Another bite of the Apple

The iPhone 5. Sure, it’s old. So am I.

It’s that time of year again. Another golden delicious has fallen from the tree in Cupertino. Several of them, actually.

There’s the latest iteration of the Apple Watch, of course. Apple is always Watching lately. I have a Timex Ironman that’s so old I don’t recall exactly how or when I acquired it, and we get along fine. It doesn’t inform on me to the State or the Medical-Industrial Complex, and I don’t reset it with a hammer.

The Timex Ironman takes a licking and … yeah, yeah, awright, OK, I toldja I was old.

And then there are the new iPhones. Once the size of a wallet, they’re now as big as a purse, and the rubes will empty both to buy even the cheapest of them.

That would be the iPhone Xr, which goes for the low low price of $749 for the 64GB model. I imagine the 128GB model will be more popular, so tack on another fiddy for the additional selfie storage.

OK, lessee now, what can I get for my 2012 iPhone 5?

Apple GiveBack chirps: “Based on what you’ve told us, you’ve got $25 in trade-in value. We’ll happily turn it into a refund once we verify the condition of your device.” This is mildly insulting — not just the low-ball offer, but the language, which implies I’m trying to screw Apple instead of the other way around. But as a trillion-dollar company Apple doesn’t really need me and this dry peck on the cheek is all the foreplay a mutt like me is gonna get.

Hmm. Based on what I’ve told them, I have an iPhone 5 that turns on, with an enclosure and screen in good shape, and buttons that work. So I think I’ll keep using it until a critical number of those things are no longer true. How d’ye like them apples, Apple?

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15 Responses to “Another bite of the Apple”

  1. JD Dallager Says:

    iPhone 5? Wow, you’re one model more current than my “still-working fine” iPhone 4, PO’G! 🙂

    Looking back on the iPhone evolution, it seems to me that early on we paid more each iteration for a smaller phone…..then about 4-5 years ago we got to pay more for a larger phone. Something to do with ergonomics and social engineering?

    Then again, are there some parallel themes in the cycling industry too? Lighter, faster, stronger, more capable, electronic vs. mechanical, etc.

    Oh yeah, my 8-year-old Casio G-Shock Illuminator is “still working fine” too. Had to put a new battery in it a few years back though! 🙂

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      JD, Herself traded in a 4s for a 7 not long ago. But I like the smaller size of the 5, and probably should have sprung for an SE before Apple croaked it.

      Bigger is better, it seems. The MacBook Air 11-incher is no longer with us, either. The idea, as I understand it, is that Apple (which is expanding further into entertainment) expects more people to be using its phones for everything from working to playing games to listening to music to watching TV and movies, and thus the easily pocketed model is so 15 minutes ago.

      Also, as Bloomberg notes, to move into new markets where the suckers may only be able to afford one device, the giant phone will probably be the one they choose.

      One Device to Rule Them All!

  2. khal spencer Says:

    My 5s, or whatever it is called, works just fine. And the one grand would go a long way towards something besides a new phone that I don’t need. Like something else I don’t need.

  3. larryatcycleitalia Says:

    I have a refurbished ASUS Zenphone that cost $150 and is much smarter than I am. People always ask, “Oooh, is that the new IPhone?” when they see it. Probably sends my data to crooks in China but who is to say that I-crap doesn’t do the same? Thought it was interesting when I read about the new I-watch with a “I fell down and can’t get up” feature – I guess they know their demographic?
    I tell the time via a Timex Expedition I bought at a drugstore a decade ago for $20.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      There are individual bits about all the latest ee-lectronical whizbangs, gewgaws and comosellamas that I like. But I don’t want them all in one package.

      Case in point: It would be nice to have a GPS watch so I could tell how far I’m running on the neighborhood trails. Vertical gain would be useful information, and a heart-rate function might be nice, too, but I notice I have a couple elderly Polar HR monitors gathering dust atop an office bookcase.

      But the GPS watches I’ve looked at just have too many bells and whistles attached. I don’t want apps and prompts, sleep tracking or training plans. And these things cost a shit-ton, too.

