Sinko de Turko

¿Tengo sed? Claro que si! Haz que llueva, pendejo.

Come the dawn, after a long night’s duty, Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment) likes to refresh himself with a drink from the sink, holiday or no holiday.

And speaking of no holiday, at least one learned sort thinks Cinco de Mayo may be one of them there — created largely to sell beverages, and plenty of them too.

“It’d be like if the Fourth of July were reduced to beer and hot dogs,” said UCLA prof David Hayes-Bautista.

Dude. How long you been on this side of The Wall, ese? I bet you can’t find three gabachos off campus who think the Fourth is about anything else.


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16 Responses to “Sinko de Turko”

  1. Esteban O’ Says:

    Erin go Bud, Cinco de Miller. Barbara Bush hated Mother’s Day. After the damn Protestant ruined my Saturnalia, I figured they were all lost causes.

  2. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Corona, the worst. A popular joke in Sonora is that they export Corona because no one there will drink it.

    Modela Negra is OK. What’s my favorite Mexican lager? Pacifico, por favor.

    Hot dogs? He was eating shit in this pic. Losers.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I never much liked the dark Mexican beers, except for cooking with. My faves were Bohemia, Pacifico, Tecate and Carta Blanca, in that order.

      These were all for the washing down of combo plates, shots of tequila, and/or jackknife bumps of the devil’s dandruff; hydration in hot weather; or (when mixed with Snap-E-Tom), the curing of crudos from the behavior described previously.

      • Pat O'Brien Says:

        Beer and Snap-E-Tom? Unholy is what. What’s next? Salt? Raw egg? Or the worst, Clamato.

        I guess I didn’t party enough. What is devil’s dandruff?

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        We just called ’em “red beers.” The Snap-E-Tom was for nutritional content and magical healing powers, usually aided and abetted by huevos rancheros, heavy on the green chile, please, oh God, I’ll never drink again, except for this one, and the one you bring me right after that one.

        The devil’s dandruff was nose whiskey, the dumb dust, Peruvian Marching Powder, to wit, cocaine. Perhaps the most ridiculous drug in the world. How we got there from ditch weed and psychedelics remains a mystery to me, as do many other facets of the early Eighties.

        • khal spencer Says:

          Early eighties found me in grad school, where the drug of choice among geology types was beer. Oh, and an occasional foray into Maui Wowie. Not getting into nasal corrosives was probably one of the few things I did right.

        • Patrick O'Grady Says:

          What an absurd drug. Talk about paying through the nose.

          LSDizzy probably provided the most bang for the buck. A cheap date, but you never really knew when (or if) it was gonna take you home. You just sort of had to grab it by the ears and hang on.

          Mescaline was lots of fun and easier to keep a grip on. God might talk to you, but She wouldn’t yell at you.

          ’Shrooms may have been the best way to go, if you wanted to go at all. No telltale aroma, a comparatively short high, and a total body drug, a laugher. That shit could turn a school-board meeting into a Marx Brothers movie.

        • Pat O'Brien Says:

          Quick change up here with your permission. Are you still a geographical bachelor? I got a ride in Friday, first in two weeks. Twelve easy does it, high cadence miles without problems. I am going to try 20 in the morning. I guess I healed up one more time.

          • JD Dallager Says:

            Good on ya, Pat. Remember the old advice of never increasing your mileage more than 10% IN A WEEK! Stay healthy, mi amigo!

          • Herb from Michigan Says:

            What a great blog. Swings from Mexican beer to mind altering drugs to cycling in short order. All of which of course are tied into pleasure inducement receptacles we all have in common. Ya just gotta know which plug to use and when. Joined the Me Too movement as in I also got in my first rides now that the Michigan Switch flipped from winter to summer. Spring as a season is virtually unknown around these parts in recent years. Cautiously optimistic I can keep you guys within a mile or two in sight come June. That’s if the ride is still on?Broke down and had a tall stem riser put on my drop bar bike. At the same time, cause some sumbitch stole some of my inseam measurement when I wasn’t looking these past few years, I lowered the seat post. While it truly looks now like a clown bike, by God I am pretty comfy.

          • Pat O'Brien Says:

            No worries Herb. People are amazed how many spacers there are between the headset and stem of the bike I’m bringing. That, are you could use the cassette as a meat platter at a Viking feast. When Patrick and I rode the Paseo del Bosque path last year, he quickly figured out a comfortable pace for me and kept it there. I think he can go faster, much faster, but he didn’t.
            Spring was always short in SE Arizona, but it also disappeared a few years ago.
            By the way, I’m staying at the Courtyard Marriott right off I-25 and Paseo del Norte. Patrick checked it out for me, and he said it would be convenient location for the rides.


          • Herb from Michigan Says:

            POB is that Courtyard the one on Journal Blvd? There are two Courtyards and leave it to Herb to book the wrong one.

          • Pat O'Brien Says:

            Yep, it is the one on Journal Blvd.

        • Patrick O'Grady Says:

          Management will be restored by this evening. That sound you hear from the northeast is two cats and several neighbors sighing in relief.

          Good to hear you’ve bounced back yet again. I’ve been going short this week, just ’cause I can. I really like riding trail weekdays before school lets out for the summer and 90 minutes of that seems like enough fun for one day.

  3. Patrick O'Grady Says:

    Herb, nobody, but nobody, will ever top the stem on my Voodoo Nakisi. I mean, nobody.

    The flagpole I use for a stem on the Voodoo Nakisi

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