He’s not just a Good Old One. He’s a Great Old One.
We’re getting down to nut-cuttin’ time, folks. I say go big or go home.
Asked whether her candidate would be suspending his campaign and endorsing Daffy Uncle Joe, spokescreature Shub-Niggurath replied, “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn! No further questions.”
Tags: Cthulhu 2020
Mad Blog Media 
March 2, 2020 at 2:06 pm |
Looks like a lot of washboard to ride on between now and November.
March 2, 2020 at 2:36 pm |
Especially if it looks like Comrade Eeyore is the man going into the convention and the smoke-filled room takes it away from him. The Bernie Bros are not known for going quietly into that good night.
March 2, 2020 at 3:03 pm |
I’m so disgusted with the occupants of the Democratic clown car I see no reason to show up for the Super Tuesday vote, unless I decide to write in Cthulhu. I would, of course, vote for a goddam ham sandwich before Fat Donny Tinyhands, the Sopranos extra from hell.
Candidates who are even older than *I* am are not exactly a great idea. Not that there’s a supply of great ideas these days; now Diogenes would have to add one to his quest.
March 2, 2020 at 4:02 pm |
My worry is that it is coming down to Statler vs. Waldorf vs. Our Billionaire, unless Liz can pull out of the power dive and make it a four way matchup.
I see Dems on Twitter taking cheap shots at each other, to wit, moderates calling leftists father rapers and leftists calling moderates mother stabbers. I’m with Bil on disgust, but as he said, its a matter of getting shit for brains out of the White House.
March 2, 2020 at 7:36 pm |
That’s it Khal, you are going to the “Group W” bench.
March 3, 2020 at 8:24 am |
The Dems are doing their best to eat their own.
If *your* candidate is a 10, and Trump is Zero, then at worst, the rest of the Dem field are a bunch of 7s. But the Bernie Bros hate Warren, practically every hated Pete, Mike is somehow 50 times worse than Trump because he has 50 times the money.
I wished for a candidate who wasn’t a 75 year old white guy, and they offered me a 75 year old white woman and a teenager from South Bend.
But I’m biting my lip and holding my nose. Can’t let perfect be the enemy of replacing a steaming pile of horseshit, to paraphrase a popular business self-help book.
March 2, 2020 at 7:32 pm |
The only way to get a smooth ride on washboard is to haul ass. Go fast or get beat up. Pick a VP for christ’s sake and haul ass. The orange moron has been campaigning for over 3 years. Get your ass in gear, go low, and start pinging the tangerine asshole on social media and TV. Make sure he sees shit about him, and lots of it, every time he looks at his phone or turns on Fox. Talk some trash and make him mad; he will get more stupid than he already is and blow the debates.
March 2, 2020 at 9:32 pm |
I learned that in the backroads of central Minnesota when doing my dissertation. Take the washboard at sixty mph or you get pounded to shit.
March 2, 2020 at 2:57 pm |
Jeezus, leave to the Dems to break a steel ball. I have no real complaint about most of the Dems candidates, but any would be better than what we have now. Maybe we should pray for a few senate seats.
March 2, 2020 at 3:07 pm |
Or a targeted (OK, maybe, maybe not) coronavirus epidemic in Foggy Bottom.
March 2, 2020 at 4:03 pm |
My party couldn’t properly manage a two car funeral procession.
March 2, 2020 at 5:09 pm |
Well … there’s always this guy.
March 2, 2020 at 5:54 pm |
Priceless.
March 2, 2020 at 7:38 pm |
He must be blowin’ some low frequencies.
March 3, 2020 at 6:42 am
Yep. Those frequencies are classified. Trump Admin. is putting some ULF antenna arrays on the Upper Peninsula to track and declare them
March 2, 2020 at 5:18 pm |
In related news, The Nation just endorsed Comrade Eeyore.
March 3, 2020 at 8:28 am |
Give the Dems two ball bearings and put them in an empty sealed padded room, and in ten minutes they’ll lose one and break the other
March 2, 2020 at 5:55 pm |
I’m gonna go way out of charter here & give the optimistic take. It could work out that we end up this mess with 4 separate political parties. Dems & GoP for the middle of the road babyboomers, 2 new parties for the left & right wing factions. This is assuming we have any more elections post 2020.
March 2, 2020 at 7:40 pm |
Now that is truly scary and maybe possible.
March 2, 2020 at 7:59 pm |
Another possibility is that if the Asshole loses the election – which I’ve said before is unlikely – he’ll declare it null and void because the virus kept people away from the polls. NOT FAIR! I mean, if I’ve thought of that, you can guarantee that the slimy human worm Steven Miller was all over that as soon as the virus became news.
March 3, 2020 at 12:55 am |
Yep, Bill Maher has been going on about this for awhile. The Donks gotta get enough people to the polls so there’s NFW Caligula can call foul and the rest of his butt-kissers will realize the party’s over and run from him like he’s got Covid-19 before the indictments start. The question is who the Donks will choose? Whoever it is they need to make it a referendum on Don the Con rather than the mess they let happen in 2016…but you know what my wife says…
March 3, 2020 at 8:06 am |
I’d call that scenario more of a given than a possibility.
March 3, 2020 at 12:00 pm |
After yesterday, any Dem will do. If they can fog a mirror, I’ll will vote for ’em.
March 4, 2020 at 2:12 am |
That’s what I said (and did) for Billary in 2016. Sadly, you and me were not enough to keep Caligula from winning the Electoral College. I just can’t see Bernie or Joe inspiring enough folks to prevent it happening again. Either the “Bernie Bros” get pissed and stay home or all the Biden supporters who don’t like Bernie do the same.
Putin and his puppets must be loving this classic “divide and conquer” operation – can the Donks come together to counter it? Will Bernie or Joe be able to make this case to the voters? This is really gonna boil down to the lesser of two evils, perhaps more than any election I can remember voting in.