Never stand when you can sit; never sit when you can sprawl.

OK, folks, just because we can, let’s take the temperature (rimshot) of the audience.

How are all y’all dealing with The Plague?

Here, Miss Mia Sopaipilla is banking Z’s because, hey, you never know when you’ll need to be well-rested.

Herself is business as usual at La Fábrica de Bombas — as far as we know, anyway, because classified classified classified.

And I, of course, remain in my secure location at The Compound, at the helm of my globe-spanning multimedia Cirque du So Lame, which would sound funnier if I weren’t so lame.

There’s leftover oven-baked chicken and chili con carne in the ’fridge, fresh and frozen fruits and vegetables, and the makings of a variety of vegetarian soups, stews and pasta dishes in the cupboards. We are well stocked with coffee, tea, and wine, but low on fake beer, which is not an issue as nobody ever got the DTs from a lack of fake beer.

And can you believe it? We have toilet paper. Didn’t need to wipe out (heh) a Costco to get it, either. When that runs out we’ll print mugshots of Il Douche and use those, mailing them to the Orange House afterward.

But enough about us. What’s up with you? Sound off in comments.


34 Responses to “Folklure”

  1. Stan Thomas Says:

    What is this with toilet paper? What are you young people doing that you need so much? Three sheets : one up, one down, one to polish. And if you do run short there’s always the Daily Express (*pick publication of your choice here); that’s about all it’s useful for – oh, and lining the cat litter tray.

  2. JD Dallager Says:

    Ignorance is bliss! ‘Nuf said……back to sleep! 🙂

  3. Hurben Says:

    8 confirmed cases, no deaths, (so far).

    Loads of TP & I don’t have to worry about ammo. Kiwis are recommended to postpone any international travel & all incoming have to self isolate for 14 days.

    Economy is going to take a hit with the drop off from tourism & a lot of small businesses are going to go to the wall.

    Had the first anniversary of the Christchurch massacres yesterday.

    Otherwise, all good down here in Godszone.

    Y’all take care out there..

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      We’ll get a triple whammy. Film/TV production is on hiatus; tourism will suffer; and with the Russians and Saudis engaged in a greasy dick-swinging competition the state’s oil-and-gas bidness is sustaining collateral damage.

      Glad to hear things are as well as can be expected, Hurben. Best to you and yours, and please keep us posted.

  4. Pat O'Brien Says:

    We are fine here. No confirmed cases in Cochise County, yet. Living in an over 55 development, we are in a target rich environment for the virus. The smarter half is on the board of directors for the HOA, and they are cancelling larger events but keeping the exercise classes, including water aerobics and aqua zumba. They are keeping us old folks healthy and moving. Most neighbors are limiting social time, but they are checking on each other.

    We took a long walk this morning, and I’m toying with a ride tomorrow. Patrick, I haven’t done your 66K birthday ride, but I will work on it. Maybe Khal beat me too it. Playing in traffic is probably safer than going to the grocery.

    Hurben, thanks for the good wishes. We have a Delta Force team on its way to kidnap Jacinda and dump trump on some mountain top in the outback. You know, American foreign policy at work. Seriously, take care amigo!

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      It’s nice to be away from the major metros, innit? Hal and his family must be appreciating their distance from what passes for civilization. Though his wife, Mary, has to travel to Pueblo for work. At some point one wonders when that may be curtailed.

      No rush on the b-day ride, Paddy me lad. I’m not 66 until the 27th. And if the doc gives me the green light tomorrow, I plan to start ramping up my trainer rides. Maybe I can do 66 minutes by the big day, hey?

      • Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

        66 minutes on a trainer? For your birthday? For my birthday I’d like to have someone tell me I DON’T have to spend 66 minutes on a trainer! I left mine back in Ioway and figure I can survive here in Sicily awhile longer (as in forever) without one.
        Covid-19 survival update: As of 11 AM Monday morning in Siracusa our local grocery store’s TP supply appeared to be normal though the pickings were slim down at the usually bustling outdoor market. Few of my usual vendors were there, but my cheese-making friends were there with a nice gift for me when I restocked our olive oil supply this morning. Eating well is the best revenge, right?

  5. Hurben Says:

    My friend from Christchurch just sent me this:

  6. terribleclaws Says:

    Someone once said, “In catastrophe there is opportunity”.

    I see opportunity. What’s the one sport in which we can all participate yet remain many meters from each other (yet let than a meter from most passing cars)? Yes, bicycling. Here is our chance to preach the gospel, the bicycle gospel that is.

    Personally, I plan to ride as much, or as little, as I usually do, while avoiding those groups rides even more than usual. If you do see me in a group ride you’ll recognize me at the one who is self-isolating off the back.

    Also as usual.

