Don’t take it for granite, Joe

Frosty the Snow Toad awaits news from New Hampshire.

O, ’tis a frosty auld morning out there, cold enough to freeze the stones off a three-peckered snow toad.

I haven’t checked the forecast for New Hampshire, where ’tis rumored that the Granite State may lay a nice stone over the grave of Daffy Uncle Joe’s presidential ambitions, the third time being less than a charm, it seems.

I’ll always have a soft spot for Joe, if only for the way he hee-hawed Lyin’ Paul Ryan and his zombie-eyed, granny-starvin’ bullshit right off the debate stage in the 2012 pestilential campaign.

But he’s not the man for the job this time. He has the affect of a fella who feels obliged by circumstances and the voices in his head to apply for a job that he really doesn’t want.

If Daffy Uncle Joe were the nominee, I’d vote for him, of course. I’d vote for Frosty the Snow Toad if he were running against Puffy the MAGA Dragon.

But I’d feel like a fella obliged by circumstances and the voices in his head to do a job that he really doesn’t want to do.

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21 Responses to “Don’t take it for granite, Joe”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    Uncle Joe doesn’t look to steady up there. But I’m not too impressed with the whole clown car of Dems. Seems the more rational ones are boring to the base and get kicked to the curb at the first opportunity. Pete looks like Mr. Plastic Fantastic Candidate although he is pretty sharp. I voted for Grandpa Bernie last time but he reminds me of the Statler and Waldorf act this time. Then there is the one with a plan for everything and the one who reminds me of one of my matronly aunts.

    Meanwhile, yet another Neew York billionaire is lurking in the wings. I think if he hijacks the Dem nomination a lot of leftwing Donks will stay home. Who wants Mr. Billionaire Stop ‘N Frisk as the standard bearer?

    I’ll vote for whatever candidate survives the Primary Comedy Hour. Like you said…

    • SAO' Says:

      Bad time for politics, but a good time for political commentary.

      Mayor Pete’s rhetorical style is “Marrianne Williamson with a pocket-protector.”

      About Susan Collins: workers who are “always troubled or concerned should consider a different line of work”

      Trump fired Vindman and his twin brother because he was afraid they’d pull a Parent Trap switch on him.

      Bloomberg is a “doomsday money-bomb.”

      So, yeah, good chuckles these days … unfortunately, the joke ultimately is on us

    • SAO' Says:

      Can we vote for a ticket of Larry David and Stephen Colbert, both doing Bernie impersonations?

      I’m not a gambler, and I have no idea how those prop bets work, but you know that somewhere someone is taking bets on Hillary throwing her hat in if there’s a brokered convention.

  2. khal spencer Says:

    What’s going on, O’G? Is Mayor Keller exporting your thugs up this way?

  3. Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

    Ol’ Joe’s way past his sell-by date. His old pal Obama won’t even endorse him! If I could fill the office myself I’d put Elizabeth Warren in the Oval Office with Mayor Pete as veep but I’ll vote for the lesser of the two evils no matter who the Donks choose…the worst of ’em can’t help but be loads better than the Toddler-in-Chief!

    • SAO' Says:

      Joe has always been smarter than he seems but never as smart as he thinks he is. Which fine … you need a bit of self-delusion to be successful in politics. But I don’t get how Dr Jill hasn’t set him straight when he really needed an honest broker.

      This lying dog-faced pony soldier thing has got to be the last straw unless we truly live in a bizarro world version of what America used to be.

  4. SAO' Says:

    I don’t know what to think of that Politico piece about how everyone looks at poll numbers from the wrong vantage point. One the one hand, it dovetails right off that 15 year old Atlantic article about who actually makes up both parties. The Rethugs have the strategic advantage of not really giving a shit who they nominate, as long as it irritates the Dems. And the Dems are riding uphill into the wind because, for one, a GOP vote is worth 1.05 votes and a Dem vote is worth 0.95 of one, and for two, they have to cobble together the most tenuous of coalitions each and every time.

