From Muscatine to muscatel

It's morning in America.

It’s morning in America.

It seems Iowa Republicans would rather be poisoned than shot.

As for their Democratic counterparts, they split right down the middle between Billary of Wall Street and Groucho Sanders, The Last Marx Brother. Kindly Father Martin O’Malley won the third stool from the door at the Red Rooster Grill in Iowa Falls and decided to call it a campaign.

The editorial board at The New York Times appears to be about two martinis away from jumping out a window over the GOP clusterfuck. As for the Donks, the board opines that the contest has become one between head and heart. Guess which candidate is which body part. There will be a prize.

“With a few of the weakest candidates starting to drop out, weary voters can only hope that the campaign will further clarify itself and become more substantive in coming weeks as it moves to New Hampshire and beyond,” mutters The Times.

Ah, yes, that ol’ hopey-changey thing. Hope in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up fastest.


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36 Responses to “From Muscatine to muscatel”

  1. Jeff Cozad Says:

    It was Hillary 114 to 114 for Bernie in my precinct. It was a coin flip for the 5th delegate, which Bernie won. I hear that there were a number of precincts that had that happen.

    Now if the weather cooperates, they can all fly off to New Hampshire and leave us alone for a while.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      “Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!” Now if someone can just mop up after the elephants. …

      John Nichols at The Nation has a good wrapup. He seems to hint at one point that the party machinery may have had its thumb on the scales. Charles P. Pierce thinks management has long been in the tank for Billary, of course, and no surprises there.

      David Corn at Mother Jones, meanwhile, says both Cruz and Sanders appeal “to an ideological bloc that pines for a champion,” albeit in surprising strength in what he’s calling “the season of disruption.”

      The Trumpeteers, he seems to argue, were mostly the sort of folks who’d rather yell at their TVs than, y’know, actually do stuff, an’ stuff. Not a fan. Not a fan of those people.

    • Pat O'Brien Says:

      A coin flip? Now that gives me confidence. I think I will wait for a real primary in NH before sending Bernie a few more bucks.

      • Jeff Cozad Says:

        Yeah…. Coin flip for the remaining delegate when it’s tied. It’s what is in the rules.

      • psobrien Says:

        No disrespect intended Jeff. They reported on the coin flip rule on NPR this morning. And thank you for participating!

      • Jeff Cozad Says:

        None taken… It’s always interesting.

        In 2008, I was in the Biden camp and we were a few folks short of viable. The Obama folks sent us enough so we wouldn’t of folded and possibly sent to Hillary. My daughter was at her first caucus with me. You should of seen her head spin at that little bit on maneuvering.

      • Steve O Says:

        Coin flip? What ever happened to good old fashioned arm wrestling? Or, better, settle it the Burr-Hamilton way.

      • JD Dallager Says:

        Coin flip? Huh…..sounds a lot like a recent NFL playoff overtime game! Did this Iowa coin rotate or did they have to flip it again? 🙂

      • Jeff Cozad Says:

        I’d have preferred a good old pie fight.

        Coin Rotation – It did! There were a number of folks shooting video. It might even be on YouTube. *lol*

  2. Bart Says:

    2/3 for Bernie in SE Iowa City last night, clear age difference in support with the older to Billary. Seems McCarthyism is building up loud and strong in the US for Cruz…

    • Jeff Cozad Says:

      Yeah…. That was pretty much my read where I was on the demographic split. The Bernie folks were mostly young and then there were bearded old hippies. 🙂

    • Steve O Says:

      What’s crazy is, at this point, we’re talking 28% of 15% of 1%. And that passes as some sort of win. Absolutely bizarre system we have.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      In our precinct back in Bibleburg in 2008 there was a big age divide too, with the older blue-collar types going for the Hilldebeast and the young smarty-pants college sorts picking Obummer.

  3. khal spencer Says:

    The Elefinks remain a clown bus. Maybe after Super Tuesday it will be back to a clown car. I think it is clear that the Donk party apparatus is behind Billary.

    So for Donks, its a race between an idealogue who wants to sweep the moneychangers out of the temple but probably has no chance of getting it done vs. a party centrist who talks the talk about women and minorities but has no interest in digging down to the root of the problems we face, i.e., a lack of a real economy for most of the public coupled with staggering and increasing income inequality.

    Either way, its better than what the GOP offers. My spin would be for a Sanders-Clinton or Clinton-Sanders ticket, if they could kiss and make up when the shit is finished hitting the fan. My worry is that being typical Donks, a lot of Bernie’s supporters might sit out the election if Billary wins and vice versa. That would be a very bad idea. Better to hold yer nose and vote than have President Cruz.

    • psobrien Says:

      Word. Turnout will make the difference. Congress is the real issue. We need to flush that toilet.