      So every now and then if I get curious about the actual distance on a given route, I ride it on a bike to get the deets from a Cateye Velo 8. Extra-credit exercise! Booyah.

      • khal spencer Says:

        Vertical gain is nice, but I can find that if I go home and pull out Google maps. I can guess percent slope looking at my pulse rate (on an old Bike Nashbar heart rate monitor) and gear choice. My phone needs are met by something that rings, and and not by playing Rolling Stones clips or sounds of armpit farts. I do like the camera features and that I can send home pictures of my bicycle on trails for yet another worthless blog post.

        Since the 5s has a phone, camera, email and Twitter, it is already more of a hindrance than a help because I get into that stupidity of feeling compelled to check both mail and Twitter all too often. I suspect with more whizbang features, its just a stronger bit of electronic addiction, which is what they really want. Pass the soma, please, Mr. Huxley…

        At some point I will realize that the Ar I can buy for less than the cost of an Xr can be used to shoot the phone and leave me in peace.

        O wonder!
        How many goodly features are there here!
        How beauteous Cupertino is! O brave new phone,
        That has such technology in’t.

        With apologies to Shakespeare and Huxley…

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Ah, see, mail and Twitter. Those are right out. If I want bad news I’ll make it up myself.

        Well, I will check mail if forced to — say, if I’m far from a MacBook on some work-related road trip, which doesn’t happen much anymore. Even then I usually have an iPad or MacBook in the old messenger bag.

        Also, I’ll peek at the NYT and WaPo apps if I’m parked somewhere waiting on an appointment, just to keep my Outrage-O-Meter in the red zone.

        And Herself and I use Messages pretty frequently. So do a few colleagues.

        Basically I use about 10 percent of the iPhone’s capacity. It’s like owning a Unimog to drive to the mailbox.

        • larryatcycleitalia Says:

          Almost never activate the WIFI connection on my smarty-pants phone unless I need help with something – otherwise I want to be left alone!

      • psobrien Says:

        My old ass is all over a burner flip phone, and I am thinking of ditching the bike computers all together. My tandem riding friends, the distaff side, just got a whiz bang smart watch and the phone app that goes with it. All kinds of charts and graphs available. I asked, how far did it say we went? Luddite.

        • psobrien Says:

          PS: Concerning messages, I was laying on the floor trying to get my pelvis back in line when I heard a couple of loud dings. Took me awhile to figure out it was messages coming in on the iPad that was on the table. First time I ever heard it. This shit is getting too complicated.

  4. SteveP Says:

    Yup – former FanBoy here, but… what’s in it for me? Apple gave up on desktops – the type that you can edit photos on – years ago. From once owning that market, they were distracted by other bright shiny things and now – AFAIK – make no desktops anyone wants – nor laptops anyone can afford.

    The watches are a conceit. I go into Apple store and no one is ever near the “watch” displays. I know around 10 people with an Apple Watch and nine of them got it as a gift.

    “What’s it good for?”

    “Dunno”

    I think the phones make good cameras and bring that on. I might upgrade from my 7+, or maybe not.

    Show me the pixels

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      They really intercoursed the penguin when they turned the Mac Pro into a nail-salon trash can. I should’ve bought one of the cheese-grater Mac Pros Back in the Day™, but even then, when I was doing a shit-ton of pro work, I couldn’t swing the expense.

      Instead I bought a used G4 Power Mac from Bicycle Retailer and Industry News when they made the leap to Intel Macs. Got it for the cost of shipping it to Colorado, spent considerably more upgrading it, and whaddaya know? It’s still here, doing a job of work.

      The new stuff is all fashion, intended to keep us within the Apple “ecosystem.” It’s all I know, barring a short experiment with Linux, so I stay in the cage. I should have enough elderly machinery on hand to get me safely to my own end-of-life.

      Unless Apple comes out with a New Me™. Just shift the old gray matter into the New Me™’s brain-box and hey presto! Blog without end, amen. I’ll be pretty, too. But New Me™ will be compatible with Apple gear only. And holy hell, will it cost.

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