    But it has always bugged me that the stats guys have historically made no effort to conduct longitudinal studies of any sort to confirm their suspicions about the electorate. They look at X% of left hand male union workers who drive 4-door pickups voting for Y this year and Z last time around, and assume they are the same guys, even though they know for a fact that we get 55% turnout in Prez years and 45% in off-years. No one is saying that everyone only votes once every 8 years, but there’s obviously some wiggle room in there to support the idea that there is no such thing as a swing voter.

  5. SAO' Says:

    This is your democracy.

  6. David Rees Says:

    I hope to god I’m wrong, but it doesn’t matter who runs against this ambulatory colostomy bag in November. He will win and win bigly this time – it will not be close. He sewed it up with the State of the Union address last week.

    • khal spencer Says:

      According to the talking heads, Bag ‘O Shit won last time because a few tens of thousands of Donks in each of several critical states stayed home. My guess is SAO hits the reason he might win again: Donks more resemble the People’s Liberation Front skit of a bunch of bickering sub-organizations than a unified party. Regardless of who wins the nomination, someone else’s supporters will go into a kitty snit and stay home. Meanwhile, the GOP will turn out for the Orange Fuehrer.

      • SAO’ Says:

        If Dr. Rachel is right, then it’s interesting how bad a pick Senator Tim Kaine was. They were totally chasing nonexistent voters. And if she picked, say, Cory Booker, then she wins by 5-7 million votes.

    • SAO’ Says:

      Here’s the “no swing voter” theory again:

    • Pat O'Brien Says:

      About 180,000 voters in key swing states and districts, expertly targeted by the dumpster’s minions for social media propaganda, along with the NRA and evangelicals, put the dumpster in the white house. If the dems don’t unite behind the leading candidate after South Carolina, then they will have too little too late and will lose in 2020. And, I think the VP selection is critical. If Bernie leads, then pick Pete. If Pete is leading, pick Amy or Kamala. Then use the same tactics, and Bloomberg money (he has pledged to keep the money flowing to the dem candidate) to outspend and micro-target the same gullible voters on anti-social media that the dumpster will surely go after. Just my two cents, and it may already be too late.

  7. mike w. Says:

    i personally believe that Mr. Biden would make a damn fine Senator again.

    Bernie as well. They could do more good there.

  8. John A Levy Says:

    Uncle Joe should be a senior advisor, no pun intended. My guess is that the front running clowns can’t beat the red headed piece of dog doo. My guess would be the lady from the mines of Minnesota. She could kick his ass physically and mentally. Got more sense that the other multitude combined. They have some ideas but can’t sell why their ideas can work here and now. remember we have the attention span of two year old children and the medias attention span is that of a fruit fly. We are well and truly hosed. just a frickin mess.

    • khal spencer Says:

      Agree for the most part. Winning the primary is not the same as winning the election, as George McGovern learned. Amy is not gonna fire up the Progressive base like Liz or Bernie, but it will be harder for Orange Fuehrer to paint her as a wild eyed Commie. I think Bitecofer’s analysis rings true too, that Trump has lit a fire under everyone who can’t stand him. Agree Amy could kick his ass in a debate. Coming from Minnesota helps, as its a Midwest but moderate state. Not having a plan for everything appeals to me, too, since I tend to agree with Mike Tyson’s old adage about everyone with a plan.

      Put Joe in as a senior advisor and figure out who would be a good VEEP.

      But what do I know, except I knew down deep that Hillary was going to lose.

      • SAO' Says:

        My favorite stat from 2016: Hillary was the first Dem since they started tracking this kind of thing to win college educated white men. Remember when Trump yelled, “We love the uneducated!” Yep, he sure does, and they love him back.

  9. psobrien Says:

    Word Patrick. And if I may throw out another bummer on a cold, wet, and dreary day in the high desert, the band upstairs got another great member.

  10. khal spencer Says:

    Something here from David French regarding the difference between Bernie and Amy.

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