  7. Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

    You already know most of what’s up in Sicily. Cases of the virus are up here, probably due to those who escaped from the north before the total quarantine? No shortages of anything we buy at any grocery stores or supermarkets so far. We’re out on the balcony waving to our neighbors while clapping and/or singing both at noon and 6 PM each day and now there’s talk of doing it at 9 PM as well. Too much of a good thing?
    Cycling-wise, we’re taking the advice of Italy’s national team director Davide Cassani (and others) and staying off the bikes until after April 3. Riding around with just La Prof isn’t going to spread any virus, but they really don’t want people going around outside without a good reason. I’ve heard reports about people being asked to explain what they’re doing outside to the police – something I really, really would like to avoid as an immigrant!!!
    How soon before actual health authorities in the USA are suggesting such measures – only to be pooh-poohed by the self-described virus (and everything) expert, the USA’s toddler-in-chief?

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Well, take heart in that beautiful view you guys have. If you can’t get outdoors much, at least you can look at it.

      We’ve just gotten word of dramatic cutbacks in the business bars and beaneries will be permitted to conduct, so we’re getting there.

  8. carl duellman Says:

    i spent the better part of yesterday and a bit of today doing self isolation by working on some new mountain bike trails. right now i’m further self isolating by sitting at work trying to keep a poorly managed project afloat. tomorrow i’ll be sitting at work while everyone’s children (that won’t be in school) run around the office spreading god knows what kinds of viruses and bacteria.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Good man y’self, working on those trails. I hope I can start riding them again sometime soon. Dunno if a rigid cyclocross bike will be my steed of choice, though. Sigh.

    • carl duellman Says:

      no kids in the office today but one coworker out with ‘flu-like’ symptoms. yikes.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        Yikes indeed. I’m not sure what the flu situation* is here. I’ve heard that it’s nearly over and that it hasn’t even started yet. I’m gonna go with “We’re all fucked.” I’m gonna fill a bathtub with Purell and just soak in it until this shit is over with. If it ever is. …

        * The flu situation is “high” and “widespread,” according to the CDC. So we got that going for us, which is nice.

  9. khal spencer Says:

    Just got back from an hour and a half ride, complete with flat tire. We ran over to the co op to get three gallons of distilled water to take over to an elderly friend with a heart condition and some sort of medical contraption that needs purified water. She wanted nothing to do with going out there and taking chances. Or as she said, “I’m one of the people we worry about:”. I suspect we might be doing more of that if needed. They closed down the senior centers, so its not clear how everyone dependent on them will get what they need.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      We’ve made a pact with the neighbors to start singing out the windows like the Italians if we find ourselves on lockdown. There are a couple-three guitars, a flute, a few tin whistles, and a recorder within reach, so we should be able to make quite a racket.

  10. Shawn in the Gorge Says:

    My local stores were cleaned out of paper products 2 to 3 days ago. Just before I would normal shop for the all important paper a la buttocks. I’m headed out at about 10PM to hit the store for some more. They have a truck arriving this evening and there should be some paper stocked on the shelves by late evening. I’ll only buy what I’d normal get. The evening visit will mean that the store will only see a few customers keeping the potential for virus spread to a lesser amount.

    As for outdoor exercise, I live in a rural area that will allow for low-risk forays. My wing is recovering well from my earlier pedestrian collision (AC separation and 2 cracked ribs) so it will be nice to be rolling again. The ribs will keep me from running for a while.

  11. debby511 Says:

    There was a confirmed COVID-19 exposure at the company I work for. An employee was exposed, then tested positive. Fortunately I was out of town, hangin in Crestone when this occurred. Now I’m working from home, as are most of my coworkers. Having “underlying health issues”, catching the Plague would likely hit me hard. So I’m trying not to catch it but there is only so much you can do.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Stay safe, D. As an auld fella with bad pipes I’m hoping to steer clear too, but as you note, it ain’t gonna be easy.

      If we all became Breatharians we’d need less toilet paper.

  12. khal spencer Says:

    And now for something truly upbeat.

  13. Pat O’Brien Says:

    This is our greatest fear in SE Arizona.

  14. Jeff Cozad Says:

    Reordered coffee so I should be set once it arrives. Thinking about doing some bike tire shopping.

    Might even do some grocery shopping when I pick up a script for my better half.

  15. Herb from Michigan Says:

    So much for drowning your Covid19 sorrows here in Michigan. All bars and restaurants must close by 3 pm today for who knows how long. REI stores all close later today until at least March 27. Auto stocks plummeting and not soothed by gas prices dipping to $1.87. I hear Jim Morrison singing Strange Days in my head and it’s now an ear worm. Thank Zeus I’m not at an airport trying to get some place.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Herself paid $1.68 per gallon for a fillup today. Winning!

      • Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

        MAGA! Cheap gasoline..woohoo! I ask fracking enthusiasts what they plan to drink or bathe with once the water is all polluted from fracking operations to produce natural gas for export? Heaven forbid they slap some more tax on gasoline to pay for the repairs of the crumbling roads and bridges in the USA. Whatever happened to Don the Con’s big infrastructure plans? Seems like those would be very useful about now?

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