    • larryatcycleitalia Says:

      I can’t see Billary/Sanders as a ticket for the Doncs. I have no doubt the Donc establishment will somehow show Bernie the door long before their convention. On the other side, since everyone hates Cruz I can’t see him getting the nod from the establishment Elefinks, so Rubio’s my likely choice there. I think he’s a real threat to Billary – a nice-looking guy who speaks well, making you start to think the recycled neocon crap that comes out of his mouth makes sense in some way. My dream matchup is still Sanders vs Trump, the only way Bernie could win but I fear it’ll be Billary vs Rubio which could be a tossup come November. Now we need a bunch of clowns to exit the Rethug clown car for good. Santorum, Huckabee, Fiorina, Bush, Carson, Paul, Kasich, Christy…can you read this?

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Lacking any base, Huck has already hung up his bass. Look for him to appear as an “analyst” on Faux News any day now.

      • khal spencer Says:

        If the Inner Party Donks undercut Sanders to the point it is obvious to the Outer Party and proles, I see a lot of Donks sitting out November, which means the next SCOTUS appointments will be Genghis Khan and Atilla the Hun. Count on a dismantling of Obamacare and a national requirement to pack heat.

        We saw the results of insider electioneering in New Mexico at the last governor race. The party apparatchiks pushed through Gary King, who was about as inspiring a candidate as corn growing in Kansas. It was a landslide for Gov. Martinez and she took the State House of Reps. and Public Lands Commissioner with her for the GOP. We lost a really good lands commissioner in Ray Powell for the GOP’s “Drill Baby, Drill” Aubrey Dunn. F*ck^ng up a major race can have disastrous consequences right down the line.

        That was before O’G moved here so not sure he caught that nuance.

      • khal spencer Says:

        Actually, I got part of that bass-ackwards. King won because he was the only candidate with name recognition in the primary (he was the state AG and his old man Bruce King was a three term governor). But the Donks could have done a lot more to build up the other candidates, who fell flat as “who are these masked men”. They all went after Martinez rather than challenging each other.

        Outcome was bad though.

      • psobrien Says:

        Huckleberry is a piece of work. Preacher and politician is a combination that scares the shit out of me. And he likes to be in the spotlight. I’m sitting here with the flu and a bad attitude.

    • Jeff Cozad Says:

      Yeah Khal – I certainly hope they don’t sit out. I’m seriously concerned about who is going to appoint the next few Supremes.

    • Steve O Says:

      I don’t think sanders has any real interest in being veep. Standing on the sidelines shouting at clouds beats the bucket of warm spit. Unless it’s just the paunch and the pouch and the pension he’s after.

    • Steve O Says:

      // I think it is clear that the Donk party apparatus is behind Billary. //

      Saw a bumper sticker:
      Hillary 2016
      It’s my turn!

      Not sure if it was sarcastic or not.

    • Steve O Says:

      // The Elefinks remain a clown bus. //

      I think trump heard that and took it literally. Only explanation for the orange toupee and raccoon eye make-up.

  4. Steve O Says:

    I’m voting for Larry David playing Bernie Sanders. Über-hilarious.

  5. Steve O Says:

    Watching the votes being tallied, I could not believe this was America. I really expected Jimmy Carter to show up in announce that he could not certify this election.

    Voters writing down their selection on Post-it notes, dropping them into a clear Tupperware, where a guy in a Chris Christie T-shirt was rummaging around and dividing them into rough piles. What could go wrong? No chance of a miss-count there.

    And don’t even get me started on delegate-equivalent tallies instead of actual votes.

    Best democracy money can buy?

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      It’s a very strange setup we have, to be sure. Remember when Fidel offered to send election observers to Florida? Funniest commie ever. Good times.

      • Steve O Says:

        An old college buddy was the Florida superintendent of elections during the Bush-Gore debacle. Interestingly, pre-Twitter, he was keeping us posted on the shenanigans via email list-server for the first 48 hours or so, then the dude disappeared of the face of the earth. Good guy, low level operative with political aspirations, but made the scapegoat internally to take the heat off the governor and Sec State.

        I was an out of state (military) voter at the time. My ballot had all kinds of typos, printing registration problems, etc. Found out later Florida had never counted absentee ballots.

        Biggest problem was lots of counties used some sort of spiral-bound booklet. And the names were on one side, box to check on the other. Printer didn’t take into account that pages shift ever so slightly on the spiral wire, so the boxes were directly in line with the names. pretty sure that’s how Buchanan won whatever county it was that he took.

        Again, best democracy money can buy.

  6. khal spencer Says:

    The way the Donks counted votes is bizzare.

  7. bromasi Says:

    love the comments.

  8. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Now for the body part contest. Trump is a dick, Cruz is an asshole, Rubio is a heel, Hillary is a ass, and Sanders is a brain. What did I win?

  9. HP Says:

    What Hogwarts house would each of the main characters reside? Cruz would be in Slitherin, because he is reptilian, but what about the rest?

  10. Pat O'Brien Says:

    And now Santorum has dropped out. A chickenhawk bites the dust. What a loss.

  11. David Rees Says:

    “And have I mentioned what a dick Rick Santorum is?” C.Pierce

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