It was one of those days. First we saw the hare; then we saw the tortoise. They weren’t racing, though.
Herself noticed this armored gent during our ride through High Desert this morning, and I inquired whether he knew Mitch McConnell.
“That asshole,” he replied. “Fuck that guy. He’s a snake on his mother’s side, you know. Gives us all a bad name.”
Tags: An actual turtle, The Turtle
Mad Blog Media 
June 1, 2019 at 2:32 pm |
Great title for this post!
Did the tortoise change his mind, or did someone put it up there? If you pick them up, they will pee on you.
June 1, 2019 at 3:01 pm |
He was already up there on the curb. I think maybe he eyeballed the drop to the street and said to hell with it, I got everything I need right here.
June 1, 2019 at 2:44 pm |
Someday I’ll get hit by a vehicle while stopped to remove turtles from harms way. Even the big ass snappers the size of Chris Christie’s dinner plate. Gotta let them clamp onto a stout stick if available since I’m not skilled at picking snapping turtles up. I get real sad when I see a smashed turtle on the road. Raccoons, possums and woodchuck not so much.
June 1, 2019 at 3:03 pm |
Tim Johnson, bike racer turned commentator, is forever rescuing our armored brethren and sisthren. If you’re on Twitter you should search him out. He posts pix, too.
I remember seeing a snapper the size of a VW Beetle at Green Lake in Canada when I was a sprout. Nobody even tried to pick that dude up. It took about four grown men to herd it away from camp before it ate a dog or a child or two.
June 1, 2019 at 6:23 pm |
Snapping turtles have a neck like a snake and jaws like a vise. They can reach further back than you think and nail you. Snap. Shit!
June 1, 2019 at 11:13 pm |
June 2, 2019 at 10:29 am |
Mitch McConnell is at the top of the list of a-hole/hypocrites in the world. I keep wondering how his collection of swastikas (or is it child-porn or maybe KKK memorabilia.. or all of them?) stays hidden year after year. Someone really needs to out this guy…and then move on to Lindsey Graham.
June 2, 2019 at 12:27 pm |
Not a terrapin, but a snake nonetheless, add Paul Ryan to that auspicious list. My former rep retired right before he crashed. Asshole had the chance to stop the Trump train before it left the station, but chose party over patriotism. He will go down as one of the biggest A1 Trump enablers in history.
June 2, 2019 at 6:47 pm |
All the congressional republicans are trump enablers. McSally, our so called independent strong representative, called on the dumpster to help her win a senate seat in AZ. She lost. But, the gov stuck her in McCain’s empty chair. Tomato tariff to satisfy the Florida growers who hire illegals to pick their crop, now the threatened tariff on all Mexican imports, and not a peep out of her. Fire them all, and put the dumpster in the slammer for tax evasion and money laundering. Even better would be to deport his ass to Saudi Arabia. He seems to like it over there.
June 3, 2019 at 5:27 am |
Nah, I’d like him in an orange jumpsuit without a hair stylist or anyone to spray the orange tint on him. Maybe a cell next to Cohen? Though there are probably no cells or orange jumpsuits where the likes of him might end up. Same for Roger Stone…these rich f–kers get the swanky digs even in prison.
Now Don the Con’s in the UK making me ever more embarrassed to be holding a US passport.