues in any of them. Depressing it what it is.

    But this is news. Sierra Vista’s high school (Buena Colts) mountain bike team took the state championship after the last race on Sunday. And Nash Dory won the race on Sunday and took the boy’s varsity state championship title. Arizona has 40 schools fielding mountain bike teams this year with boys and girls riding.

  6. Herb in NH Says:

    Patrick: A hint of a glimmer of a possibility here on the Right Coast – Boston College High School (Jesuits, don’cha know) has been fielding a cross team for two seasons now. I would guess their football program is in no danger just yet, but the kids I talked with seemed really psyched to be doing it.

  7. Jon Paulos Says:

    1. Turk for President!

    2. Regarding Ben Carson and his startling opinions on things like the purpose of the Pyramids, one need only look to Plato’s Apology to understand what is going on.

    In explaining how he got in his pickle with the charges, Socrates explains that he went around to people who were experts in their field and asked them about things in which they weren’t experts. Things where they knew no more than the average Joe. Most if not all voiced their opinions as fact, essentially assuming that their expertise in one field made them experts in all fields. And, as you might guess, they took it amiss when Socrates rubbed their noses in their ignorance.

    This goes right to the current day. Ben Carson spouts nonsense and his advisers blame the media for rubbing his nose in it.

    I knew that classics degree would come in handy one day….

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